My Cultivation Experience During the Chinese Government's Persecution

(Shared at 2001 European Conference)

My name is Shumei Zhang. I would like to report here how I went through severe, brutal tribulations for over a year in Mainland China where the evil is running rampant..

I am 61 years old now. I am a retired official of The Culture Department of Shandong province. I was a Communist Party member for almost 40 years. I started to cultivate Falun Dafa in October of 1995; from then on, the great truth of the Universe has showed me a totally different view of the world.

On June 20th, the Falun Gong contact people were arrested unexpectedly. After discussions with other practitioners, we decided to go to the provincial government on June 22nd to appeal and protest the illegal arrest of these people. Before we left home, we prepared for the possibility that we wouldn't be able to return. On the street, police sirens occasionally howled, and policemen guarded every intersection in the city. At the main road leading into the city, the police blocked all pedestrians and vehicles that tried to enter. The provincial government compound was securely guarded by the police and impossible to enter. When practitioners were discussing what to do next, a bus stopped by and about five policemen jumped out, grabbed the practitioners and tried to drag people into the bus. In the rush and confusion, I slipped away. After a little while, I saw another bus arresting people. Later on, I was told that several thousand practitioners were arrested that day.

After June 22nd, under orders from Jiang Zemin, all Falun Gong practitioners faced a "several against one" policy in their work units. Several people in our work unit spoke to me in turn, trying to convince me to give up Falun Dafa. No matter who came, I always refuted their points with vehemence in order for justice to prevail. I resisted the propaganda on TV, exposed the lies, and told them the facts about Falun Dafa. Falun Dafa gave me wisdom and courage; even for a person like me, who was not a good speaker, the non-practitioners could only listen to me instead of arguing no matter how high a reputation he had, how good his theory was, or how great a talker he was.

Meanwhile, the policemen were asking practitioners to hand in Falun Dafa materials and write a pledge not to practice Falun Dafa. Although I didn't hand in any of my Dafa books, and my determination to cultivate Falun Dafa has never been shaken, I still did a stupid thing with the mentality of an everyday person. One day, a policewoman came and told me: "You have to put something in writing to show your attitude towards Falun Gong." I replied I would not write anything. She said if I didn't write anything she would not be able to complete her report. She said you may just write something; just go through the motions and you can still practice freely. Considering her attitude was good I didn't want to give her trouble; I thought how Master Li only considers our heart, and so it would not hurt to write one. So I grabbed a pen and wrote: "I have practiced Falun Dafa for four years and have greatly benefited from it both physically and mentally. Falun Dafa is not an organization, and we can freely come and go without any restrictions. If the Central Committee says Falun Dafa is an organization, then I will withdraw from this organization." I played the game of words to fool myself. The policewoman read it and said: "A pledge like this won't pass in the police station, and if it can not pass there, I will have to come back and ask you to rewrite it."

My everyday person's sense of sympathy was raised again, I forgot the seriousness of cultivation. I was thinking, "The weather is so hot, I feel bad making her come back again." So I picked up the pen again and wrote down the following words: "I will withdraw from the Falun Gong organization and be consistent with the opinion of the Central Committee." After the policewoman left, I didn't feel right. Master said that during cultivation any attachment of an everyday person is dangerous. I realized that the problem is that the way I was thinking was based on that of an everyday person's mentality but not based on Dafa (The Great Law). I was not responsible to Dafa and my cultivation but responsible to everyday people's ways. I was so disappointed about what I did and I could not get the pledge back. I didn t know that I could write something to revoke my statement. I was regretting this for a long time. Not until, June 2000 when I was arrested, did I get a chance to write another statement and get rid of this heavy burden in my mind.

By late fall, many practitioners started going to Beijing to appeal. I could not go with them because I was not able to find a person to take care of my mother, so I could only do what ever I could do at home to protect Dafa. For instance, I practiced Falun Gong in the public park with other practitioners to demonstrate for Dafa. I was also calling, writing and visiting relatives and friends to spread and protect Dafa. I even went out with a Falun button on to protect Dafa. There were several times that I was shopping with the Falun button on. When people asked me what it was, I told them that it was a Falun button. In this way I got a chance to spread the law and speak the truth, it worked very well. I also wrote to many of the major media like "Xinhua News Report", "People s Daily" and CCTV, condemning their illegal action of spreading rumors, framing Falun Gong and cheating people without any conscience. I also wrote letters to the government, the leaders of political parties and enterprises, relatives, friends and fellow villagers to speak the truth.

From April 2000, the policemen regularly visited us. Their purpose was nothing other than finding out what we were doing. I made three promises to myself: not to betray Master Li, not to betray Falun Dafa and not to betray other practitioners. I also decided not to acknowledge making a mistake (because we were not wrong, it was the authorities who were making a mistake) and not to admit what I had done for Falun Dafa. If I was not caught by the evil, I would not admit these. But maybe this seems like it is not in agreement with the principle of "truth," but, the evil itself is false and brutal; to talk about "truth" with them would abuse the principle of "Truth, Compassion and Tolerance" and destroying the Fa. When I was dealing with the policemen continuously, I always kept my promises and my line of defense. There was a time when two policemen came and asked: "Have you got Master Li s new article?" "Yes." I replied. They said: "Bring it out and let's make a detailed study, we think it looks like a phony one." I said to them: " I have only one copy, I can not give it to you. To tell you the truth, I can recognize the phony one at a glance. I would not be fooled. This is absolutely a genuine one." At that time phony articles of Master Li s were everywhere, so they secretly felt happy. When we had the genuine article, they came and said something like this. Didn't this show what their purpose was?

June 2000, I was arrested and taken to the Police Station for practicing Falun Gong in a public park. They asked me to write a pledge. This reminded me of the unwise thing I did in July of 1999 that reminded me about what I'll regret foreverthe blemish from my past. I told them firmly: "This is impossible, I won t do this kind of unwise thing even if you cut off my head. Not only will I not write anything today, but I will also declare that the pledge I wrote before is invalid." The leader of the public security bureau accompanied by the head of the Police Station came and talked to me. As soon as the leader of the public security bureau sat down, he started to curse Falun Gong with foul language. It seemed that in front of a Falun Gong practitioner he could only swear but was not able to come up with any convincing argument. He slandered and hurled invectives on our Master. I interrupted him and said: "You are here to convince me, why do you do nothing but curse? The "Xinhua News Report", "People's Daily" and the CCTV have been pouring out a stream of abuse upon Falun Gong for over a year. Are they good at cursing? But they haven't convinced me in this way, do you think you will convince me in this way?"

He then said our Master was of a low level in many aspects. I could not bear these words, interrupted and told him that in the United States, I have listened to my Master's lecture four times in person. Every time there was a conference with over 1,000 people there. Among those 1,000 people, most of them are scholars, scientists and professors with Masters and Ph.D. degrees, or at least with a Bachelor's Degree. Practitioners there are free to ask questions. There are all kinds of questions that covered ancient and modern times; heaven and earth. Master Li answered these questions without any hitch. May I ask if there is a greater scientist who dares to step on a stage like this? Maybe the head of the police station was concerned about his leader being embarrassed, so he stopped me and left with the leader of the bureau hastily. I stayed in the Police Station for a day, and was released in the evening with the help of some kindhearted people.

After my husband was arrested, our home was searched twice. They didn't show us any search warrant, and as for the confiscated things, they wouldn't let me look at them and took them covertly away without my signature.

In the beginning of July, maybe because of their concern that I would go to Beijing to appeal, my work unit also got instructions from higher authority to keep a close eye on me. (Actually, it was impossible for me to go to Beijing at that time since my husband had been arrested and put in jail. Fearing that I could be arrested, nobody dared to help me take care of my mother). My unit arranged for 18 people to monitor me day and night and additionally two janitors; there were 20 persons in all. It was July, and the weather in Jinan was extremely hot. 18 people gave up their work and were on duty in the hot janitors' room. I felt uncomfortable about this, so I talked to my leader: "I will not go to Beijing before the end of July. The weather is too hot, don't ask these co-workers to suffer here, it will delay their work." However, under the pressure of higher authority, they dared not do what I said. Therefore, I talked to the people on duty: "Don't blame us practitioners for your suffering here, all this is created by the authorities. We are the victims, you are also victims, and all people of the whole country are victims. They do not allow us to practice such a good cultivation practice and also ask you to suffer along with us. All the people of the whole country are losing the chance to cultivate Falun Dafa; this is such a great loss for their life!" I told them how good Falun Gong is.

In August, the party group received instructions from higher authority again to talk with me repeatedly. They asked me to choose between Falun Gong and the membership in the party. On September 1st, two leaders of the party group brought the decision of the party group to me and asked me to sign it. I read it; it said that I was removed the party list. They didn't let me attend the meeting because they were afraid that I might complain loudly about the injustice. I picked up a pen and signed.

I had a dream that night. I dreamed that I was about to go aboard a boat with a group of people. Everyone else except me left, I felt that I should pack lightly. I opened up the huge pack that I was carrying, threw out several large notebooks and a heavy big parcel full of badges with Mao Zedong's likeness on them. After that, I put back some dirty old clothes into the bag and carried it with me. When I woke up, I was thinking"Why didn't I throw those dirty clothes out too?"

In the evening of December 18th, several policemen rushed in to search my home again. They took away all my Dafa books and materials and arrested me again. I was locked in an iron cage for 24 hours without any reason. After I came back home, under the instruction of the public security bureau of Jinan city, people in the janitor's room started to follow me wherever I went. When I went grocery shopping, they followed; when I went to visit friends, they followed; even the guests who came to visit me had to register.

On the 23rd of January, Chinese New Year eve, the " leaders" from the Public Security visited the janitor's room two or three times a day for my case.

On the 30th of January, when I was reading "Zhuan Falun" to my mother, suddenly, I heard somebody knock at the door rudely. I was sure that they were policemen, so I didn't open the door for them. On the evening of February 1st, about 9:30 PM, the female leader of my local Police Station came and asked me to open door; I looked out from the door, there were six or seven male policemen behind the female leader. I told them: "Don't scare my old mother." I did not open the door for them, and left the leader of the local Police Station yelling outside.

In the evening, I thought "I won't let them arrest me and take me away!" I arranged for a relative to take care of my mother. In the morning of February 3rd, after I took care of my mother carefully, I grabbed a shopping bag of groceries, and left my home unwillingly. Immediately, the janitor and leader of the Security Section came up and followed me. A police car also came a little while later. I got into a taxi and got rid of the followers ingeniously. 12 days later, with the help of the Canadian Embassy, I was able to come to Canada.

On the airplane to Canada, I was thinking of my old mother, the practitioners with whom I suffered tribulations, kind-hearted leaders and co-workers of my work unit, and also the land I love so much. Why did I have to leave? I was forced to leave by the Chinese Government and the evil forces.

Compared with other practitioners, I was not put into prison nor was I tortured, no such dramatic story, no stirring achievements. However, through my experience I could have a feeling for how the evil force brutally abuses Dafa practitioners every day. Even so, we didn't give in to the evil force. Even though it is hard, all practitioners within and outside China are walking firmly on their way of cultivation.

Thank you, everyone!