A practitioner from Boston

July 2000

I am a practitioner from Boston. I work at a medical research institute of Harvard University. Today, I'd like to share with you my cultivation experience in the process of petitioning during a recent trip back to China.

Since July 22 of last year, every time I read the articles about courageous practitioners in China risking their lives to petition to the government for justice, I was often moved to tears. I too had the thought of going back to petition. My mother became critically ill in March. She started to practice Falun Gong in June 1999, and after only one month of cultivation, the illnesses that she had been suffering from, such as lung cancer, high-blood pressure, and diabetes all disappeared. Due to the suppression by the Chinese government, however, she stopped practicing Falun Gong. In order to help her understand the teachings of Falun Dafa better and resume her cultivation, I decided to go back and talk to her face to face. This would also be a chance to let people know the righteousness of Falun Dafa.

Since I decided to go back, I also decided to make a petition to the government and say a few just words for my belief and my Teacher, Mr. Li Hongzhi. My Teacher is being so maliciously slandered, and my belief is being so brutally suppressed. I felt that it was my moral obligation to defend what I believe in.

Once I made my decision, I started preparing for my trip. As soon as I decided to petition, however, I discovered that I had a lot of weaknesses and attachments. If I were not allowed to come back from China, it would be very difficult for my wife to take care of our child all by herself. I also thought about my mother, who was critically ill. If I was detained or imprisoned, would she be able to take the blow? Only then did I truly realize how difficult it is to step forward for justice! I also truly came to understand the courage of those practitioners in China who repeatedly went to petition. I decided that I must overcome all the difficulties ahead of me to speak out for Falun Dafa.

On my journey back to China, I used every opportunity to let people know the facts about Falun Dafa. On the airplane, I met a Chinese immigrant from Canada who was going back to visit his relatives in China. He said skeptically that his mother also practiced Falun Gong but her high-blood pressure still wasn't reduced. After some inquiry, I learned that his mother was only practicing the movements of the exercises and without improving her Xinxing (heart quality, moral character) by following the teachings of Falun Dafa. I patiently explained to him the importance of cultivating Xinxing in the practice of Falun Gong. He became very interested after hearing this and was very grateful. He said that he would definitely tell his mother to seriously study Falun Dafa. This made me realize that in order to validate Falun Dafa, we, Falun Dafa practitioners must first rectify our own hearts.

When I arrived home, I was saddened to see how my mother was suffering. My mother told me that before the government banned Falun Gong, they had been going to the park every morning at 4 o'clock to practice Falun Gong exercises. Sometimes they encountered heavy rain during practice, but all of the nearly one thousand practitioners continued the exercises until the end. They all felt very energetic after the exercises, and nobody got sick. But now, some stopped practicing under the great pressure from the government. Many were practicing privately at home. Those who were brave enough to petition the government to stop the crackdown had been detained, beaten, or sent to labor camps. Many people's telephones were bugged. Many people were under surveillance, and so on. These things really shook me up and made me truly come to realize the severe damage to the cultivation environment in Mainland China and the extent of evilness of the suppression by the government! I couldn't help thinking: with such evil people, was it still necessary to petition? Immediately, I realized that it was exactly because the persecutions were so evil that it was even more necessary to step forward and say a few just words for Falun Dafa, and for our Teacher.

After a week of studying the teachings of Falun Dafa and doing the exercises, my mother's physical condition visibly improved, and she could sit in the lotus position for nearly an hour. At this point a variety of different thoughts again came to my mind. I was thinking that since she just resumed cultivation, what she needed most was my staying by her side. If I left her now, it was possible that we would part forever. "Perhaps I can postpone the petition and go at some other time?" My heart suddenly calmed down. I understood that my mother had to walk her own path. When my mother learned that I was leaving so soon, she began crying but immediately she calmed down since, after all, she was a Falun Gong practitioner. She said, "You go ahead and leave. I am all right. I will listen to the recordings of Teacher's lectures everyday and persist in practicing the exercises." I read to her a few more articles by Teacher, and she became calm and convinced.

I planned to leave for Beijing on April 11th, 2000 and petition on the 12th. The night before I left, I received a call from my wife in US. She told me the news that starting from the 12th, the Chinese government was going to start another round of even more severe persecutions against Falun Gong practitioners, since it was approaching April 25^th, the first anniversary of the Zhongnanhai appeal. I was determined to petition. I told her not to worry about me, and that nothing would happen to me. The morning of the 11th, I said farewell to my mother and set off on a flight to Beijing. Throughout the journey, I was only thinking about how I must go and say a few just words for my belief and my Teacher.

Arriving in Beijing, I wanted to go to Tiananmen Square to see if there were any fellow practitioners. After dinner, I left Xidan and walked toward Tiananmen Square along the Chang'an Boulevard. As I was walking, I recited "Lun Yu" (the preface of Zhuan Falun) loudly. I raised my head, straightened my back, and walked forward in big strides. I noticed that very few people from the bustling crowd noticed me. When I passed by the entrance to Zhongnanhai, none of the plain clothed policemen or guards bothered me either. When I reached the Golden-Water Bridge in the Tiananmen Square, I finished reciting. I looked around and then walked toward Tiananmen Square again. I noticed the heavy presence of police and plain-clothed police in the square. At that time, I was thinking, "I'm going to go ahead regardless." So I started reciting "Lun Yu" loudly again and walked with big strides toward the monument. At that time, I felt that I was so tall and full of strength. Reaching the eastside of the monument, I saw a policeman walking towards me and I could not help lowering my voice. Then, I immediately realized that this was caused by my fear. I am a practitioner of the sacred Falun Dafa, why should I be afraid of him! So I raised my voice and recited again. Then I saw the policeman turn his head toward another direction and walk away.

As I walked to the front of the monument, I finished reciting. Then a cameraman came to me and asked whether I wanted to have a picture taken. I did not feel like having pictures taken at that moment, so I did not pay any attention to him. When he walked past me, I had a second thought: is this Teacher testing me to see whether or not I would dare to have a picture taken while doing the exercises in Tiananmen Square? Just as I was thinking about this, the man walked back again, inquiring whether I wanted to have a picture taken. This time, without hesitation I said, "Yes." He suggested to me that I have pictures taken both in front of the monument and Tiananmen. I agreed and told him to take the pictures no matter what postures I would take. When he was ready to take pictures, I started to practice the standing stance exercise. After taking the picture, he was shocked and stared at me speechlessly for a long time. He then said: "Sir, you can't be that way. For the next picture, don't do that again. You can take just a normal one." I told him that as a Falun Gong practitioner, if I did not have pictures taken of practicing Falun Gong here, it would make no sense to take pictures at all. He was silent for a moment, then talked to me with emotion: "I respect very much you cultivators." Then he added firmly: "I will take the picture for you." Thus we went to the front of Tiananmen and took a picture of me doing the standing stance exercises. However, this time, since he was nervous, he took the picture when my arms were just raised to as high as my face. But even so, his action gave me a great deal of encouragement, and enabled me to see the good side of people. The efforts made by thousands of practitioners, wave after wave, to defend Falun Dafa had already established the great image of Falun Dafa.

The next morning, I set out without taking anything with me. For convenience, I called a taxi. The taxi driver politely invited me into the car. Yet as soon as I told him that I was going to "The National Appealing Office," the driver was astonished and replied: "Sorry, Sir, I have never been there. I don't know the way. Could you please find someone else?" So I had to get off the car. I could not believe that people were so afraid of going there. So I called another taxi. This time I did not say where I was going as I got into the car. After the car ran for a while, I told the driver that I was going to the National Appealing Office. This driver too was shocked for a moment and then he said that he knew an "appealing office" where there were many policemen and police cars waiting outside. There were people going there to appeal. He then asked me whether I was going there. I told him, "That is just the place that I want to go to." On the way to the appealing office, he talked about how harsh the policemen were. Anybody who heard it would have felt what a terrible experience it would be to go to the appealing office. From talking to him I became more relaxed and at ease. When we got to the corner of the street where the appealing office was, the driver told me, "The appealing office is right in that alley. It wouldn't be convenient to drive in." So I got off the car to walk there by myself.

At the street entrance, I saw that many police cars of various kinds were parked there. Policemen as well as those in plain clothes were everywhere at both sides of the street. Each looked at people with frowning brows and angry eyes. The small alley was completely blocked. They yelled at everyone passing by, examining IDs. The harsh attitude made everyone's hair stand on end and the atmosphere was tense. I asked one elderly man sitting at the side of the street what had caused this. The old man said that it was all for arresting those who appealed for Falun Gong. Another elderly man said angrily: "Was there any day that passed without beating and arresting people? Just to prohibit Falun Gong? Why do they make such a great effort? If people are not allowed to appeal, this office should not have been opened."

I ignored the policemen, and walked into the street with no fear or hesitation. I walked for some distance, but no one asked me about anything. I felt curious and so instinctively turned around and looked at the policemen watching at the sides of the alley. Not only didn't they question me but they also greeted me by nodding. I felt it was really funny, and thought that, as I was a Falun Dafa practitioner, they should really greet me.

I walked about 10 minutes until I got to the gate of the Appealing Office. There were three policemen at each side of the gate questioning people. One policeman sat on a small chair in front of the gate to block the way. People must show their IDs and explain the reasons for their appeals before they were allowed entrance. According to people nearby it was to prevent Falun Gong practitioners from getting in. I entered directly disregarding the policemen and no one questioned me either. All who made appeal must show their IDs at the window and get an application form. After filling the form they then went back to the window to register for an appointment. Yet there were only five windows, but several hundred petitioners. Lines were long. While I was waiting in line, a person behind me who looked like a farmer fearfully said in a low voice: just now petitioners for Falun Gong were beaten and arrested at the gate. The person in front of me who looked like a clerk started talking about how bad Falun Gong was. I asked him if he had ever learned or practiced Falun Gong, if he had ever read the books of Falun Gong, and if he had ever met Falun Gong practitioners. He said no, and that he got the information from the newspaper and TV. I told him that Falun Gong was not like what the government depicted, but he still did not believe. This made me realize that as the government fabricated stories, slandered Falun Dafa and fooled people with propaganda, many people who did not know the truth were indeed deceived. I felt deeply that it was an important responsibility of a practitioner to defend the innocence of Falun Dafa and our Teacher.

Finally it was my turn in the line. I was a bit happy and also a bit nervous. I started thinking about how to get ready to handle the test that was about to start. But suddenly, "Bang", the window was rudely shut and a sentence was yelled out: "It is time for break, come back after 2:00PM." At that time I thought that at last it was my turn but the window was shut in front of my face. Should I go home or come back in the afternoon? I thought I should stay to make a just statement for my belief.

At 2:00PM in the afternoon when I entered the lobby, the long lines were there again. According to my experience this morning, it would be difficult to get an application form even if I waited in line till the evening. I was worried. What should I do? I came in and went out several times. No one had questioned me, and the policemen seeing me either walked away or nodded to me. Was it that I really should not appeal? But when thinking about leaving, I always felt a sense of guilt that was hard to describe. Just then, a person who came from Tianjin City to appeal for unemployment issue said loudly: "There are really those with courage. Just now I saw a Falun Gong practitioner at the gate. The policemen asked her what she was here for. She answered that she was here to appeal for Falun Gong. The policemen asked: "Do you know that Falun Gong practitioners are not allowed to appeal?" She answered with no fear: "I do not know." I turned around and asked him what happened later. He said: "She was taken away by the policemen." I realized at once upon hearing this that if I really wanted to appeal I should have the courage to go directly to the policemen. Why did I need to stand in line? I thought I had been busy for the whole day, but just did not have enough courage. I felt firm and sure now. I immediately knocked on the door of the supervisor's office and stepped in. A person who seemed to be in charge came to assist me politely. I asked him if we must stand in line and get application forms. He asked what I appealed for. I said I appealed for the issue of Falun Gong. He became unfriendly immediately and said: "For Falun Gong you do not need to stand in line." He took me at once to a police office. A policeman there told me rudely to stand at the corridor at the entrance of the building. He ordered me to stand still and not to talk. From the moment I entered this door I felt completely relieved.

Also standing there was another practitioner who came to appeal from Northeastern China. She looked calm and peaceful. I realized that she must be the one who was praised as being courageous by the person from Tianjin.

Later, another four practitioners came in. They were all happy that they could step out to defend their beliefs. Especially, there came an old practitioner about 60 years old, from the countryside, with a young practitioner about 20 years old. When they entered the room, they were so calm, so relaxed, and so firm. It seemed as if they were invited guests. They were so admirable.

We introduced ourselves to each other, and started to exchange experiences. When they learned that I came from US, they were all delighted. I told them that there were many people practicing Falun Dafa in many countries around the world and that practitioners from all the countries were doing their best to introduce Falun Dafa to local people. They also went to the United Nations and the Capital Hill to ask for help. More and more people around the world were getting to know Falun Dafa and supported the human rights of the Chinese practitioners. The practitioners were all encouraged upon hearing my account. They also told me the situation in Mainland China. More and more practitioners understood that they should step out for justice and truth. We all felt that it was glorious and sacred to be able to defend Falun Dafa.

Not long after, a policeman came to interrogate us and write down everyone's personal information. Though his attitude appeared very rude, his words revealed his concern and respect. It showed the effects of the efforts of mainland practitioners who stepped forward to defend Falun Dafa wave upon wave.

After that, the policeman gave each of us a form to write down our reasons for appealing. I wrote down: From the experience of my family and myself practicing Falun Dafa for two years, I can assure that Falun Dafa is the righteous cultivation practice. It can raise one's moral standard, and keep one fit; it has great benefits for society and individuals as well. It does not have an organization or any religious formalities. I would like to appeal for the following: 1. Restore the reputation of Falun Dafa and Teacher Li Hongzhi. 2. Revoke the arrest warrant for Teacher Li. 3. Reinstate the rights of free assembly for Falun Gong, lift bans on the publication of Falun Dafa books, and return to people the rights to practice Falun Dafa.

Around 5PM in the afternoon, another policeman came to lead me to the police station. This man looked kind and amiable. On the way, I tried to talk to him about Falun Dafa. Though he did not respond much, he showed his concern. Gradually, as we were talking and talking, he started to express his opinions on the negative side of the current society. He said that police should not mistreat Falun Gong practitioners. He also said that he respected those practitioners who had come out to appeal to the government. I realized that Falun Dafa had already entered people's hearts and I also saw the kind side of human beings. At last, as he felt happy talking with me, he invited me to dinner. I was moved. This was his attitude towards Falun Dafa, so maybe he had predestined affinity with Falun Dafa. I agreed to have dinner with him, but insisted that I should pay the bill. During the dinner, I had more time to talk to him about Falun Dafa. I related to him my family's experiences of practicing cultivation. He got very interested in learning Falun Dafa, and said that he would like to read the book Zhuan Falun. Then he let me go.

Reflecting upon the whole process of my appealing, it was also a process of my cultivation. Each step was a test that revealed the attachments buried deep in my heart. It is through such tests that one purifies ones heart and improves ones Xinxing (moral character).