(From The Second Mainland China Internet Experience Sharing Conference)

(Clearwisdom.net)

"In order to eliminate this negative thing, you must first change your mind." (Zhuan Falun)

I started to practice Falun Dafa in May 1998, and I have gradually realized the profound meaning of this sentence from Teacher, especially during the course of my validating Dafa in Tiananmen Square.

On July 20, 1999, the winds and clouds suddenly changed, and my husband (also a practitioner) and I did not waver at all. We knew clearly that humans cannot fight with gods!

Although we could not have a Fa study group or practice with other practitioners, we kept studying and practicing at home. We kept exchanging views with fellow practitioners, no matter how great the pressure we didn't give up practicing. How can suppression change a heart enlightened by the universal truth?

In an instant it was 2000. By that time, my husband and I had already set up a truth-clarification materials production site, and took the initiative and responsibility of supplying materials to several former practice sites.

Because we were printing the materials, I read about the brutal persecution of Dafa practitioners by the evil forces on Minghui (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net) every day, I was unable to sit still seeing fellow practitioners suffering so much. I wanted to go to Tiananmen, as I thought I should endure the hardships with fellow practitioners. I would assume many risks going to Beijing, including being arrested, beaten and detained. Even my family might be implicated... I thought, no matter what dangers I face, I won't back down, I felt I "was unafraid of death."

I told my husband about my thoughts, and he said, "You are going to the extreme, it is an attachment. What if you don't come back, what do I do with the materials production site? (I can use a computer so I sourced, edited, and printed the materials. He did not know how to use a computer, so he made photocopies and did the binding. We cooperated very well.) What about all those practitioners' materials? What about those sentient beings waiting to be saved? What about this family? (We have to look after the elderly and our child) I was unable to answer, because I did not know whether I would come back, but I could not let go of the thought of going to Beijing. I was not sure if it was an attachment.

May 22, 2000 is a day that I remember with eternal gratitude. Teacher published "The Knowing Heart," the first article after July 20, 1999. Within the next few months, Teacher published another seven articles including "Towards Consummation." The merciful Teacher led me forward and lightened my heart with these eight articles. I suddenly saw the light, and understood even more that going to Beijing is to validate the Fa, not to endure, or be arrested, tortured or sentenced.

Making Falun Gong truth-clarification material is to tell people the truth. Isn't this also validating the Fa? I did not know why I wanted to go to Beijing so much.

On July 18, 2000, the Minghui editors wrote an article called "Our Compassionate and Venerable Master," which opened up to practitioners and other people the deeper truth of humankinds ability to survive the great disaster in 2000. It says "Of all the people in the world, who is capable of knowing why human beings are so fortunate. How many soothsayers have now lost their appeal? And yet it is our Master, who has enabled humankind to have this hope for survival, has been bearing the karma that was produced from the deterioration of humankind throughout the course of history."

"Because these evil beings had gathered such an enormous amount of karma and venomous elements, it took Master nine months to destroy it using his powerful energy potency. However, because the evil elements and the karma were so immense, they also caused serious damage to Master's body. Master's hair has turned gray; this is something we can see. As for the other harm that has been done to Master's body, Master doesn't mention it out of concern that it would cause his students to have hatred toward the evil beings and subsequently affect their cultivation. Such a compassionate and venerable Master -- in the course of the rectification of the Fa, Master has exhausted everything for sentient beings."

When I read that, I could not stop the tears streaming down my face. I thought, I must "cherish the repeated opportunities that Master, through tremendous sacrifice, has created for us to advance towards Consummation." ("Our Compassionate and Venerable Master")

In "Serious Teachings" published by Minghui editors on September 27, 2000, Master said,

"Some people wanted to wait for Master to spell things out and tell everyone what to do and how to protect the Fa. They have waited for Master to spell things out and tell everyone to go to Beijing to validate the Fa, and for Master to tell them clearly that [they should] clarify the truth to people. Once I spell things out for them, however, what they do is no longer self-initiated and out of their own righteous thoughts. Once the answers are provided the test ends, and those afraid to step forward to validate the Fa forever lose their chance."

Teacher's serious lesson shocked me. I can't remember whether I was having a dream or saw this while I was meditating, but I was taking an examination, and after I finished, I handed in my paper at a platform, and Teacher gave me 88 marks on the spot. 88 marks, I needed another 12 marks to achieve 100, I enlightened that Teacher was telling me that I needed to make 12 marks of efforts! One of the efforts was to care for a few failed students. To this day they have not stepped forward, and regard themselves as "steadfastly practicing at home" and doing all right. Some practitioners feared they would be arrested if they stepped out, and even imagined that if they could not endure the torture and were "transformed," it would be the end for them. We shared together many times, but it did not have much effect. I realized that I really needed to double my efforts and not just care about myself.

Whereupon, we studied "Serious Teachings" together, encouraged each other to step out, hand out materials, clarify the truth to people, go to Tiananmen to validate the Fa... With Teacher's guidance, some practitioners began to come out, although some only handed out one flyer each time, it was the essential change of being capable of stepping out!

I still did not let go of the thought of going to Tiananmen. Although I have enlightened from the Fa that "validating Dafa is what's truly magnificent," "getting arrested is not the purpose" ("Rationality"), but I did not completely abandon the human notion of "possibly being arrested." I reminded myself, I must truly let go of that attachment. Only then I can go to Tiananmen to validate the Fa.

I calmed down to earnestly study the Fa. It is the compassionate Teacher and great Fa that helped me eliminate that human notion a bit by bit.

When I finally enlightened from the Fa why I wanted to go to Tiananmen, it was autumn of 2001. Going to Tiananmen is to validate the Fa, and coming back is also to validate the Fa. I guard the Fa in an open and honorable way and must come back in the same manner.

I told my husband about it, he said, "You should arrange matters for the materials production site." I replied, "There is no need." He asked, "What if you don't come back?" I calmly answered, "I will certainly come back, in three or four days maximum." He said, "Are you so sure? Are you not afraid at all?" I was still calm and said, "There is no 'what if', if there was a 'what if', I wouldn't be going. I go there to validate the Fa. I can't bring shame on Dafa or make a negative impact on Dafa. I go there in an open and honorable way to tell people that 'Falun Dafa is great', 'Falun Dafa encounters astonishing injustice', to save people, to complete my prehistoric great wishes. My coming back in an open and honorable way is also validating Dafa. Let people around us witness the dignity and mystery of Dafa. Also to validate to practitioners with fear what Teacher said,"

"Getting arrested is not the purpose. Validating Dafa is what's truly magnificent, and it is to validate Dafa that you step forward." ("Rationality" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)

"I have been thinking about it for a very long time. All of these things are arranged by Teacher, I should go now, don't worry." Meanwhile, I told a few fellow practitioners about my plans to go to Beijing. One of them wanted to go with me, so we decided to calm down and study the Fa before we left.

In order to avoid disturbance, we did not tell our family members who are not practitioners.

In Tiananmen Square, with smiles, our voices were peaceful and loud, repeatedly telling people on the square, "Falun Dafa is great," "Falun Dafa is the righteous law," "Return innocence to our Teacher," and "Return innocence to Dafa." People looked at us in a friendly way, and there was no interference. Then, we deliberately hung banners in two separate places in Tiananmen Square. When I was facing bustling vehicles and pedestrians on the street and hanging a banner on a fence there in Tiananmen Square, my fellow practitioner used strong righteous thoughts to stop a police officer who was walking towards me, and fixed him there. Then he just turned around and walked away.

We went and returned in an open and honorable way. When we are "truly stepping forward out of ordinary humanness," ("Also in a Few Words" from Essentials for Further Advancement II) the evil is actually nothing. When we came home, the members of our family who are not practitioners also witnessed the miracle of Dafa because of this. Fellow practitioners and I again experienced that Teacher's graciousness is enormous and powerful.

My trip to Tiananmen Square to validate the Fa was of course not just going there to endure - but "truly stepping forward out of ordinary humanness." This course is the process of Teacher leading us to improve on our path of cultivation by holding our hands. It is also a process of gradually changing my mind in the Fa.

I'll forever remember Teacher's earnest lesson,

"In order to eliminate this negative thing, you must first change your mind." (Zhuan Falun)