My name is Jimmy Zou. I came to study in American in 1986 and got my Ph.D in Mathematics in 1990. In 1991, I developed a sustained headache. I tried various treatments including Chinese medicine, Western medicine, qi-gong and surgical operations. But all treatments failed. I had to quit my job as an actuary in 1996 because of the sustained headache. In August 1996, I started to practice Falun Gong. In three months, my symptom was gone without any medical treatment. Falun Gong helped me to recover from my illness and go back to work. Today, I am healthy and work for the Pension Benefit Guarantee Corporation as an actuary.

In July 1999, the Chinese government denounced Falun Gong as "an illegal organization", and since then, they have been ruthlessly persecuting tens of millions of Falun Gong practitioners. I have closely followed the news about Falun Gong and practitioners in China everyday. I was also involved actively in the activities of calling on the US Government and international organizations helping Falun Gong practitioners in China. In November, when I heard that some practitioners were going to China to support practitioners there, I also wanted to go to China. But I had some worries. I just started a new job in the US government a month ago, with flexible hours and many holidays, and it is good for me to do more things for the protection and spreading of Fa. There is no vacation time at the start of the job, it is not for sure that I can come back to work in time once back in China. It is possible to lose the job and normal cultivation environment. Through studying Fa and cultivation experience of practitioners in mainland China, I felt that my worries were based on the thinking for my own cultivation. I need to give up selfishness and think on the basis of Dafa because Dafa belongs to people all over the world. Denouncing Falun Gong as an "evil cult" is the same as declaring practitioners worldwide as "evil." This is not the issue of one country alone. In addition, the environment of direct discussion between mainland China practitioners and practitioners in the rest of the world is also damaged. Under such circumstances, going to China and sharing experience with practitioners there is very good for the protection of Fa. Since going to China is necessary, I can give up everything for it. Practitioners in the mainland China can give up everything they have, even their lives, for the protection of Fa, what can't I let go of?

I went to China in the middle of November and arrived in Beijing. I first met a few Beijing practitioners, and heard that their cultivation environment had been damaged severely. In July, Beijing practitioners often visited each other. Now they stayed home alone and seldom discussed and shared experiences with others. Later I saw practitioners coming to Beijing from other provinces. I went to the place they stayed in a Beijing suburb. Dozens of practitioners lived together in a big room and studied and discussed Fa together everyday. It was a moving scene, and the best cultivation environment. Some of them went to study Fa and practice the exercises at Tiananmen Square in the daytime, some could come back to the room at night and some were detained by cops at the square. A dozen of practitioner were detained everyday, and another dozen new practitioners came to Beijing from other provinces and stayed in the room. Coming and going, there were always about forty practitioners in the room everyday. Some went to the Tiananmen Square directly once they arrived in Beijing. Some studied Fa and shared their experience with other practitioners first, because they felt that they still had some attachments to let go of. They would go out once they felt there was nothing to be feared. Another practitioner from the USA and I joined the discussion with them then. We were moved by their cultivation stories of letting go of the fear for death. They were also encouraged to see practitioners coming from abroad. They said they would bring the news back to their home provinces and encourage more practitioners to stand out.

Later I heard there would be a big activity in Guangzhou, and I reluctantly left Bejing practitioners for Guangzhou. When I arrived at Guangzhou, I knew that there were seventy practitioners coming from various provinces of China and Australia, and they were making preparations for the 1999 Mainland China Guangzhou Falun Gong Experience Sharing Conference. These seventy mainland China practitioners all stood out for the protection of Fa since April, some of them were detained and beaten several times and some were listed as wanted. I was received by a female practitioner from Australia, who volunteered for the conference reception. She told me that these mainland China practitioners, who stood out at the risk of life and limb, were all moved to tears when they knew they were welcomed by a practitioner from Australia. She first accompanied me to the place where mainland China practitioners lived. They first asked me the situation of Falun Gong abroad. I said "practitioners abroad all admire you, you are not only writing your own cultivation history with your lives and establishing moral prestige for Dafa in the human world, but also you are spreading Fa to the people around the world with your lives." Between April and August, the Chinese news media confused right and wrong about Falun Gong, the news media outside China also quoted the official news from the Chinese government. However, people around the world began to know that Falun Gong is not an "evil cult" especially after the Falun Dafa Press Conference in Beijing held by mainland China practitioners last October, and practitioners, one after another, coming to Tiananmen Square for the protection of Fa. The news media around the world showed sympathy for Falun Gong practitioners. There was more and more positive news on Falun Gong around the world. Then every mainland China practitioner in the room told us of his or her experience of going to Beijing for the protection of Fa in the past several months. Their stories moved us deeply. Later we sat in a circle and discussed with each other. The scene of the experience sharing was like a big smelting furnace of cultivation practice. Everyone's xingxing had been upgraded rapidly in the furnace. Though it was not easy to make the trip to China, I felt greatly honoured by sitting in the smelting furnace. In the next few days, mainland China practitioners spent whole days in writing their experience-sharing papers. A room was crowded with dozens of practitioners who were busy in writing down their stories of coming out and giving up life and death for the protection of Fa in the past few months. They tried to write down the realm of their cultivation practice and share with others. When the opening speech and each experience-sharing paper for the Conference were written down, mainland China practitioners and practitioners abroad read each draft paper aloud together. Each draft was read several times. We were all moved to tears by the authors' realm of cultivation while listening to it. It was as if we were sitting in a Kingdom of Heaven and listening to an enlightened being talking about the history of his own cultivation, a great and sacred Fa. We all thought that the Conference had started since the day everybody began writing experience-sharing papers. We had the experience-sharing conference for eight days, not just the last day of the formal meeting. Later, because of the arrests by police, the formal conference was not held. But the experience-sharing papers for the conference have spread quickly worldwide, encouraging more practitioners in China and abroad to find out where they fall short in the cultivation, upgrade themselves quickly and come out for the protection of Fa.

Before the police arrests, I left Guangzhou for Shengzheng to receive reporters for the Conference. From then on I never saw those practitioners who attended the Conference, and lost contact with them. Later on I went back to Guangzhou and found the place where we lived and the hotel where the Conference was going to have been. I spent two days only to find out that they had been arrested by police. So I had to leave Guangzhou for Beijing, looking for mainland China practitioners. On November 30, I went to see the ceremony of relieving sentries for national flag at Tiananmen Square. A policeman asked if I was a Falun Gong practitioner. I did not want to be detained by the police and was not prepared for the situation like that. I hesitated for a second, felt that he was not asking what I was doing there. I felt that he was asking if I was cultivating Falun Dafa. I should tell the truth. So I replied "Yes". Then I was taken into a police car at once. I did not carry my passport with me and knew that I would lose freedom once I walked onto the police car. However, I walked onto the police car with a very peaceful mind. I was sent to Tiananmen Square Police Substation. I refused to answer any questions because I did not do any bad deeds and police had no right to detain me. Then I was beaten, tortured and shocked by electric rod. I also saw eight other mainland China practitioners, including a young lady and an old lady, tortured severely and shocked by electric rods. After being tortured for half an hour, I was detained in a room together with more than fifty practitioners from all over China. They were all eager to find out from me the Falun Gong situation abroad, when they knew that I was from America. I told them how practitioners in America spread and protected Fa, they were all encouraged. The practitioners stood in the front blocked the police's view. We sat and talked in the back of the room. Later the police found us talking. A policeman came into the room and kicked my chest fiercely. Practitioners asked me if I felt painful. I said: "I feel only pressured and numb but not too much pain. It must be Master Li's Fashen who bear it for me."

That night, I was sent to Anhui Province Resident Agency in Beijing. There I was also beaten and tortured for more than an hour for I refused to cooperate with police. Then I was detained in a room together with about thirty Anhui Falun Gong practitioners. I was happy talking to them even though my face was swollen out of shape, and my body had been beaten to the extent that I could not stand up and move around. I heard that there were more and more practitioners from Anhui coming to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong. The fourth day, some practitioners from Fuyang City were sent there. They came to Beijing because they read the experience-sharing papers from 1999 China Guangzhou Falun Gong Conference. It surprised me that the Guangzhou Experience Sharing Conference had such great impact in only a few days. At seven o'clock in the evening, two male practitioners from Fuyang City said that we should practice Falun Gong exercises. Then two of them started practicing the tranquil exercises. I also sat double-cross legged and started practicing together with them. The police saw us and said that it was not allowed to practice Falun Gong exercises in the room. Three of us continued practicing exercises. Then there came six or seven policemen who dragged us out to the hallway by force. They punched us fiercely and punished us. They said we should practice in their ways. Then they forced us to stand facing the wall with our knees bent, and embracing our heads with arms. The policemen would have kicked our legs if our knees were not bent down enough. They thought that I was the person who led the practice. In order to punish me more severely, they found two fire extinguishers each weighted over ten pounds, and forced me to carry them by two hands with my knee bent. I was too tired to carry two fire extinguishers after the policemen tortured me for more than an hour. The policemen forced me to lift the fire extinguishers again every time they slipped out of my hands. The policemen kept torturing us until eleven o'clock at night. Practitioners discussed what had happened after we were released back to the room. They thought practicing Falun Gong exercises is right, if we do everything according to what police has said, it conforms to the ordinary people's principle instead of the principle of higher levels. Our being beaten and tortured is not caused by our own karma, the tribulation is directed against Dafa. Practitioners should bear the hardship together, instead of standing aside with folded arms while seeing other practitioners enduring the hardship.

Every morning, from then on, all the practitioners got up practicing exercises together. At four o'clock early in the morning of the sixth day, shortly after we started practicing exercises, a policeman who was in charge of the whole building walked by and found us practicing. He came into the room, did not allow us to practice, and said that he would beat whoever kept doing the exercises with the baton. He first pushed down a young practitioner of twenty years old by force and wanted to beat him with the baton. I was just sitting double-cross legged by the side of the young practitioner. I felt we should not let the policeman drag the young practitioner out and beat him alone. I put down my double-crossed legs and protected the young practitioner with my body. I said to the policeman "beating people is wrong, we practioners live like this everyday, practicing exercises in the early morning does not interfere with others. This is our personal life, there is nothing against the government." Then three female practitioners came over, and four of us covered the young practitioners with our bodies, saying to the policeman please beat us first because we all practiced the exercises. When the policeman saw the situation, he did not know what to do, he changed his attitude and said "please keep away from him and I would not beat the young man". The policeman did not beat people, instead he punished us. Then more than twenty of us stood up and took the punishment together. When seeing so many people standing up, the policeman felt awkward and stopped bothering us. Later we sat down and shared experience together, the policeman who wanted to beat us and the other one for the morning shift also sat by our side, listening to our discussion. They even asked us a few questions, for example, why we kept practicing Falun Gong exercises and why we came to Beijing to appeal for Falun Gong without fear of severe punishment. We told them our own experiences and the mind and body benefits we got since we practiced Falun Gong. The media stories about Falun Gong confused right and wrong. The central government made a wrong decision treating Falun Gong as "evil cult". To pronounce the truth and justice, Falun Gong practitioners sacrifice personal and family interests coming to Beijing to report the real story of Falun Gong. Among us, there were a family of three practitioners, a retired mother, a son who was working, and a third-year college student daughter who would graduate in half year. A policeman asked them "You will lose your job and the chance to finish the college, how will your family live in the future?" The mother talked about the benefit their family got after practicing Falun Gong, the son may have a small business of repairing electronics on the street in the future. It is good enough if the whole family has money for meals. She also said "if Falun Gong is not that good, why do we sacrifice everything we have and come to Beijing to appeal for it?" The two policemen showed their sympathy after chatting with us. They indicated that they did not understand the fact about Falun Gong before, they had no choice but to fulfill their duties.

On the sixth day, I was sent from Anhui Province Resident Agency to my hometown. My passport was withheld by the local police. For the next two day, the local police interrogated me, and at last let me write a report on my thinking. So I wrote accurately why I went to China, the Chinese government's report on Falun Gong distorted the facts, the wrong decision on Falun Gong made by the Chinese leaders and my hope that Chinese government can correct the mistakes and benefit people. My father thought my report was against the government, and had a fear that my case would not be kept within bounds, and my family, friends and our investment in real estate might be in trouble. So he did not let me hand in the report and let me write a mild report. I explained to my father that this was to tell the truth and kindly explain the truth to the government, it was not against the government. I also said to my father "you told me to be an honest person since my childhood, I cannot lie or be crafty like an ordinary person for my personal and family interests." My father could not take it then and got so angry that he grabbed a wooden bench and came to strike me. I did not protect myself, only wanted to bear it. My father stopped just before the bench reached my body. He would like to break off relations with me and let me leave home. I said nothing, and walked out without looking back and went to County Public Security Bureau directly. I handed in my report of thinking. I knew ordinary people would never understand our practitioners' thought, and was not a bit discontented with my father. I called my father, let him calm down and didn't take it to heart. I explained that the government asked me to write the report based on my own thought, and I would let down my hometown government if I did not write the report accurately.

Later on I returned to America after I got my passport back. Before I came back to America, the government officials and my family members persuaded me repeatedly not to speak about the fact that I had been beaten and tortured by the police. I thought then that it was impossible. Tens of millions of Falun Gong practitioners have been persecuted, tens of thousands of them have been beaten and tortured by the police. Few of them had any chance to speak out the fact to the rest of the world, how could I withhold the fact for the protection of my family and myself? After I came back to America, the State Department and reporters all came to me. I told them my actual experience in China, the Chinese newspaper the World Journal also reprinted the news from the AFP on the torture of Falun Gong practitioners by policemen in China. I feel happy about it. People with a kind heart will distinguish the good from the evil and will have a further understanding of Falun Gong.

I feel that going back to China is just one of the ways to protect Fa under the current situation. Dafa practitioners can protect, perfect and harmonize Dafa under different environments. The way our master arranges for each practitioner may not be the same. If we have a right and pure heart, let go of personal attachments and stand on the basis of Dafa, we will be able to make a little contribution to the protection of Fa.