(Clearwisdom.net) I can still clearly remember how happy I was when I first began the practice of Falun Gong in 1996. Before that, I had been tortured by different agonies that were mainly a result of my long-term depression. I had been depressed for several years, and even my body was weak. I had just started attending college and I kept wondering if there would ever be a time when I would not be in pain. I was still young and I had to find a way to deal with this issue. Otherwise, no matter what else I achieved, I would still be in pain. I realized that it was important for people to be healthy both in mind and body.

After I began to practice Falun Gong, I suddenly understood many things and also realized from the Fa's principles how profound Dafa is. I was sure that cultivation was the most important thing in my life. I soon knew that I had changed a lot and truly felt that my future life path had also changed. I persevered in doing the exercises every day, and whenever I had time, I studied the Fa. I constantly checked myself according to the Fa, not sparing myself, and step by step, I did things better. I was purified, and both my soul and my body were changing every day. When I look back, I know that Master was pushing us forward so that we could be in the best state to save sentient beings today.

When I first became a practitioner, I studied the Fa with the mindset of solving my own problems, namely, my depression. When I stopped focusing on solving my own problems, my depression decreased greatly. Thinking about my psychological problems, some were solved while others were in the process of being solved. Then, after Master's article "Digging Out The Roots" (from Essentials For Further Advancement) was published, I dug out the roots of my own attachments. I asked myself just what was my motivation for studying the Fa, why was I going to group Fa study and doing the exercises? When I first began practicing, I knew that I was studying the Fa to solve my own problems. Now I knew that this was wrong and I must cultivate myself to meet the requirements of Dafa. That is the goal of cultivation.

There were more than ten people in our Fa study group and sixteen or seventeen regularly came to do the exercises at our practice site. This is an indicator of our determination and depth of cultivation. We studied the Fa and did the exercises together and spread the Fa. Many newcomers joined. Dafa is really wonderful! Some seriously ill people saw profound changes after they just started to study the Fa. This happened quite often. We experienced the happiness brought to us by Dafa both in mind and body.

In July 1999, the CCP began its persecution of Dafa. Many practitioners went to Beijing to appeal and clarify the truth to different government departments. But some practitioners fluctuated due to fear. Programs that slandered Dafa were broadcast on TV every day. I thought it over. I realized that what we were experiencing was a test and that I must walk this path well. After I stabilized myself, I felt that it was crucial for us to determine how to deal with the issue. It is the key factor that draws a distinction between ordinary people and practitioners, between human beings and divine beings. Unfortunately, some practitioners didn't make good choices on this issue. They started to doubt Master and the Fa, which lowered them to the level of ordinary people again. Some practitioners even left cultivation. Looking back, the other reason that I was able to remain steadfast in Dafa is because of my solid cultivation during those years before the persecution began, when the Fa brought me huge changes both in mind and body.

However, for a period after the persecution began, I felt that I was not in a good state and felt distanced from real cultivation. Though I appeared to be studying the Fa, I didn't think that I was doing the "three thing"s or cultivating myself diligently. But why not? I do place the Fa first, but when I wanted to truly be diligent in cultivation, I simply couldn't. I dug out the roots and found some attachments. I concluded that I had three attachments:

This is the deadly test that every practitioner will have to pass. If you want to cultivate diligently and enter into the wonderful realm of cultivation, as practitioners you must give up your heart of lust. For some practitioners the attachment to lust is as strong as an addiction to drugs, and you may be hooked once you taste it. Reflecting on myself, it seemed that I kept on being tested by lust. Every time I failed to pass it, I would deeply regret it. This situation was very painful and I would be depressed afterwards. This seriously frustrated my confidence in my cultivation. When the next test came, I would fail to pass it again, and this process repeated again and again.

Some practitioners wrote articles and said that after they had eliminated the attachment to lust, they realized what the state of divine beings must be and they felt very relaxed and peaceful. Later on I enlightened that the attachment to lust could also impact other aspects of one's cultivation, such as not being able to get up on time to send righteous thoughts or cultivating yourself diligently. Practitioners often talked about why a small thing could be done well this time but the next time couldn't be done so well. Maybe the main reason was that some big attachments remained. Because you are at such level, there are corrupt materials in your level, and these things can easily interfere with you. When you go along with the attachment to lust, you may be in a great deal of pain. But when you can pass the test, you'll really feel wonderful. You'll feel released, purified, and comfortable (the feeling that you have when you assimilate yourself to the characteristic of the universe), In the process of getting rid of the heart of lust, I learned many things. There are things one enlightens to and learns when you pass every test. When you pass a test, you reach another level and possess something in that level. The things become the basis for you to pass another test to go forward. My understanding of cultivation is: Cultivation is to purify you in mind and body. If you feel that you cannot cultivate diligently, you might need to ask yourself whether you have gotten rid of the attachment of lust and perhaps you might find that attachment is the root cause of other problems.

You might feel sleepy while studying Fa, doing the exercises, or sending righteous thoughts. Thinking it over, I realized that I actually slept enough and I shouldn't feel sleepy at all, especially since I do the exercises every day. The demon of sleep makes me confused and I have difficulty controlling myself. From another perspective, it's a pity to be dominated by the demon of sleep. As a cultivator, we must pass this test. This is somewhat related to my attachment to comfort. This attachment should have been relinquished at the beginning of cultivation, but now many practitioners who have cultivated for long time may still have this problem. We really should pay serious attention to this.

Seeking comfort and not being able to endure hardship

For most people the attachment to seeking comfort is very deeply rooted, not because they can't physically endure hardship but because they just don't want to. They just want to enjoy being comfortable and at home. Thinking over what being comfortable really is, it's actually a state of mind. When you have that comfort, you feel at ease, otherwise, you hurt or feel uncomfortable. However, the real pain comes from the pursuit of comfort. People might think and act like this, but as practitioners, although we don't purposely seek out hardships to endure, we do analyze why hardships cause us pain. It is actually due to human attachments, and we should let them go so as to improve ourselves. After you really get rid of the attachment to comfort, you will really feel at ease. It is impossible for people to feel comfortable forever. When people feel the pain of discomfort, they don't try to find the root cause that produces the pain, but instead just keep pursuing comfort in this uncomfortable environment. The above three conclusions are my own understanding, and practitioners might look inside to see whether you also encounter these kinds of interference.

Fa-rectification is progressing quickly, and we all know that time is quite limited. We should cultivate diligently to do the three things well. Some practitioners do well while others don't do so well. The basic reason is not whether one cultivates diligently. When something negative or inappropriate happens, no matter whether it's due to personal reasons or an omission of the whole body, it's actually because we don't cultivate well enough. We should search inside to find where the attachment is located instead of discussing the thing itself. We shouldn't just let it pass but should evaluate the situation based on the Fa to find the real reason and root it out.

The other issue is about enduring hardship. In our process of individual cultivation during Fa-rectification, it is actually a process of enduring hardship. But cultivation is not simply for enduring hardship--the key is to improve your xinxing. It would actually be going to extremes to solely place emphasis on enduring hardship without improving your xinxing. Even if you can do the sitting meditation for three hours today, can you maintain your xinxing tomorrow or the day after tomorrow? We must first make efforts to truly improve our xinxing and then your ability to endure hardship and your xinxing level will automatically supplement each other. If you always want to endure hardship, you may not make it in the long run and you might also lose your will to cultivate.

Each practitioner needs to walk their own path of cultivation. I thought about how I could best validate the Fa. I first identified my own skills: I know something about technology and I'm relatively familiar with the Internet. Maybe it would be easy for me to start by using these abilities to explain the truth to sentient beings.

There are all kinds of people on the Internet. Sometimes they are very nice, but others might curse you. My xinxing and cultivation at any given moment might influence the effect of truth clarification. In the beginning, I was afraid of doing badly when I talked, so I was uneasy. Gradually I relaxed and was no longer fearful and the effect was a little better than before. Once a person knew the truth, I would feel so happy for them. But when a person didn't accept the truth, I felt depressed. These different outcomes reflected my attachments. We should clarify the truth with wisdom and talk to people, always being considerate of the other party's feelings.

Once I met a middle school student on the Internet. His mother was a practitioner and had been arrested. He was repulsed by what happened to his mother and therefore had a somewhat negative impression of Dafa. He thought that Dafa was the cause of his mother being persecuted. I told him that the CCP is the sole cause of the persecution of thousands of innocent people and that his mother did nothing wrong. It was the CCP that made his mother--and him--suffer. I said, "Your mother is the closest person on earth to you, but now you even don't support your own mother. Wouldn't you say the persecution is evil?" After we talked, he understood and I was really happy for him.

Another time I met a stranger on the Internet. After chatting a while, I knew that he was government employee and he was strongly against Dafa. Everything that he said was a repetition of the CCP's lies and propaganda. When I first communicated with him, I got very sad and became hot-headed. I controlled myself and listened to him without saying anything. After I calmed down, I clarified the truth to him. He listened and an hour later, his attitude had changed. That night, I had a dream, and in the dream, I kicked a ball and shot hoops. In the beginning, I couldn't shoot very well, but nevertheless I scored a goal. I enlightened that Master was letting me know that I was having an effect when I clarified the truth.

Through writing this article, I have enlightened that one writes articles to share what you have experienced and enlightened to in order to improve as a whole. It doesn't matter if it's written at a high level or not; when you write it out, you will benefit others. In the process of writing, you may also become clear on something that you used to feel confused about. I hope practitioners write articles to communicate with each other.

Let's do better and treasure all the wonderful things Master has given us.