I graduated from a university in 1999. After graduation, I continuously engaged in education-related work. Right after "7.20" [i.e., July 20, 1999. Falun Dafa has been persecuted in China since that day], my heart for cultivating Falun Dafa was still firm. Besides, I would still, as in the past, promote the Fa [Law and principles] and clarify the truth to as many people as I could. Last year, after I read Teacher's article "Serious Teachings," I had two thoughts; one was that the Falun Dafa practitioners in my hometown needed me to help them access the Internet; the other was that the condition of many Falun Dafa practitioners was still not good and they also needed my help. Thus, I gave up my job and returned to my hometown. Just after I came back, two work units urged me to go back to work, but I had already made up my mind: I was willing to give up whatever I had to for Falun Dafa. It has been more than half a year since then, and although I am now compelled to be homeless in this process, I am rapidly improving myself and becoming more mature. Now, I can do the things I should do with even more sense, wisdom and solemnity in understanding the Fa. I fully realize that all these things come from the power of the Fa, and, it is Teacher's compassion and greatness that enable us to achieve all them. Below I will present my personal experience and the lessons I learned in the past half year to my fellow practitioners for reference. Please point out any mistakes so that they can be corrected.
1. Firmly adhere to the unwavering righteous belief of Falun Dafa
Right when "7.20" happened, the propaganda machine overwhelmingly and completely denied all the genuine facts of the past. It was a very big test for every Dafa practitioner. But just as Teacher has said "See as if see not" "Hear as if hear not," ("In the Dao" in Hong Yin), I was not too concerned and did not pay much attention to what was said on the television and in the newspapers. But still, I would occasionally hear from my neighbor's television or the newspaper a few words. At that time, my first thought was, "are these speeches right?" Each individual weighs right and wrong with a standard and for me, the standard is what Teacher says. Therefore at that time, I unwittingly judged the evil attacks of these speeches alongside what Teacher has said to see if they made any sense. After this thought emerged, I was suddenly startled into realizing that since the Fa had already become a part of my thinking and life, there was no need for this comparison. Thus, I passed this test very quickly.
Now when I look back, it becomes clear that for a Falun Dafa practitioner, the righteous belief of Falun Dafa is really important. This is precisely the genuine manifestation of the level of our Xinxing [mind nature; moral standards]. Since we have all come from Dafa, isn't it a very serious issue for our practitioners? If this righteous belief is given up, then everything else will be out of the question.
Quite naturally, I would like to tell a story I heard of after "4.25," [April 25, 1999] my memory of which is still vivid. One old cadre of a military area benefited a lot from the cultivation of Falun Dafa. After "4.25," the army requested each practitioner make public his or her stand on the issue of Falun Gong. He thought, let me write a false statement, and hide in my home to firmly cultivate Dafa as before. But soon, his health deteriorated seriously. Before his death, Dafa revealed to him a lot of truth, but it was already too late. Besides sighing and lamenting, he could only repeatedly urge his family members, who are also Falun Dafa practitioners, to firmly cultivate Dafa regardless of what happens.
2. Giving up one's self, giving up the acquired concepts that are for one's personal interest and one's self
Teacher said: "Actually, you don't yet know that this selfishness penetrates to very high levels. As a matter of fact, for cultivators in the past to say: "I'm doing such and such," "I want to do such and such," "I want to obtain such and such," "I am practicing cultivation," "I want to become a Buddha," or "I wish to attain such and such," none of these diverged from selfishness. But what I want you to be able to do is to truly, purely, and unselfishly reach Consummation with the genuinely righteous Fa and righteous Enlightenment--only then can you achieve eternal non-extinction."
Through the Fa rectification cultivation practice of this period of time, I found that it is indeed so. Even after we have passed many tests, we still find that somehow the selfish motive still exists, but at that time, its connotation has changed, and its manifestation also is not the same, though at every layer upon layer, this selfish motive exists. Teacher taught us to cultivate ourselves to become truly enlightened beings who are selfless and think of others first before themselves. In retrospection, its implication actually is extremely profound. Regarding this selfish motive, as a typical example, during the Fa rectification cultivation practice, many fellow practitioners thought or became aware that "I" should do this or that (actually it may not necessarily be something that should be done, or inevitably must be done in this process, but only something from one's individual thought), then one became attached to doing this thing itself, and covered up this attachment with a most magnificent excuse "I was safeguarding the Fa, and not doing it just for myself." Actually at this time the thoughts were already impure and had a selfish essence; this could bring about many troubles. However, because of one's magnificent excuse, in his heart, he was still thinking, "How come I encounter so many troubles?"
This selfish motive also has another major manifestation; for instance, when one's individual cultivation was in conflict with Fa rectification cultivation practice on the surface (of course, there was no conflict in their essences), what should he do? In the past, I once regarded myself as very dauntless; I was doing as much work as I was able to for Dafa, without considering my personal gain or loss. In my heart, I was thinking, my personal gain or loss did not matter much. If tribulations came, I will reinforce my righteous thoughts and get past it. But after having raised my level, I realized this thought was also selfish. What I personally gain or lose, endure or do not endure, is actually not important. If, in its entirety, the process of Fa rectification requires me to do something in a certain way, I should do it in that way. The Fa is most important; it should be put ahead of everything and individual cultivation is naturally contained in it. After laying down this thought, I discovered the scope of my mind broadened a lot once again, and many things could not restrain me any more, my level and my realm were also different, and, of course, the feeling was also extremely wonderful.
The above-mentioned issue also had another prominent manifestation. For instance, many practitioners had this thought; let me first study the Fa well, and then I will participate in the Fa rectification, otherwise, problems may easily come up. How much a person cares about himself! He would do something only after having protected himself well. Even everyday people know one principle: there will be no harvest without making an effort. We are doing things that are much greater than everyday people. We might as well examine these thoughts under magnification, then it becomes quite obvious. The thinking goes like this; after I study the Fa well, I can raise my level, and after I raise my level, it is unlikely that I will not do well or even go the opposite way of Dafa, and in this way, I will do even better and raise my level. Hidden behind these thoughts is still all about "me."
Nevertheless, I think we should not force anything in dealing with all these issues. If our hearts have not truly reached this realm, then it is certain that we are just looking for an excuse for another selfish thought of ourselves and will not improve ourselves.
3. Do things with no desires and gain things naturally with no pursuit
Teacher has said: "when all attachments are removed, you will truly reach wuwei." ("Wuwei [Action without Intention]" in Hong Yin) It is still like the above-mentioned situation, even when we are doing the best things. If we still have attachments, things will definitely not go smoothly since it is not allowed to do sacred things with impure hearts. I felt that if we could maintain very pure hearts, all would go quite smoothly. If any problem may surface, it is definitely because our own point of view is not quite right or that it is time for us to improve ourselves. However, if we cannot deal with this issue correctly, or if we can not put down or get past something in our hearts, and because of it, we bring some loss to Dafa, then not only have we generated karma for ourselves, but more seriously, we have brought upon Dafa some negative influence and irremediable losses.
Moreover, I have also become aware that our own intentions are actually very important. So long as our thoughts are righteous, Teacher will make a very good arrangement for many of the things we want to do, and we do not need to make much effort. That is because Dafa is the supernormal law, not everyday people's guiding principles.
4. Use every possible means to do what a Dafa practitioner is supposed to do
In such a severe environment as the current time, during the process of clarifying the truth and exposing the evil, we may possibly face obstruction and persecution from the evil force, but Teacher is still there and Fa is still there, so what is there to fear? If we still have certain selfish reservations, in the final analysis, it is still because we have not put down everyday people's scruples.
I remember once I was helping teach English training classes in a school, and I thought I should clarify the truth to the students. In a spoken English class, I first let the students introduce themselves in the form of practicing spoken English, and then, I also introduced myself in English. Since Dafa was already an indivisible part of my life, I felt I should also introduce Dafa. Thereupon, beginning with how I obtained the Fa, I continuously talked about the evil persecution and the truth about us. Every time I had a new class, I did this. Each time I did this, I more or less had reservations in my heart: how would my supervisor react if he knew about this? But each time after I broke through this thing, I would have extremely strong feelings that, while I was speaking about the truth to the students, at the same time, Teacher was also reinforcing me, and the feeling of the energy field was especially strong.
Afterwards I worked in a private school for a period of time and acquainted myself with some teachers. So long as I had the opportunity, I would also clarify the truth to them. In that school, there were many Americans. I frequently went to their places to visit, and told them the truth about us. They had all been informed before coming to China that in China, you must be careful once politics and religion-related issues were involved. I also knew that, once my supervisor knew I was telling the truth about Falun Dafa, I would not be able to keep my job. Despite all this, I still told the Americans the truth as long as I had the opportunity. They were all very understanding. Some even inquired about how they could help us. After returning to their homeland, the United States, one person even helped the local Dafa practitioners to meet with their congressman and tell the truth. Because many of them had religious beliefs, I was able to tell them more things they did not know about. At that time, I felt that I was telling them the principles of Dafa, meanwhile, I understood very clearly in my heart that more people had placed their own positions well because of our truth-clarifying efforts.
Actually, my experience is that once we lay down our everyday person's ideas, clarify the truth and expose the evil in our own environment, and put this ahead of all else, then our own gains and losses have little significance.
5. Dafa is great and sacred, and is in no way like the behavioral norm of humans
Many of those so-called "reformed" persons, or those whose conditions were not good, actually had their thoughts falling into everyday people's thoughts and weighed Dafa with everyday human principles. Teacher said: "The steadfast, righteous thoughts of a cultivator transcend all human understandings, transcend all human thinking, and can never be understood by everyday people. At the same time, they cannot be changed by everyday people, because humans are not able to change enlightened beings." ("Coercion Cannot Change People's Hearts") Many of the "reformed" persons had been taken advantage of by the evil. When the human side surfaced, they completely forgot how magnificent and great Dafa was, but instead entered into human thinking conventions. This is very dangerous.
There were also such persons who could not endure it after encountering a little tribulation or setback, and resented Dafa in their hearts: how come the tribulation was so big, how come it continues? Oftentimes, upon seeing such persons, I felt really unhappy and angry in my heart. How does a human deserve to bargain back and forth with the magnificent, great Dafa?
6. About affection for family
Many Falun Dafa practitioners who were compelled to leave home were quite worried about their family members, thinking that they would suffer a lot for us. But, this concern is still from sentimentality.
Regarding this issue, I was thinking in this way: Dafa is fair regarding any life. When our family members suffered for us, weren't they actually reducing their karma in enduring the hardship? Moreover, to some degree, weren't they suffering for Dafa? Then will their sufferings be in vain? In the future, the fortunate things they will receive are out of proportion to what they have suffered now. The happiness their sufferings for Dafa will bring for them in the future is also beyond the description of language.
Having been enlightened to all these, my heart became very broad again.
Falun Dafa practitioners in Mainland China
April 19, 2001
