(Minghui.org) Recently, after a Fa study session, a practitioner mentioned that a new government regulation had come out, stating that people with a regular pension can no longer receive the old-age pension from the government. My husband and I were receiving the old-age pension, which is 150 yuan per month. So, I was surprised and wanted to find out more about the change. But that practitioner turned his attention toward his computer, so I decided to ask my husband about it later.

My husband has my Social Security card and has been collecting my old-age pension at the Social Security office for years. One day I brought up the topic of the old-age pension with him. He stopped me and grumbled angrily, “Go away. Always thinking about my money!” Since two practitioners were at my house, I didn’t want to lose face in front of them, so I swallowed my words and didn’t argue. But I felt aggrieved in my heart. I bit my tongue and did not ask about the money anymore, but my resentment for my husband was boiling inside. Tears streamed down my face uncontrollably. I was not crying, but tears kept falling. I am 72 years old, and I have never been like that before. As my tears continued to fall, my resentment and sense of being wronged grew stronger. That night, I did not say a word to my husband.

The next day, my husband readied himself for his trip as planned. I made dumplings for him in the morning, but did not talk to him. Before leaving home, he opened the door and turned back as if nothing had happened and said to me, “I’m leaving.” I said nothing and just waved at him.

Now I was alone at home, with my tears still falling. I felt so wronged and the resentment just grew. I could not stop dwelling on his shortcomings. He was so selfish; he only thought of himself, and never considered me. He did not truly love me and did not consider me part of the family, even though I had been married to him for 50 years! I can’t even ask about my own pension?! For so many years, he had controlled every family matter, and never cared about my opinion. I also remembered once when he was even on a video call with another woman. After I noticed that, he moved to his room to continue talking. All of this reminded me of his faults. At that moment, my mind was in great upheaval, like churning rivers and seas. My eyes were swollen from crying. I went to the bathroom to clean my face, before practitioners came to study that afternoon.

In the afternoon, Baling noticed that something was wrong with me, and another practitioner noticed that my expression was strange and my eyes were red. They asked me what was wrong. I did not want to waste group study time, so I did not tell them. During Fa study, my tears still would not stop. I kept wiping them away with my hands and couldn’t focus on Fa study the whole afternoon.

After the practitioners left, I just sat there; I couldn’t do anything. In the evening, I couldn’t fall asleep. My life had been completely upturned over the past few days. Besides studying the Fa with practitioners, I was upset and cried all day, thinking about my husband’s shortcomings. I decided not to answer his phone calls anymore.

On the fourth evening, I could not fall asleep, so I sat up, tears streaming down my face and grumbling about his faults. Suddenly, a thought flashed in my mind: “This is not right! The person who is crying is not me. I need to send forth righteous thoughts.” So I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts, and then looked inward to find where I was not in line with the Fa.

I realized I am a practitioner, not an ordinary person. As a practitioner, I should always think of others. With this thought, my tears subsided. I thought about my husband, how he was 75 years old, and came to this world for the Fa, waiting to be saved by Dafa. He has been very supportive of my cultivation and understood some of the truth about Dafa. I should not hurt him anymore, and I needed to apologize to him. I wanted to behave like a real practitioner, free of resentment and looking inwards to find my attachments during conflicts.

One hour passed by in the blink of an eye. At 11 p.m., I left my husband a voice message, telling him, “It was all my fault. Please don’t be upset. I am sorry. Please ignore my behavior.” Actually, I wanted to say more, but at the time, just a few words came out. He called back later, and his tone was calm and kind. He said little, but with this, the conflict was over.

Usually, I have a hard time getting up in the morning to do the Dafa exercises. Sometimes, even an alarm clock cannot wake me up. After this incident, it is easier for me to get up early to exercise.

I have a deeper understanding of Master’s words: “For a cultivator, looking within is a magical tool.” (“Fa Teaching at the 2009 Washington DC International Fa Conference,” Collected Fa Teachings, Vol. IX)

Whenever we encounter conflicts, we should remember that we are practitioners and act in accordance with the Fa. We should be kind to everyone, whether the person is a practitioner or an everyday person. With Master’s hint, I recognized my resentment and was determined to let it go, so Master removed the substance of resentment in another dimension. Now, I cannot think of anything bad about my husband; everything about him is good. I feel compassion for him. I remembered the day before the incident, his brother was trying to borrow money from him, so he was in a bad mood. Everything appears to be accidental. But if this incident had not happened, I would think I was doing well in cultivation. I have caused Master so much worry!

Without Master’s protection and enlightenment, I might be stuck, in trouble and alone, which the old forces could use as a loophole to persecute me. I was in such a dangerous situation.

I sincerely thank Master for his hint! I thought of the practitioners who are in the midst of tribulations. It is so hard for them. If they fail to pass one tribulation, the next one is even harder. I sincerely hope all of us practitioners can look inward, cultivate ourselves, and remember that Master is with us all the time. With our great Master’s protection, we are able to overcome any tribulation.

Please kindly point out any shortcomings. I once again express my heartfelt gratitude to Master! Thank you, fellow practitioners!