(Clearwisdom.net) I'd like to tell Teacher about the following: 1) how I let go of sentimentality for my family, 2) how I reached everyone that I was able to reach to clarify the truth, and 3) how I participated in rescuing fellow practitioners.
Examining Every Thought
A few years ago I was cultivating despite being faced with many tribulations. I had been detained at forced labor camps and detentions centers a few times and even imprisoned in a mental hospital for more than 40 days. The persecution brought a lot of harm to my family. When I began to cultivate again, I was faced with a lot of interference. Before July 20, 1999, my husband attempted to force me to leave home several times. He dragged me out of bed, beat me, and then poured cold water on my head.
After I was released from prison, he did not allow me to read the Fa, so, I tried not to read the Fa whenever he was around. When he was home I would do the housework. However, my half-hearted agreement to his demands resulted in more restrictions. For example, I would practice the exercises and read the Fa early in the morning. As soon as he woke up, he would order me to tidy up the house or wash clothes, regardless of my Fa study. I looked within and found that when he was about to wake up I could not concentrate on my Fa study. I was fearful that he might create problems for me. The following day he again gave me his standing orders. This time I said with a smile, "You don't need to act that way. You order me to do housework even when you are not busy. It's not that I don't want to do it, the important thing is that it's not fair for you to arrange my schedule. What's more, I used my rest or recreational time to do the exercises." After that he no longer interfered with my Fa study.
We need to overcome the obstacles that keep us from going to group Fa study. Some fellow practitioners went to Fa study covertly and would lie when going out to clarify the truth or to group Fa study. This was related to their personal cultivation. I think it is also an issue of believing in Teacher and the Fa.
Teacher said,
"Even people's claim that they have evolved from apes is able to be highly regarded. Yet with this great Dafa of the universe, you are embarrassed to give it a correct position--this is human beings' true shame." ("Environment" from Essentials for Further Advancement)
One day a fellow practitioner phoned to give me some truth clarification materials. I hesitated at first but then rectified my thought very quickly and replied righteously and nobly. I then told my husband that I needed to go out. He said, "If you dare to go out, don't come back!" While saying this he opened the door. I thought, "It's very cold outside. I need to wear more clothes just in case he does not let me in. No, this thought is not right. I will come back!" After I picked up the materials I rushed back home. I was thinking about where I should go when, on second thought, I said to myself, "I must go home. I should not let him control me--I must make a breakthrough."
I begged Teacher to support me and went back with righteous thoughts. On my way home I kept ringing my husband on the regular phone and his cell phone. He did not answer. On arriving at home I knocked at the door, but he refused to open it. I let go of the fear mentality that my neighbors might hear and continued to knock. He asked when he opened the door, "Didn't you say you were not coming back?" I said, "You would be lonely if I did not come back." Our family environment got better and better. Now on the day of group Fa study I tell him before I leave for work, "I am going to study the Fa with the group. You'd better come home early and cook dinner." On my way home from work I clarify the truth or validate the Fa so there is no set time for my arriving home. Occasionally when I come home early, he says, "You go to the Fa study today."
Clarifying the Truth to Everyone
I always bring along truth-clarification materials and copies of the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party. After talking to people, I give them some truth-clarification materials about things I don't get to cover in the conversation. I ask them to pass on the materials to their friends and relatives. For those I really do not have the time to talk to or those who do not want to listen, I give them materials and send forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the interference and evil factors that keep them from accepting Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance. I talk to whomever I meet and often they give me their addresses or phone numbers in the hope I will send them more information.
One day on my way back from another county, I got on an almost full bus. It looked like it was a family-owned bus company, so I thought it would be a good opportunity to clarify the truth. I took out some money with truth clarification messages written on it to buy the ticket. The conductor said, "I do not accept money with words on it." I took the opportunity to explain the truth to her and asked her to do the "three withdrawals." I gave her a very graceful pseudonym, but her answer was not that happy so I decided to put it aside. Just then a man sitting in a front seat turned around and asked to see the paper money with the message on it. I explained to him about the content and he gave me a five-yuan note to exchange for mine. I was happy for his wise choice. Then, I began to chat with the passengers near me. Some explained that they could not read or write. It just so happened that I had brought with me some Clearwisdom pictures, so I gave them the pictures. The atmosphere was very peaceful and compassionate.
I just did not want to miss this good opportunity, so I handed out all the pictures I had brought along and clarified the truth about Falun Gong and the persecution. Some passengers seemed to understand what I said and listened silently. They also paid attention to their personal safety. On leaving the bus they all put the truth-clarification materials into their pockets or bags. I was happy for their awakening.
Only a few minutes were left before I would get off the bus. I stood next to the driver. Looking at him, I felt that I should not leave him behind. However, I had distributed all the truth-clarification materials. Then I came up with a good solution. I gave the driver a one-yuan note and said, "Big Brother, it's a predestined relationship for me to ride on your bus, so I am giving you this truth clarification note and hope you can cherish it and drive safely. You can show it to more people and you will receive blessings." The driver picked up the note and said very happily, "I won't give it to anybody--I will keep it as a treasure." When I raised the issue of the "three withdrawals," he said he had never joined any of the Party organizations. The people on the bus looked at him with envy and approval. The atmosphere affected the conductor, who withdrew from the Youth League gladly. I turned around and said, "Big Sister, I will remember to help you to quit the Youth League." She said with a smile, "That's great!" I got off the bus and was grateful that Teacher had provided me with such a good environment for saving sentient beings.
We must seize the time to clarify the truth, maintain a sense of urgency to save sentient beings, put sentient beings above everything else, let go of the mentality of accomplishing a task, purify our minds, let go of the need for self protection and the mentality of worrying about this and that. This actually reflects what Teacher said in Zhuan Falun: "One's gong level is as high as one's xinxing level." At that time your wisdom will flow in an endless stream.
Taking Fellow Practitioners' Tasks as Mine
Since I stopped cultivating for some time, my moral standards fell to those of humankind. I thought that since I could not be a good person anymore, I would seek material enjoyment. Only when I read Teacher's recent articles did I begin to cultivate once again. However, fellow practitioners did not trust me or want to have any contact with me. I thought it was because I had failed to do a good job in my cultivation, so I tried to make better use of the good working environment to do the three things well. Later, I found that rescuing fellow practitioners was a priority and without any takers. I took on this task and spent almost all of my spare time in judicial offices, including the police department, the procuratorate, and the court. I would go to these places, the detention centers, and practitioners' homes. I needed to find firsthand materials and send them out as quickly as possible. During the process I always looked within.
One day, a shop belonging to two practitioners, husband and wife, was locked up by police. The husband was arrested and taken to a forced labor camp. His wife went to the local National Security Division to request his release. We cooperated with her by sending forth righteous thoughts outside the division office. However, the wife was also detained. We looked inward and found that when the practitioner went in, our thoughts were not righteous. Some practitioners thought that the couple was persecuted because they had problems in their business; some thought it was a bit strange that he was taken immediately to the forced labor camp instead of a detention center; some thought she should not have gone to the police seeking her husband's release since she had just exposed the evil acts on the Internet; and still others thought that what had been publicized on the Internet should not have included so many details.
We calmed down and measured our actions against the Fa and enlightened that Teacher would not discard a practitioner because he/she had some kind of problem. Regarding the persecution by the evildoers, we had already formed a concept, i.e., arrest, detention center, forced labor camp, and being sentenced. Even when the order changed we would notice, but we failed to think that the evildoers were not qualified to detain us. There was nothing wrong with exposing the evildoers. Even if there was something not right, the evildoers still were not qualified to detain us. When it was time for lunch, practitioners who were sending forth righteous thoughts got distracted. Some thought it was time to go home, and some had to go to the school to pick up their children. Within a short time, almost everyone had left. Some practitioners had their tires slashed twice, but still did not enlighten to it. They all knew that a fellow practitioner was detained inside, so why did they leave instead of taking her task as theirs? They were thus taken advantage of. The police at the National Security Division did not allow the practitioner to leave. Its manifestation on the surface was that they forced her to tell them who published the information on the Internet. I did not criticize or complain about the fellow practitioners like I had done in the past. Instead, I expressed my understanding and tolerance. At noon we ate our lunch while continuously sending forth righteous thoughts.
After having pinpointed the above-mentioned factors, my mind was very pure and righteous and I felt the energy field was extremely strong. I asked Teacher to support us. I thought that even if some practitioners went home because of family responsibilities, the remaining practitioners were still able to rescue the detained practitioner. As a result, the practitioner who was detained in the National Security Division suddenly had a thought, "Why should I stay here for?" She walked out of the division building and no one stopped her. She returned home safely.
The evildoers like to go to places that everyday people think are dangerous, and these were the places I visited. With the support of Teacher I went to the prisons or the court to meet the practitioners who had been illegally detained. Sometimes I really thought that I could distribute the truth-clarification materials to each of the households more safely. However, my path of cultivation was arranged by Teacher. I enlightened that my thought was actually an attachment of self protection and an acknowledgment of the evil persecution.
I walked steadily on my cultivation path and looked inward whenever I encountered a problem. In hearing practitioners' comments about me, I would think that my own dimensional field was not pure so I had no complaints and no hatred against them. At the beginning I thanked them for helping me to eliminate karma and improve my xinxing. Later I thought I would not like the fellow practitioners to loose their virtue for me and I would not allow them to do the things that would make the evildoers happy. The evildoers would like to split us apart, so that they could get what they wanted. At the same time I looked deeply within to look for attachments and had an article published that exposed these attachments. I felt that I had flown to the highest heavens. The feeling was beyond description.
When rescuing the fellow practitioners we never had enough manpower. Looking inward, I found that there were factors of validating myself as well as the attachments to showing-off and the feeling that I was great. After watching "Fa Teaching Given to the Australian Practitioners" I enlightened that was the path we had taken. When other practitioners said you were a spy, then you just went to distribute fliers. That's what I had done over the past years. There was no explanation, no complaint, I just did whatever I could do. In this way I gradually won the trust of fellow practitioners. Now I still play that role, but behind me was an indestructible one body.
Now I made some breakthrough in clarifying the truth to lawyers. A dozen or so cases are in progress. I used this method to form a united body so as to rescue fellow practitioners more effectively and save more sentient beings. I am grateful to Teacher who made the special arrangements for me.
Every step on my path of cultivation and every bit of progress that I have made have all been under Teacher's compassionate care. When you truly cultivate, you can really feel extremely happy to be cultivating in Dafa and feel the loftiness of Dafa.
I will be more diligent in my cultivation and return home with Teacher.
Please kindly help me understand any shortcomings I may have.