(Clearwisdom.net) The human world is like a big dye vat or maze. Since we are in it all the time, if our thoughts deviate even slightly from the Fa, we will perish. It is very easy to develop the attachment to pursuing comfort, and thus be trapped in the human world with no way out. We need to clean ourselves constantly with Dafa to keep our minds right. Teacher asked us to assimilate to the Fa and to meet the Fa's standard. The old forces use many devious ways to try and keep us in the human world. If our minds are not clear, we are likely to lose self control and fall into their traps.
For the past several months, I was extremely busy with work. I often worked till late into the night and was even busier during the day. The illusion that the old forces created for me was that if I left work, I would cease to function, the company's business would be in jeopardy, the other employees time would be wasted, and even my family could be in trouble. So if I spent time on anything other than work, I was hurting my family and I was not a good person. Thus, I put all my energy into business day and night. I had no time to do the three things that Teacher expected of us. I was very exhausted both physically and mentally. This situation lasted for quite a while. Fellow practitioners worried about me. They kindly suggested that I be careful in handling this challenge. I was also worried, but I still followed the path set up by the old forces, and did not actively eliminate this form of persecution.
About a month later, my sister who is also a practitioner, told me that she mentioned my situation to a practitioner from out of town. She told him that I have good enlightenment quality, but was trapped by human things sometimes. She was concerned for me. But that practitioner remarked, "If he has good enlightenment quality, why is he be trapped by human things? Where's his enlightenment? Actually on the one hand he clings to human notions and sentimentality, but on the other hand he wants to be like a god." I was speechless. When I heard that that practitioner had to leave home due to the persecution and has been homeless for eight years, I felt even more ashamed. Leaving home means that he has stepped out of this human life and is not able to care for his family, and does not have a job. Instead, he gives all of himself to Dafa. And he has done that for eight years! I had been cultivating ten years, how was I doing? When Teacher taught the Fa so clearly, I still needed a practitioner to give me a clear wakeup call! I felt too ashamed to face Teacher or other practitioners.
Looking back, when other practitioners shared on how they got rid of fear, I often smiled in my heart, "I do not have fear. I can openly do Dafa work." All of sudden I realized, actually it wasn't that I was not afraid, but I was just looking at other practitioners as an outsider. If I also left home and became homeless, working on producing and delivering truth clarification materials or setting up and coordinating material production sites, could I still be unafraid? The reason that I did not have fear was because I was busy with non-practitioner work. Doing non-practitioner work will not be persecuted. Of course I wasn't afraid, and that was why.
In the past, even when I was not busy with work, didn't I just stay at home and study the Fa, do the exercises, and selfishly enjoy the Minghui materials brought regularly by other practitioners? Each week I would distribute some truth-clarification materials, but that was just to complete my task. Was I truly meeting the cultivation standard for a Dafa disciple at this time? The only difference was that I sought no money but peace of mind. I wasn't actively cultivating myself or assimilating to the Fa. I just routinely participated in some Dafa work each week. Then I comforted myself, "I haven't fallen behind. I have not left Dafa. When the great elimination comes I will be saved." How dirty this thought was! I was bargaining with Teacher, trying to deceive Teacher, and deceiving myself. And I didn't realize this deeply hidden thought until this very moment!
Teacher arranged only one path for us. That is cultivation. We came to the human world to cultivate. Whatever environment we are in and whatever life we live, we are here to cultivate and to save people. We can't cling to human notions and comfort with one hand and try and be like gods with the other. We need to be clear which is more important, the non-practitioner's work and life, or saving people. For each Fa-rectification Dafa disciple, Teacher arranged a path, and the old forces arranged a path for us too. We can choose only one. Which one to choose is up to each one of us. No one can do this for us.
I am really grateful for that practitioner's alarming words. They woke me up.
By February 2, 2009
