Reflections During Cultivation – After Reading New Articles and Recent Experiences such as 'Which Should We Place First, Ourselves or the Fa?'

This summer I went through the painful process of realizing -deeply, in my heart, not just intellectually -that I needed to place the Fa before myself: to let go of the painful illusory human thoughts which restrain me and hold me down --attach me -- to this world, to all human things, to my various bad attachments, desires etc. The process, as I understand it, is not actually all that difficult, but it is impossible if one is not determined to do so: with determination, a true wish expressed to raise one's levels, then this Dafa that has been taught can indeed enable one to make rapid progress. But, as I realized this summer, if we harbor attachments in our hearts, we are cheating. And the only one we cheat is ourself...however, as Master Li points out in Serious Teachings :"The students outside of China are just like the students inside of China-they are one body.". This confirmed an understanding I came to earlier, which was that each and every time I knowingly did a bad deed, as a Dafa disciple, or followed my attachments, harboring them in my heart - this was prolonging the suffering of students in China. Each moment we hold back and do not step forward with our whole hearts, true genuine disciples - the glittering gold - detained in China are tortured, electrocuted, raped killed etc. This thus makes it our responsibility. Indeed, we are responsible, those of us still "break[ing] away from humanness", to do so diligently and as quickly as possible. If we hold back, we are directly causing the suffering and deaths of others.

If our Buddha-nature has truly come forth, then, upon reading these new articles by Teacher, we should feel compassionate hearts and even shame if our own selfishness has held us back - even shedding tears as more and more layers of selfishness are exposed to us by the Fa.

If one feels nothing, or is confused, not "clearheaded", even not wanting to believe it or searching for excuses in the surface words to hide one's attachments, then I fear that one is likely amongst the disciples Teacher has repeatedly pointed out as "...being controlled by demons and 'enlightening' along an evil path." I have realized, as Master points out, that this is very serious and that "They have no idea how dangerous the situation is for their true beings."

My understanding is that it is not just dangerous, but Fatal, because if one goes along with the demons, being controlled by them , being controlled by one's demon-nature, poisoned by human attachments, then one is Undermining Dafa, and this is a sin so enormous that I cannot imagine its consequences.

There are such students in China, who even now " 'persists in studying the Fa and doing the exercises' at home" ; unfortunately there are also many such people overseas as well.

Upon reading 'Towards Consummation' this summer, this is when I realized that I still had some of these "fundamental attachments" left in me and that as I harbored them in my heart, practitioners in China died and I risked going along with the demons and being ruined as well, becoming a demon, undermining Dafa. The difference is that, as a determined practitioner, I now truly want to let go of attachments- to raise my level -why? - to become less selfish, "Dissolving into the Fa" - why? -to be able to genuinely, increasingly put others before myself, to assist the Teacher in the Fa-rectification...to fulfill this predestined relationship, which I feel that I and many others - have been waiting for for innumerable Kalpas (Jie), and which only comes along once in a very, very, enormous length of time.

Thus, when we realize that these attachments are there, we should, as particles of Dafa, use every bit of determination we can, "Digging Out The Roots", purifying ourselves, harmonizing and rectifying the Fa.

If we do not, or cannot see them, this is indescribably dangerous - practitioners who don't step forward with their whole beings, think: why are all these disciples doing this? Why do I practice Falun Dafa? Why this system and not one of the multitude of others? Why is my understanding of the Fa-rectification and what disciples should do so (fundamentally) different from theirs? Why do I doubt Master's words, or do not have some understanding of the new articles? What about Masters words "On Important Matters, Practitioners Must Watch The Position of Minghui Net" ?

I beg you to weigh these questions very carefully and read, without intention, Master's latest articles, discuss with other practitioners, observe the position of Minghui

Your entire future - and the continued suffering of many beings - is weighing on your enlightening to these kinds of fundamental questions.

HeShi,

November 13, 2000