(Clearwisdom.net)

Studying the Fa

When I began to practice Falun Dafa I believed that the book Zhuan Falun was very good, so I read it daily. However, I read it without full attention or comprehension, similar to a young monk chanting scriptures. Looking back, I can see that, although I read it everyday, I remained on the human level and did not improve as a cultivator. I wasted a lot of precious time. I read too fast and thus did not gain a deep understanding of the Fa. I hope that my fellow practitioners learn from my mistakes. One should put emphasis on quality and not speed when studying the Fa.

It took me a while to realize that when studying the Fa I should be calm and sit with good posture. I need to show respect to the Fa. In studying the Fa we must concentrate. Only then can we understand the Fa and improve our cultivation state. Now, I read each word with a calm mind. I read slowly and the results are very good.

Falun Dafa books are celestial books and the fundamentals of the cosmos' law. Therefore, in studying the Fa we must remain humble and not expect to understand everything at first glance. This notion is one of the root causes that hinders practitioners from really improving. Only when we are respectful when we read the Fa can the magnificent Fa principles be shown. Gaining a deep understanding of the Fa depends on our sincerity, humility, and perseverance.

To improve in cultivation, one must study the Fa diligently. If you do not want to make the effort, how can you raise your cultivation level? When I saw some practitioners who were not diligent when they studied the Fa, I really worried about them. Sometimes I studied the Fa for over eight hours. I was truly tired in the evening. When you want to cultivate you have to suffer hardships. I think it is worth it, because one raises one's level studying Zhuan Falun.

Sickness Karma

I had "dermatitis" for more than three years, with pus and bloody sores over my entire body. The itching was often beyond forbearance. When I woke up in the middle of the night, I saw that I had even scratched off my skin. I didn't listen to people when they poked fun at me or tried to persuade me to go see a doctor. I only wanted to study the Fa and practice the five exercises. I had no idea how long it would take to recover, so I ignored the itching and pain and did not think too much about other issues.

Validating the Fa

I went to Beijing to appeal for justice for Falun Gong several times but was arrested on the train. On my second trip I went on my own. I cried that I had failed to reach Beijing.

After reading Teacher's article "Path," I enlightened that each practitioner's path is different. We must walk our own path. When I went to Beijing I was not quite clear on the Fa principles, and on returning home my family members said, "Why didn't you take care of your child? You simply leave home whenever you want to?" I could not explain myself clearly. As a matter of fact, I didn't want to go to Beijing--another practitioner had encouraged me to go. What's more, before we went I vowed, "Because the practitioner I planned to go with had been persecuted, this time, in case of danger, I will protect her." This practitioner did not, in the end, come along, and I was arrested.

When we share with fellow practitioners we should not be over anxious. It is like teaching students mathematics. We must give the students time to learn the fundamentals, teach them how to analyze a given problem, and guide them to use existing theories or formulas to solve the problems. This way, students truly gain the fundamentals. They will have learned to apply their new knowledge to other problems, having gained a thorough understanding of the subject matter. If we simply tell the students the answers instead of the methods, they learn nothing and can't solve it when they encounter the same problem another time. The desire to help a fellow practitioner improve is good, but it must be based on sharing from the perspective of the Fa. They will then be able to understand their responsibility. We should not just ask a practitioners to "go to Beijing" and "distribute fliers" because we believe that this has to be done.

Clarifying the Facts

I felt ashamed because I only distributed truth-clarification materials about Falun Gong and its persecution infrequently. Every time I distributed these materials I was scared. "What should I do? Where was my path?" I repeatedly asked myself or Teacher these questions until one day when I was doing the exercises, Teacher showed me a pen, and I began to clarify the facts with a pen.

As long as we cultivate, we suffer hardships and should let go of our attachments. I was not clever and couldn't write well. Therefore, I had to search, collect, and read a lot of reference materials and information. After finishing the article I had to do many revisions. This is because only a refined article can be considered responsible to Dafa and sentient beings. I also paid attention to the length of the article, as cherishing other people's time shows respect.

When writing articles, a practitioner's starting point is totally different from a non-practitioner's. Practitioners write articles to help the reader understand the beauty of Dafa, the nobleness of practitioners, and the wickedness of the persecution. Practitioners want the reader to become compassionate so they can be saved. Non-practitioners' articles, on other hand, are written to gain fame and promote themselves. Therefore, practitioners should not express resentment or anger, nor should they write anything to gain fame and wealth. Practitioners must write from the angle of saving sentient beings. They should be responsible for sentient beings. They should put sentient beings as their first priority and write based on non-practitioners' ability to comprehend and their feelings, so they can save them.

I often put myself in the shoes of a reader to evaluate what is being said. I try to use a tone and reasoning suitable to saving sentient beings. I want to let them feel our compassion and hope that they eventually accept our advice.

Genuine Cultivation

Before I practiced Falun Gong I had a very bad temper, had no self-esteem, and was suspicious. After I became a practitioner I did not do well when facing xinxing tests. However, after I lost my temper I was able to look within. Then I wrote down my attachments and reviewed these problems from the perspective of the Fa and tried to eliminate them. To remind myself, I wrote them on pieces of paper and hung them up. My notes included, "No remorse, no hatred," "Let go of selfishness," and "Think more about others." While cooking meals I would search for answers, including, "Why did I fail to pass the test?" I tried to dig out my deep-rooted attachments until I found the root cause. Then, I did my best to correct it and to do well during the next test.

As for losing my temper, Teacher had given me hints in my dreams. Finally I realized that I had too much resentment in my heart. I asked myself, would a person with no resentment and no hatred have such grievances and bad temper? I must let go of my grievances and hatred, and try to reach the state "Compassion should arise in the heart, and the facial expression should be peaceful." ("The Great Consummation Way of Falun Dafa")

My mother and I were estranged. My mother had always been very broadminded. Whenever I fell ill and went to see her, she said, "It's alright. It's still miles away from your heart!" I had eye problems and suffered from neurasthenia for ten years, but Mother did not take me to see a doctor. As I grew up, the relationship between my mother and me grew worse. After I was persecuted for practicing Falun Gong, she made a lot of stinging remarks, and I was angry with her. As a practitioner, I knew that this was wrong.

Finally I realized that if I, a practitioner, held a grudge towards my mother, then I have not cultivated well. If I could not tolerate or forgive my mother, where was a practitioner's compassionate heart? Actually, my mother always loved me. She often cooked good food and took it to my home. However, I always looked at her shortcomings and judged her harshly.

Mother are human and they make mistakes. However, I wanted my mother to be perfect but did not look at myself. Mother is nearly 70 years old. I should tolerate her outlook on life and not think badly of her. I should be more understanding and not hold grudges. At her age I should take care of her instead of expecting her to show concern for me. When cultivating in this human world, the family relationships should become more harmonious. After reaching consummation a divine being will govern the sentient beings of his/her world. These sentient beings will have different thoughts and actions. A divine being will rule his/her world with compassion and tolerance, not through accusation and nitpicking.

In our cultivation we should not use our notions to judge people, because our concepts might be wrong and what we see can be transformed by our minds. Only when we let go of our own attachments and look at other people's strong points can we reach the realm of a cultivator.

Conclusion

Before I practiced Falun Gong I often felt that I was like a pitiful, ugly duckling. I was thin and weak. After I practiced Falun Gong I turned into a humble and respectful person and persevered in my cultivation. I let go of worldly desires. Now, whenever I feel that I am wronged, I look within. When I am hurt over the loss of my worldly interests, I tell myself to face it with an open mind, and when I feel sad, I face it with the help of the Fa principles. I am getting healthier and more tolerant. I am trying to make progress daily.

It's been ten years since I started to practice Falun Gong. During this time I have had a lot of regrets, suffered hardships, and felt that I have not matured enough. Compared to diligent practitioners I still have a long way to go. I will continue to cultivate and try my best to achieve great, benevolent compassion and tolerance.

Please kindly help me understand any shortcomings I may have.