(Clearwisdom.net) It's early October now. My experience-sharing article is still not done. I have so many thoughts. But I didn't know where to start. I let the old forces interfere with me and restrain me, making me so busy that I didn't even have time to write. When I was meditating and sending forth righteous thoughts I suddenly realized and became clear-minded that we are Dafa practitioners, walking the path to divinity, walking the path to assist Master in rectifying the Fa. We do this for the people of the future. Master has made great efforts to save us, yet I couldn't even write an article. I asked myself, "Am I still Master's disciple?"
I remember Master having said before July 1999 that he loves to listen to Dafa practitioners sharing experiences. The process of us writing experiences to share is the process of identifying our shortcomings and purifying our minds. It is the process of raising our realms and validating Dafa. Some practitioners have passed the tests. Some didn't do a good job passing the tests. All of us should write out our true thoughts to report to Master. The moment this thought occurred I became open-minded.
1. Fortunate to Have Obtained Dafa
I have practiced Falun Dafa for eleven years, since July 20, 1995, and have experienced significant physical and mental changes. Although because of the persecution I lost almost everything in this human world, I feel from the bottom of my heart that we are Master's disciples and are the luckiest and happiest people. The most wonderful moment is when we study the Fa, practice the exercises, send forth righteous thoughts, clarify the truth and save sentient beings.
Sometimes, while meditating and studying the Fa, just as Master had said, I felt I was sitting in an eggshell. It feels great. The more I study the Fa the clearer my mind becomes, the more wisdom I have. After overcoming the demons of sleep and emotions, when sending forth righteous thoughts my body was surrounded with energy. Just that one thought: we are Master's disciples. We are here to assist Master with rectifying the Fa and offering salvation to sentient beings.
Every dimension in the universe, from micro to macro, everywhere there exists, "The Fa rectifies the cosmos, the evil is completely eliminated."
It's so wonderful! If there weren't for Fa-validation work waiting for me to do, I would have kept doing meditation. Revered Master: some practitioner said if we could, we would build a road with gold to welcome Master. Revered Master: although I don't have any gold, I'm willing to use my cultivated gold-like and pure heart/mind to make a road to assist Master to rectify the Fa, rescue sentient beings and follow Master home.
2. Persisting in Cultivation During the Persecution
The persecution began July 20, 1999. I understand the value of Dafa and persist
in cultivation. I was arrested and detained several times for practicing Falun
Dafa. On August 8, 2000, local police sent me to a forced labor camp to torture
me. They had hung me up on trees, window frames and bed frames. They slapped me,
beat me, kicked me, and shocked me with electric batons. They made me stand
under the summer sun, and outside in winter. They tried to brainwash me and
force me to give up cultivation. I suffered all kinds of torture.
While I was in a forced labor camp my husband drove there to file for divorce. I lost almost everything in the human world. These old force arrangements didn't change my mind of continuing to cultivate. Even faced with cruel torture, fellow practitioners and I took advantage of every opportunity we had to help each other memorize those portions of the Fa we knew. Just like that, I was able to think several times of letting go of life and death, as Master refers to.
Master said in "Eliminating Your Last Attachment(s)"
"If a cultivator can let go of the thought of life and death under any circumstance, evil is sure to be afraid of him. If every student is able to do this, evil will of itself no longer exist." (Essentials for Further Advancement II) Master said in "Dafa Disciples' Righteous Thoughts are Powerful"
"No matter what the situation, do not cooperate with the evil's demands, orders, or what it instigates." (Essentials for Further Advancement II) Master said in "Nothing Kept"
"In life, nothing sought, In death, regretting naught; Washing away all wrong thought, Buddhahood, with less adversity, is wrought." (Hong Yin, Translation Version A)
While I was on a hunger strike the guards seduced me: "Eat some food, even if it's just one meal!" I knew that if I obeyed them there would be endless persecution and torture. I made up my mind: "I'm not here to eat, drink or work. There is nothing wrong with being a good person and studying the Fa. The evil shouldn't incarcerate me here. I do want to study the Fa and practice the exercises. I will not obey the evil!" I continued my hunger strike. I only had Fa in my mind. On June 16, 2002, after being on hunger strike for one hundred seventy-two days, I finally was able to walk out of the forced labor camp and went back to clarify the truth and offering sentient beings salvation.
During a critical time of rescuing sentient beings, I did not study the Fa with a calm mind because I was too busy doing Dafa work. Local National Security Team agents and local police station personnel arrested me on December 14, 2003. I was sent to the local brainwashing center.
When I found my fundamental attachments the evil could no longer keep me incarcerated. Right after the 2004 Chinese New Year I begged Master, being locked behind three iron gates, three huge locks on the second floor, with metal bars on the windows. I pleaded, "I can't be locked up here. I want to get out so I can spend time rescuing sentient beings." With the power Master gave me I was able to break a metal pipe. There were usually two dogs outside, a yellow one and a black one. When I was getting out the dogs didn't even come out. There was a car parked right outside whose driver helped me get away. So, with Master's benevolent protection, I escaped from the brainwashing center right under the eyes of the evildoers.
3. Overcoming Tribulations with Righteous Thoughts
After I escaped from the brainwashing center in early 2004 the guards were looking for me everywhere. I chose to stay away from my home. After more than two years of tribulations and challenges, with Master's benevolent protection, I was finally heading off all danger. I was able to find my fundamental attachments and let go of self. I started to completely think of others and devoting myself to rescuing sentient beings. I felt great and was able to go wherever I wanted to go, and could do anything I wanted to do. In my dream I was on a high plateau. There was nothing around it. Nothing could block me.
While I was away from my home I felt the closest people were Dafa practitioners. I am able to stay in other practitioners' homes to pass the nights, giving us an environment to assist Master to rectify the Fa and to advance together.
When I just got out of the brainwashing center I first went to a relative's home. They were afraid of having me there. I changed my clothes, called another practitioner and took a cab to their house. His wife had just begun to practice as well. After she learned that I was able to escape the den of monsters with Master's protection, we put out Master's picture and an incense burner and kowtowed to Master with great respect. We were all so excited that we couldn't sleep that night. The third day local practitioners came to visit. We encouraged one another to do well all the things Dafa practitioners are supposed to do.
Although several of us were able to overcome tribulations, due to the anxiety of doing Dafa work, we kept having conflicts. In one of our rented place my bike was stolen. A woman said people downstairs were watching us and asked me to leave for another practitioner's home.
I also took another practitioner A to the new practitioner's home. Practitioner A was also staying where I had, and had also decided to leave. We did our own work for Dafa at our new location. Around the fortieth day, practitioner A told me that she had met people from my office who said they knew me. She asked me which one of us should leave. I noticed her uncertainty and her hesitation. To alleviate her pressure I left. I thought no matter how hard or difficult things might get for me, I wouldn't go back there again so practitioner A could do her work without any pressure.
What made me the saddest then was the obstacles some practitioners had in their minds. They knew I had escaped from the brainwashing center. They didn't want to have contact with me too often. Even when they did connect with me every once in a while they didn't want to stay with me for too long.
During the days the evildoers were searching for me I didn't have anywhere to go. While suffering from the emotional feel of fellow practitioners' avoidance and blame I met a practitioner Zengzeng (Alias) who people said is a "spy." He accepted me into their place, knowing the risks. Practitioner A said, "If you go to his place, don't try to contact us any more." I was thinking: "No matter what, as long as I have a place I can validate Dafa and clarify the truth, I will go. When I was locked up in the brainwashing center I once thought that as long as I can have the opportunity to rescue sentient beings, no matter how hard or how tiring, I'm willing to do anything."
I now realized that all intolerable environments were arranged for Fa-rectification and cultivation.
The woman friend I cooperated with to do Dafa work then had a husband, but I had lost everything in the human world. Sometimes I lived in practitioners' homes who have families. It wasn't very convenient. Although people said that practitioner was "spy," I trusted him. That is why I went to their place. About forty days after I left the woman friend, police arrested and sentenced her to seven years in prison.
While I was at Zengzeng's place, over twenty police and evildoing people surrounded a local practitioner's house. Their machines for producing truth-clarifying materials were taken away. To gather further facts of the persecution, Zengzeng took me on his motorcycle to the fellow practitioner's home. We were able to expose the evil persecution - six police cars surrounding practitioners. I hesitated then to appear publicly. So, for every local persecution incident that needed verification, it was all Zengzeng's doing who helped confirm and publish these on the Internet.
When I was by myself at home, after practicing the exercises in the morning I take full advantage of the time to study the Fa. Sometimes I could read three chapters in a day. It was easy to live by myself. I cooked some food that could easily last for two days. Around 1:00 p.m. I would turn on the computer to edit persecution articles and withdrawals from the CCP. Sometimes I would work until midnight without feeling tired or sleepy. I also exposed practitioner Zengzeng's arrest at the hands of the evildoers and that he was forced to be a fake "spy." After he returned he continued to do Dafa work and exposed persecution incidents in the forced labor camp.
4. Nothing Could Interfere with My Mindset of Cultivating Dafa
Food ran out. I went home and found my mother was very sick. I sent forth righteous thought to eliminate the factors that were persecuting her. I also asked my mother to send forth righteous thoughts and read Master's lectures to her. My mother was able to walk and practice the exercises with us. My brother and sister didn't want me to leave and said when mother is well they will start practicing Dafa as well. But fellow practitioners were waiting for me to print Dafa materials and the Minghui Weekly. I left home.
On that Saturday when Zengzeng came back he told me, "Your mother passed away." It was so shocked that I couldn't study the Fa anymore. It affected me when sending forth righteous thoughts. I couldn't calm down for several days. Even when I went out of town, I still wasn't able to get back to normal. I realized that the old forces were trying to destroy my firm belief in Dafa, using my emotional attachment to my mother. They are trying to interfere with my mind so I won't be able to completely devote myself to do Dafa work. The evil wasn't able to change my belief in Dafa when they locked me in the forced labor camp or the brainwashing center. Now they want to destroy me, using my preoccupation with emotion.
Through continuous Fa study I became clear-minded: I'm Master's disciple. I came here to assist Master with Fa-rectification and rescuing sentient beings. I firmly believe in Master, and believe that Master will arrange everything well for me. Nothing in this human world could interfere with my firm belief in Dafa. When I let go of my attachment to emotion I don't feel bothered any more. I am completely devoting everything to doing Dafa work and rescuing sentient beings.
(To Be Continued)