(Clearwisdom.net) My emotions surfaced after I read, "To Confused Young Fellow Practitioners" and I wanted to seize this opportunity to share my experience with other practitioners, especially young practitioners like me.
I was a young Dafa practitioner who first began practicing in 1996 at the age of 13.
When I was five years old, I had many questions about the world. One day I asked my father, who was holding me by the hand, "Dad, do we have a soul when we die?" He stroked my hair and said with a smile, "I don't know, maybe." I persisted, "If we live like this, but there's nothing when we die, wouldn't it be boring?" He laughed and shook his head.
The question lingered in my mind for the next eight years, until I found Dafa.
One day my mother's colleague gave her a copy of the book Zhuan Falun. My mother was afraid that reading the book would take time away from my schooling, so she hid it in a corner of the bookshelf, but I discovered it. I was instantly drawn in by Master's simple but profound words, and the wonderful Fa answered the questions that had nagged me all those years! I cried with excitement and elation and knew this was what I had been looking for! I read Zhuan Falun over the next three days, and the supernatural power and incredible wonders of Dafa left a deep impression on me.
I had always been a sickly child and was constantly afflicted with minor illnesses before age six. My parents' colleagues knew about the "little patient." I had IV infusions and took medications almost on a daily basis, and I befriended nearly all the nurses at the hospital. My mother wore herself out taking care of me. I was having a good time, however, because the nurses played with me. Now I know I was eliminating karma to prepare for obtaining the Fa.
My health improved slightly after I began grade-school. I discovered an interesting phenomenon--my teachers and classmates were the kindest when compared to those in other classes. It was the same throughout middle school and college. I know sentient beings who might be rescued were forging ties with me.
Once I obtained the Fa and learned the reason for being in this world, I tried my best to do well according to the Fa's requirements. I cultivated diligently at school and at home and strictly conducted myself according to the Fa. I earned excellent grades in all of my classes. I was still a child, however, and would sometimes do naughty things, even though I knew they were wrong. I studied the Fa on and off and was not very diligent. Then the persecution began, and I remember it like it was yesterday.
The Chinese Communist Party targeted my mother because she did the Falun Gong exercises in public. One day she came running home with a terrified look on her face, took all our Dafa books and audio and visual materials and was going to turn them in to the authorities. I knew very well that Dafa books are more precious than our own lives, so I stood in front of her and would not let her give up the books. She pushed me away, saying something about "political struggles" and was determined to give them up. In the end, fear and the instinct for self-preservation took over, and I let mother give everything to her superiors at work, except for two pocket-sized copies of Zhuan Falun. The moment she stepped out of the door with the books, I was suddenly overcome with deep, crushing sadness.
Cultivation is serious, as Master reminds us, especially at critical junctures, when a single thought that sides with either Dafa or the evil will determine our future path. The old forces kept me away from Dafa for the next eight years, perhaps because of my thought to protect myself, and give up cultivation.
Fa rectification moved forward at a rapid pace over the next eight years, but I knew nothing about it. It was difficult to study the Fa, so I rarely studied. Yet, the old forces did not relent. I entered high school in 2000, and my health deteriorated, as did my grades. I developed neurogenic gastritis, colitis, and neurasthenia. I couldn't sleep for days on end, but I didn't know it was due to the old forces' persecution. I failed a college entrance exam, so I had to prepare to take the exam again a year later, and barely made it into college. I was exhausted and emaciated and lost faith in life. Dafa's wonders had deep roots in my existence, however, and when I recalled the days when I could freely study Dafa, I became quite emotional.
My college years were unproductive. I acted like an ordinary person and continually played video games and chased girls. I hardly studied. Things changed in April 2007, when a classmate came across a fellow practitioner who explained Falun Gong to him during an Internet chat session. I learned a little about Fa rectification from his words. A voice shouted from the depths of my being, "I want to return to Dafa!"
My heartfelt wish broke the old forces' arrangement of isolation, and I returned to Dafa. Soon afterwards, a practitioner from another city got in touch with me and told me about important things that had happened. She also sent me an electronic version of Zhuan Falun and Master's articles published after 1999.
What happened next will forever remain etched in my memory. As soon as I read Master's articles, tears streamed down my face despite my best effort to rein in the emotions. A wandering mind that had been lost for eight years again found its home in Dafa. After I thought more about it, and I knew that we truly came to this world to save sentient beings according to Dafa's requirements. I studied the Fa whenever I could over the course of five days and read all of Master's articles published from 1999 to 2007. I learned about the Fa rectification and Dafa practitioners' responsibility to save sentient beings.
I was irrational initially and acted with insufficient righteous thoughts, but Master only looked at my desire to save people and protected me. Oftentimes, a police car would rip past me just after I had handed out the last flyer. Once I went out with a fellow practitioner to distribute materials. She was reported but I was spared. When I talked to colleagues about Falun Gong, one person threatened to turn me in, but nothing happened in the end. Master protected me and guided me every step of the way.
I finally found my way home, and I feel keenly how Master does not want to leave any of us behind.
With encouragement from fellow practitioners, I tried to help my mother return to Dafa. I talked to her every day until well into the night and tried to be as patient and kind as possible. She had heavy thought karma. A voice would start cursing in her head as soon as she studied the Fa, and she wanted to give up. I asked her to send righteous thoughts and study "Your Main Consciousness Must Be Strong," from the fifth lecture of Zhuan Falun. She was fearful and didn't want to save sentient beings. I asked her to read Master's articles so she would understand why Dafa practitioners must do the three things well. When she gradually began to study the Fa and do the exercises, she realized she had made a mistake by handing the Dafa books to the officials. She was willing to do the three things. I submitted a solemn statement (a statement that declares past words and actions against Falun Dafa to be null and void) at her request to the Minghui website (Chinese version of Clearwisdom.net) on her behalf.
As I became more diligent, the old forces intensified my tribulations because I had returned to Dafa. Within a short period of time my friends and classmates alienated me, and my girlfriend of more than two years left me. My relatives also pressured me to give up Dafa. My father was furious, declaring he would disown me and kick me out. Mother again became fearful. On top of everything else, my workload suddenly quadrupled. I was in way over my head. I felt completely drained in every possible way.
Fortunately, I never forgot to do the three things, and I remembered my mission as a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. Sometimes when I felt I could no longer bear it, I recited poems from Hong Yin. Actually, every Dafa practitioner has walked a difficult path, and my troubles are nothing compared to others.
As I took everything in stride and eliminated the evil with righteous thoughts, those near me saw the changes in me. They accepted the things I told them, and the pressure on me was reduced. Mother also returned to Dafa with my help, and the "tests" by the old forces fell apart.
It has only been a little over a year since I returned to Dafa, but it feels more like ten years. As a young person who obtained the Fa as a teenager, I made lots of mistakes. I know how hard it is for every practitioner who has persevered so far. Although I returned late, I have saved about 100 people and helped many young practitioners who left Dafa by encouraging them to return. Some couldn't make the decision to overcome or endure tribulations.
It is true that we have to face many problems when we return to Dafa, especially young practitioners who perhaps suffered more mental trauma than adults. Those of us who learned Dafa at a relatively young age and have experienced similar hardships as other practitioners should perhaps shoulder greater responsibilities. We must save more sentient beings. What did we come here for? If we don't cherish Dafa, we will not only let Master down but also ourselves. No one is immune from mistakes on the path of cultivation. We can only strive to be ever more diligent to be worthy of Master's sacrifices.
I wanted to share my experiences to encourage other practitioners. Please, kindly point out anything inappropriate.
