(Clearwisdom.net) What a difficult path we have walked under this storm cloud of persecution! At the thought of there being still so many sentient beings that haven't been saved, I feel disheartened. As Dafa disciples during the Fa-rectification period, how can we assimilate to and harmonize with Master's wishes? How can we righteously travel the path that Master has arranged for us? I would like to report my cultivation experience during the past years to Master and share it with fellow practitioners.
1. Upgrading Xinxing While Validating the Fa, Dafa Shows Its Divine Power
On December 26, 2008, I fell off of a high stool when I was cleaning my house. My face and mouth were injured because I didn't have enough righteous thoughts after my fall. Before this incident, I had already made an appointment with a fellow practitioner to go out to distribute truth-clarifying materials and post "Falun Dafa is good" messages. Feeling the pain in my face, mouth, and legs, and considering that the location we had planned to go was so far away, I didn't want to go that night and hoped that another practitioner would go in my place. But other fellow practitioners had things to do--how could I be so selfish? I needed to overcome this tribulation no matter how difficult it was. Pondering it over and over again, I finally went to the fellow practitioner's home. She was making dumplings with her daughter-in-law when I entered her house. She was shocked at the first sight of me and asked what had happened. After I told her the whole incident, she said, "We haven't finished making dumplings, so we can't go today. Let's do it tomorrow evening." I felt very sad and disappointed. I thought to myself, "I still came even with my difficulties. Can't you finish that ordinary task later? Is there anything that is more important than validating the Fa and saving sentient beings?" I left without saying anything more to her. Many thoughts of how wrong she was raced through my mind on the way home. After I got home, I started to think about why I couldn't be tolerant with that fellow practitioner. She had her own inconveniences! She was making dumplings with her daughter-in-law, and she was worried about hurting her daughter-in-law's feelings if she left. She could consider another's feelings, why didn't I have any consideration for her? How selfish that thought was. I was using the excuse of validating the Fa to hide my selfishness. When I dropped that selfish thought, I felt relaxed at once.
The following night, I again went to her house even though I was still in pain. As soon as I entered, she asked me unceremoniously, "Why did you come so late?" As we walked to our destination, the piercing wind aggravated my face and mouth, causing much pain in addition to the pain in my legs. As a result, I couldn't walk very fast. The other practitioner said to me angrily, "You shouldn't have come with me since you are so slow. I will look for other practitioners." I agreed. Then she paused for a second and told me, "Well, I guess you'll have to go with me now." Immediately, unrighteous thoughts surfaced. However, I realized at once that I was wrong. Since I was going to validate the Fa and save sentient beings, I shouldn't have ordinary people's emotions and thoughts--I should eliminate them as soon as possible. After we both arrived at our destination, she pasted up the posters and I sent forth righteous thoughts with flyers and truth-clarifying materials in my hands. Watching the her paste up those materials in the cold wind, I sincerely admired her. At last, we successfully finished what we had set out to do. On our way home, she accidentally hit my mouth. It felt as if I had been stabbed in the mouth with a knife. The next morning, my husband noticed with surprise that my face and mouth had recovered. I realized that it was Dafa that showed its divine power because I upgraded my xinxing as I validated the Fa.
2. Upgrading Xinxing to Balance Family Relations Well
I obtained the Fa in 1998. Since I had been badly poisoned by the culture of the evil Party, from an early age I had harbored vanity, jealousy, a need to retaliate, competitiveness, and a petty mind. Moreover, these bad things were deeply rooted in my mind. Once I encountered any trouble, it would negatively affect my family relationships. This year, my sister-in-law visited us again with her child. Both of them have hot tempers. I lived with my mother-in-law, so I didn't want them to come. At that time, I floundered, my thoughts were jumbled, and I couldn't calm down to study the Fa, which directly affected my face-to-face clarifying the truth to save sentient beings. Later, fellow practitioners came to exchange experiences according to the Fa with me. Afterwards, I felt a little more relaxed and didn't hate my sister-in-law and her child after returning home.
That afternoon, my mother-in-law cursed and swore at me in front of my sister-in-law because of what I had fixed for the child to eat. Her words were merciless and terrible. Although I endured it at the time, they still lodged in my heart. How could I let my mother-in-law scold me like that in front of my sister-in-law? Evil thoughts of retaliation appeared in my mind. Returning home, the attachment of vanity caused me to feel embarrassed in front of my sister-in-law. It was so painful that I hated my mother-in-law even more. This emotion also affected my ability to clarify the truth. Seeing myself drop down, I realized I could not go on like that anymore. How important it is to save sentient beings now! I decided to cultivate it away. Once I decided to get rid of that attachment, I felt troubled. I told the attachment in my heart, "Go to hell! You are the trouble, rather than me." Once I identified it, I felt relaxed at once. After a period of hard cultivation, I changed my attitude towards my mother-in-law. Since then, whenever this bad element appeared in my mind, I would identify it and get rid of it at once. Now I have gained a rapport with my sister-in-law and mother-in-law.
3. Let Go of Fear to Save Sentient Beings
As the Beijing Olympic Games approached, my local environment was as evil as it was on July 20, 1999, which caused enormous pressure for fellow practitioners, as well as me, since I went to the railway station, bus station, and two-yuan shops to clarify the truth face to face every day. Sometimes I distributed truth-clarifying materials with a fellow practitioner. Due to her absence because she needed to go other places, she arranged for another practitioner to be my partner. However, my new partner couldn't help me anymore after that one time because her family stopped her from going out in the evenings. So I had to distribute the materials by myself. One day, a fellow practitioner came to remind me that I should pay attention to safety both during the day and at night, and that it was best for me not to go out too late. I felt a little pressure after hearing that and considered, "Which one should I pay attention to? My own safety or saving sentient beings?" After an internal struggle, I finally let go of my fear and chose to save sentient beings.
That evening, there was light rain falling. I took truth-clarifying materials and discs to a building building in a residential area. I distributed materials beginning on the fifth floor of the first building, which was located in the last row. I posted the discs on the residential doors, put the materials in with the antithetical couplet, and asked Master for help. Under Master's compassionate care, I successfully distributed materials to twenty-five floors and returned safely.
Nowadays, I persevere in doing the three things that I should do. Under the care of Master and the wide scope of Buddha's grace, I have walked safely to this day.
