One year ago, I found myself eagerly approaching a community recreation center. My intention was to learn Qigong to heal illnesses. What I found was Falun Dafa, a cultivation method guiding me towards higher levels. Little did I know my outlook on the world and my life could change so quickly.
I started my path several years ago at the end of my senior year in high school when I read a book talking about a spiritual revolution stressing the importance of coincidences, energy, and following your own inner voice. By following the coincidences I encountered in my life, I could understand the meaning of my life. A year later, while walking through the library, I discovered a book on Yoga. As I looked through the pages I was intrigued by the look the yogi's had in their eyes. They were peaceful and empty. I remember thinking they must have know a great deal about life.
As the year went on I experimented with meditation. I also got in the habit of checking out random eastern literature and books on spiritual philosophy. On one occasion, a book on Qigong happened to pop off the shelf. It fascinated me. It talked about energy channels and the healing other's illness. Uninterested in school, I decided to become some sort of Chinese doctor and heal illnesses. I prayed to God to help me learn Qigong. Mysteriously, several weeks later, a girl came to me and told me of a qigong class she knew about. She asked me if I was still wanted to go with her. I was very excited to hear this. I told her I wanted to learn Qigong so we both decided to go.
After learning the exercises, we all read China Falun Gong. During the reading, my mind would not stop racing with questions. There was so much material in the first few pages. I took the book home and finished reading it within a week. While reading, my mind seemed to open so much although I could barely retain a bit of the book. I explained my dilemma to another practitioner. He said that was normal and gave me his copy of Zhuan Falun. He also said it was very important to read this book as quickly as possible because if I didn't finish reading the first time, it would be very difficult to pick it up later on. I took his advice and read the book during the course of the next two weeks.
Once I finished reading Zhuan Falun once, a practitioner suggested me to read the book again. I slowly read Zhuan Falun again. I also started to practice the exercises every day. The first time I watched the exercise tape, I felt a flow of warm energy coming to my body and head from the television. It seemed unbelievable that something external could affect me like that. I also noticed something else unusual. I would experience a strange pushing sensation in my forehead. I was told that this is Tianmu. Sure enough, Master Li said in Zhuan Falun, "When I was talking about Tianmu, each of you would feel it was tight in your forehead. The muscle felt like piling up together and drilling inward. As long as you genuinely put your mind to studying Falun Dafa here, everyone will have such a feeling." The more I read this book, the more I was amazed. "This is not a normal book." I once told a practitioner. There were so many amazing things in this book.
By the time I had read Zhuan Falun three times, I had a general understanding of the book, however, I was still confused. I knew I needed to improve my Xinxing and give up attachments, but I couldn't understand why. I knew there were many dimensions and higher levels, but I couldní t understand what they were. Because of my slow reading pace, it was very hard for me to find the answers to these questions. I often relied on other practitioners to guide my cultivation. It was not until the New York Conference in March 1999 that I overcame this hurdle. Hearing both Master Li and veteran practitioners talk about the importance of reading the book, I began to realize the magic of this book. Master Li said "All the Gong and all the Fa are in the book.", and "Doing more reading and studying the books is the key to real improvement. To make it clearer, if you read the Dafa, you are actually changing."
At the beginning of my cultivation I equated improving Xinxing with not attaching to food. As a result I would beat myself up all day long for wanting to eat certain type of food. Later, I realized that this state could also be a kind of attachment. In Zhuan Falun, Master Li said, "There are all kinds of Xinxing. However much he can comprehend, however much he will attain." After I became enlightened to this situation and realized that it didn't matter what I ate as long as I wasn't attached, everything seemed to change. That particular attachment suddenly disappeared and my understanding of Xinxing grew as well.
Many things strengthened my faith when I had little. One morning, as I rode up to the morning practice site, I saw large clouds of energy coming off of the practitioners' bodies while they were practicing. Other times, while reading Zhuan Falun, I would see a Falun spinning or see sparkles of light, which looked like sand. I must point out, however, at the beginning of my cultivation I became very attached to the images I saw with my Tianmu. Sometimes I would unconsciously look for these things. In addition I developed the attachment of showing off. It took me a very long and painful time to get rid of these attachments. Only once I ignored the images I saw was my mind balanced. Master Li said, "It is also difficult to practice cultivation with Tianmu opened, and it will be harder to control your Xinxing well." For me I found out the hard way.
On two instances I had a chance to meet Master Li. The first encounter was at the New York Experience-Sharing Conference in March. During the lunch break we went to the park to do practice the exercises. Once I got there, I noticed a small group of people gathering around someone. It was Master Li. At first, I wanted to go up to him, but I hesitated. At that moment, Master Li walked right up to me and shook my hand.
My second encounter with Master Li was at the Chicago Experience Sharing Conference in June. While doing the Falun Heavenly Circuit exercise, I felt someone standing in front of me. I opened my eyes. It was Master Li. The first thought that came into my mind was "Want nothing and gain naturally." He corrected my movements to the Falun Heavenly Circuit exercise. As he did this, I felt my whole body opening up and I could feel the circuit as it rotated. My body felt very light and wonderful. I didn't really think much at the time, but I was later astonished. These encounters with Master Li were very good reassurance to me. I was indeed very honored to have met Master Li in person.
The most important lesson I learned throughout the course of my cultivation has been the importance of improving Xinxing. Didn't Master Li say in Zhuan Falun, "One's Xinxing level is as high as one's Gong level, and this is an absolute truth." Having the good fortune to be around many veteran practitioners, I could feel a strong energy field around them. All at once I realized that they spend so much more time thinking about how to improve their Xinxing than I did. That must be the reason why I can feel a large gap between their level and mine.
As I began to devote more energy to improving Xinxing, one line in the book helped me. Mater Li said, "The desires of ordinary people, the immoral mind, as well as the thoughts to do wrong deeds should all be disposed. As long as your realm of mind is upgraded a little, some bad things will be eliminated from your own body." Some of the time I focused too narrowly on certain issues. Little by little, I came to realize I could improve my Xinxing just by monitoring my own mind, and getting rid of those little things I had overlooked. I also noticed that, when I could make my mind as right as possible, it was very easy to adjust incorrect thoughts and to eliminate them with little suffering. At these times my mind was benevolent and quiet. On the contract, my mind would crash during other times, and I must suffer some sort of hardship to improve my Xinxing. It seemed my situation was just like Master Li said, " The further you are from the Tao, the harder it is to come back through cultivation."
I am on a path. I have a guide. I am a practitioner in the course of my cultivation. I also have the support of my fellow practitioners. The rest, however, is up to me. This is a challenge beyond any I have ever faced. My understanding of The Dafa has indeed been beyond words. I have felt the changes in my body and my in mind. I hope only to truly understand Dafa with my heart.