My first Experiences in Falun Gong

My name is Yvonne Neville Marcotte. Since Ive come upon Falun Gong very thing is changed. Ive been on a spiritual quest all my life. Born into an Irish-German Catholic family in Wisconsin, my parents told me that I could recite the Hail Mary at the age of three. You could say I was spiritually precocious! I remember wanting to be a nun from the age of six. Later on, I did train to become a nun and remained in the religious life until the eve of my final vows. However, religious life for me was becoming more meaningless. I didnt seem connected to God and the good works I did were not personally satisfying. The year before I was to take final vows I seriously doubted I could live this life. It was no longer the fulfilling experience I expected and longed for as a child. With many tears, I left my religious community. After several years working in a law office, I met my husband, married and had a daughter. I earned my MBA at atop business school and moved to New Hampshire. But there was still an emptiness in my soul. I was very grateful for the grounding in religious values and theological education that Catholicism and religious life gave me, but I was searching for something to fill my soul, to make my life worth living.

Just prior to Falun Gong, joined a class to help me develop my personal strengths. The teacher mentioned a Qigong practice called Falun Gong and I was immediately intrigued. Several in the class attended the initial 9-day seminar. I began doing the exercises on a daily basis. My body started to change almost immediately.

I continued with the exercises each morning during the summer and reading the Law in a group on Friday evenings. Driving 45 minutes to do the exercises, then driving another 25 minutes to work after that was becoming more difficult. Falun Gong was so very different from the religious practices that I was familiar with that I began to wonder if this was right for me. I discontinued contact with the group for two months. I then returned to Friday evening group study which I found fulfilling. I loved reading the Law and found it answered spiritual questions I had not asked but needed to know. Things began to make sense. Falun Gong explained the total picture. I realized that there was a place where I really belonged, that there was a person that was the real me, my original true self. I finally had something to live for, to work toward.

At a weekend study group over the Thanksgiving holiday, I began to read the Law such that I could not put it down. The law really took hold and I began to discuss the Law with other practitioners more intensively and fond that it was making me a better person. I was more aware of Zhen Shan Ren throughout my working day. I was mindful of forbearance when others at work would criticize my work effort or when I was unjustly accused. At this time, work was very difficult. My manager found something wrong with everything I did. I received less than a glowing review and did not receive any increase. The stress was tremendous. I continued to endure. At my review, I refused to argue with my manager about a biased review. In a subsequent meeting, I felt Master Lis presence with me. It was the first time I was aware of his Fashen. It was a comfort and helped me to handle the situation as a cultivator.

My trip to the Marcy 99 experience sharing conference in New York brought about great changes in me. Several of us drove down and stayed in a Chinese-owned hotel which was an interesting experience in itself. While in the conference center I began to feel ill all over. The illness grew and grew until I wanted nothing more than to lay down in bed. When I talked about being ill to a practitioner assistant, she said it was not an ordinary sickness, that I was purifying. The evening I returned to the hotel I felt fine. Something was happening to me for sure.

There were so many people at the conference and so many Chinese, it was a little overwhelming. I started to walk around. I thought the bathrooms on the main floor were too busy, so I walked upstairs. The hallway was empty as I followed a woman to the ladies room. Coming out, I saw the same lady speaking to someone in the hallway. The closer I came, the more I knew this was Master Li. I walked very slowly all the while looking toward him. I seem to recall another person there whom I assumed was Master Lis translator, but I could look at no one else but Master Li. His hand seemed to sweep out to welcome me. As I later reflected, this was not two equals meeting, but a less being allowed in the presence of a superior being. My only thought was took this fact. What I saw was complete compassion, no agenda or ulterior motive. I was fairly experienced in reading peoples faces. There was great beneficence in his face. Its difficult to explain what I do not understand, but he seemed very tall and had the most beatific smile on his face. He seemed to be waiting for me to do something and I could only look at his beaming face. I then remembered basic etiquette and extended my hand in greeting. He immediately and graciously shook my hand. I walked back to the main room in somewhat of a daze. I told my companions about the wonderful experience, especially since he was being mobbed by practitioners everywhere he went and it was amazing I had this sole encounter. I knew then this was an enlightened being. I later read in Zhuan Falun that when two enlightened beings meet, they communicate by smiling. I guess if I were an enlightened being, I would know what Master Li was communicating to me. I gradually realized what a special experience this was when other practitioners wanted to touch the hand that touched his and listened attentively as I described every detail of the meeting.

I got home from the conference very late and took Zhuan Falun to bed with me. I closed my eyes and fell asleep. Sometime in the night I opened my eyes and Zhuan Falun was glowing orange. Upon coming back to work, I found people going out of their way to greet me, to say hi or just to talk. This was a new experience.

I continued to cultivate the best I could. Work became easier and easier. But I was becoming aware of tribulations that were being put in my path to help me improve. The exercises were very difficult to do on a regular basis. I tried to do the sitting meditation on alternate mornings with the standing exercises. I still could not do even a half-lotus and there were many distractions.

One night I had a vivid dream. Master Li was there, looking at me, smiling, showing me people walking into a building in orderly groups. The people seemed to be wearing simple white robes. What did it mean? The practitioner assistant suggested that it might be Master Li telling me to hurry up, there were many people becoming enlightened and I had better get going.

When I did exercises on Saturdays, I could now do a half-Lotus sitting pose. I experienced wonderful images during the sitting meditation. I began to see an eye slowly turning. It might be in profile, three-quarter view or looking directly at me. The eye was very beautiful, gentle, tranquil. I also saw what I understood to be the race of one or more Buddhas slowly turning and moving, as if they were floating within the range of my vision. They appeared as stone, but soft and pliable; the colors were soft and muted reds, browns and grays. It was almost as if they were turning rhythmically to the taped meditation music. I also once saw a deer and some type of big cat.

I continue to cultivate and the tribulations I experience focus on the attachments I need to get rid of. I want for nothing except to be enlightened, to leave this Triple World once and for all and go to the paradise that awaits me. My heart is full of gratitude for the gift of Falun Gong.