(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner from Guangdong Province. I started practicing Falun Gong four years ago. Before practicing, I lived a horribly bad life. I came to Shenzhen City, Guangdong Province when I was 25. It was a flourishing city, but people were only interested in chasing money. Lured by materialism, I thought that whatever I could do to make money was fine, even if it meant doing illegal or immoral things. The easiest way for a young lady to make quick money was to be a night club girl, hang out with a rich guy and gradually move up. Thus, I wandered among the night clubs, shamelessly accompanying all kinds of people to drink and play. I also slept with customers for dirty money, on two separate occasions.
Two months later, I met the head of a local gang. I became his mistress and started a new lifestyle. I often carried several hundred thousand to a million yuan of cash with me and traveled around with the gang around the country, opening underground casinos. During that period in my life, I saw all the dark side of the human world, including government officials and gangsters colluding, exchange of money for power, gangsters, violence, sex, and drugs, just as Teacher said, "a world full of sin and venom" ("Clarity of Mind," Hong Yin). The higher level an official was, the darker, greedier and more sinister he became.
For more than two years, I lived a dirty and corrupt life. People envied me for wearing brand-name clothes and watches, riding in luxurious cars, traveling around the world, and being surrounded by body guards. I also thought that I had reached the ultimate goal of my life.
Since I hadn't found a man I truly loved, I had indecent relationships with other men in exchange for money. Some of those people were even of my father's age. My health deteriorated. I had several sexual illnesses and women's illnesses. My period would last for half a month each time I had it. I had to spend a lot of money on it, to try and control the situation.
In 2001, I met my husband by accident. He was very humorous, sunny, and had good moral standards. I suddenly learned that there was a completely different way of living. I decided to grab this rare opportunity to start a new life for myself. So I left the gangster leader and married my husband. We settled down and I gradually forgot the shadows and bad ways of thinking I had developed in my earlier life.
At the end of 2004, a friend introduced me to Zhuan Falun. I read the book once. But since my xinxing was too low, I didn't understand what Dafa was. My family was against me practicing Falun Gong, so I gave it up. I wasted one and a half year before I came back to Dafa again.
During that one and a half years, I felt there was always some voice inside my mind, constantly calling me to cultivate. Whenever I had a big xinxing problem and was about to do something wrong, Dafa would come to me. Either someone clarified the truth of Dafa to me, told me miraculous stories of Dafa, or gave me Dafa books. That made me want to cultivate once again. Finally, in May 2006, I started cultivation and became a Dafa disciple.
When I first started cultivation, I experienced great changes in my body. When my body was being cleansed, just as Teacher said, my bones were all black. I could clearly see that every joint emitted black stuff. My leg was extremely painful from heel to knee, that made me unable to sleep at night. The pain eased only when I sat in meditation, but the legs were still painful and numb and I also had back pain. Four days later, the pain was reduced. After half a month, all the black stuff from my joints was gone and my bones were no longer painful. I felt that my body was as light as a bird. For so many years, this was the first time for me to experience the feeling of having no illness. I was very happy and excited.
One night last summer, my hand started getting itchy and then whole body became itchy. When I got up in the morning, I saw red swelling all over my body, and everything was extremely itchy. I knew this was another karmic elimination time arranged by Teacher. In the afternoon, my head also had welts. My face was full of it, even my eyes and ears were itchy. Every piece of hair felt heavy, full of karma. Both my eyes were red, even my eyelids swelled. My feet and private parts swollen too. My whole body was hot, as if I had a high fever. But I had a very strong righteous thoughts. I knew it was to eliminate the karma, so I had no fear at all. The next afternoon, the symptoms were improving and there were only small sections of swelling on my body. I was completely recovered on the third day.
My husband and I are very nice to each other. We had never said a single bad word to hurt each other. Thus my sentiment towards my husband was a weak point with me. I felt that I could lose anything, except my husband. My husband often went on business trips, normally for two weeks or one month. But last year he was gone for nine months. I was at home all by myself. I felt very uncomfortable for the first few months. There was no one at home to talk to. The only thing that could make sound was the television. Then I thought that if this was arranged by Teacher, there must be something for me to become enlightened to. I resolved to put my whole heart into Fa study and everything would work out. Others couldn't even dream about getting an environment like this to study the Fa.
Thus I spent a lot of time to study the Fa. Now looking back, I suddenly understood. During that time, I gave up my desire for money, attachment to fame and personal interest, pursuit for brand-name and high-end materials (I didn't need to dress up since I stayed at home), impatience with my loneliness, attachment to sex, and most importantly, the emotional dependence on my husband. Now when he takes business trips, no matter how long the duration is, I am no longer longing for him to come back as I was before. On the contrary, I feel it is so nice to have a Fa study environment without anyone to interrupt me.
There are many miracles in my cultivation, too. I think it is not accidental for anyone to cultivate in the Fa. Even the time they started is not accidental. There must be reasons for me to cultivate Dafa after committing so many crimes in my life. Isn't Teacher continually extending the Fa-rectification time to allow us to fulfill our prehistoric vows? Whenever I think of the crimes that I committed in the past, and not doing the three things well, due to strong human attachments, I feel ashamed to face Teacher.
I am very grateful for Teacher's benevolence, saving of me from hell and cleansing me. Though I still have many human attachments and notions, and some I haven't even realized yet, the only thing I want to do now is to give myself to Teacher and to Dafa. Rectifying myself while doing the three things, walking the path arranged by Teacher and following Teacher home, this is what I want most sincerely.
Heshi!
