(Clearwisdom.net) I am a veteran practitioner who in the past was not diligent and did not practice steadfastly. As the continuous persecution increased, my fear likewise increased. With an attachment to relatives, and also noting that others signed guarantees, I too, though contrary to my convictions, wrote a few lines just to temporarily avoid problems and hoped to "practice diligently" later. These were all ordinary person's notions. I didn't think deeply about the practice and the solemn and sacred duty of safeguarding the Fa.
Since the year 2000, Teacher has time and again released articles that deeply moved me. As Dafa suffered slander and practitioners were persecuted, I did not step forward to safeguard Dafa, but instead became a disgraceful deserter. For over a month, I couldn't think about food or drink, didn't sleep well, and felt I had lost my will to live. On many occasions I looked at Teacher's portrait and cried bitterly not knowing if Teacher would still recognize me as a practitioner. But on numerous occasions as I practiced the exercises and studied the Fa, I distinctly realized that Teacher was still looking after me. Many times Teacher hinted to me that in the practice, one needed to be committed. The mercy and benevolence of our venerable Teacher gave me great strength. I couldn't forever be embroiled in regret and hopelessness. I was often moved to tears when reading website articles written by fellow practitioners who were steady as a rock in their practice. I could neither be on the side of the evil in the balance of good and bad, nor just be a bystander looking on unconcernedly. I must begin again and be a particle within the Fa. The knowing part of me realized that being successful in the practice was not the main criterion--safeguarding the Fa of the universe was the real purpose of life.
First, I must be more stringent about my practice, let others understand by my actions that Dafa is upright, and in this way clarify the truth. Starting in the year 2001, my fellow practitioners and I began to distribute Falun Dafa materials. At the outset, I was full of fear. Every time my fear arose, the flyers that I placed on the doors or letterboxes would fall with a loud thud. I realized that the fear was caused by my selfishness. Therefore, I reinforced my Fa study and practice. Before I began distributing materials, I studied the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts. While distributing materials, I recited portions of the Fa and sent forth righteous thoughts, constantly eliminating fear. My thinking was becoming more righteous. When people saw me and asked questions, I would be most upright in my explanations of the truth to awaken them. Nowadays when I distribute materials, no one interferes and I deeply feel that everyone is actually waiting to receive the Fa.
Subsequently, with the assistance of fellow practitioners, I published my solemn declaration on the website. My practice became more and more upright. I valued every opportunity to elevate myself, put more effort into Fa study, read as many articles as I could on Minghui Net, more frequently sent forth righteous thoughts every hour on the hour, and did my best in assisting and encouraging the practitioners around me who had similar experiences to mine. Every time I elevated, I felt like crying, and in my mind I said to Teacher: "I am receiving your continuous and eternal benevolence and I will all the more treasure my good fortune in being able to practice! The Buddha Law is miraculous and remarkable and is often manifested in my upright thoughts and conduct. It has reinforced my understanding of the Fa and at the same time I feel very fortunate to be existing within the Fa."
As I progressed in the practice and clarified the truth, my benevolence increased, and I became less impatient and argumentative. Sometimes I felt that my heart was so pure it was transparent. I valued the lives I faced and no longer held onto the notions of ordinary humans in thoughts or judgment. All my previous experiences and ideologies became less and less important. Safeguarding the Fa and saving sentient beings became my priority. I approached each person with a different manner to clarify the truth. I utilized all the articles I read, all the principles I had heard from fellow practitioners, and found the results to be very positive. Often, I prepared materials for certain specific audiences, and after sending forth righteous thoughts, spoke to them (for example, to students). I clarified the truth to my family members at every opportunity. I was always looking for opportunities to speak to neighbors and colleagues.
I have met with many different situations while clarifying the truth. I met people that had very strong concepts against Dafa while talking to colleagues. I discovered that they had become victims of the persecution, with many miscomprehensions about Dafa, and I could not find a way to convince them otherwise. My mental state was momentarily tied in knots. My heart was heavy and fearing that the other party would lose the opportunity of accepting the truth or understanding the Fa principles. I began to feel that my level was too low and my ability was limited. But I immediately calmed down, and contemplated that the duty of a Dafa practitioner was not to retreat and that such ideas were imposed on me by the old forces. I immediately repudiated them, and found my compassionate and peaceful environment again. All at once a clear and distinct thought emerged, a wisdom bestowed by Dafa. I thought of Teacher waking us from the quagmire of human society and permitting us to gradually elevate ourselves to save sentient beings in various worlds with utmost effort. As Master said, "Taking care of all human affairs, Looking after heavenly suffering" ("Colder in Higher Places," from Hong Yin), thereafter I took the initiative to clarify the truth and seized every opportunity to do so. In daily contact with ordinary people I was able to conform to their ways and therefore the results of clarifying the truth were favorable. Every time I finished clarifying the truth, I searched within myself and if I discovered any attachment, I immediately discarded it. I became more and more proficient [at clarifying the truth]. My family members, neighbors, colleagues, and students all accepted what I conveyed to them personally.
Nowadays, we have many ways of clarifying the truth. I really treasure every moment of the Fa-rectification period. In keeping with the progress of Fa-rectification, we gradually recognize the urgency and importance of Dafa practitioners elevating together as one body. Our hearts must unite as one and as Teacher said, "The next person's things are your things, and your things are his things." (Lecture at Washington, DC Conference, 2002) Do not wait or depend on others, just do whatever one is able.
This article is written to awaken practitioners who have walked on the same path that I have, to help them discard all their ordinary human notions, recommence with vigor and perform as a practitioner should in the Fa-rectification period, and to offer as a tribute with all your strength to rectify the Fa and save all sentient beings. That is the crux of the significance of our existence. After falling down, get up and deny all the arrangements by the old forces. "I don't acknowledge the old forces' arrangements and I don't acknowledge this persecution." (Touring North America to Teach the Fa). Remember the serious teachings by Teacher, "This undertaking hasn't been completed yet, Fa-rectification hasn't been concluded, so there's still a chance for you to do well again. Indeed, as long as there's still one day when the persecution hasn't ended, that day is an opportunity. Use it well, do better, come back sooner, and don't miss any more opportunities. Don't dwell on your past mistakes--if you've made mistakes, then do well from now on. Don't think about the things that have happened. Think about how to do well from now on, and become truly responsible to yourself and to sentient beings." "Your cultivation is absolutely not a personal, simple matter of reaching Consummation--your cultivation is saving the countless sentient beings in the cosmic body that corresponds to you and who've put infinite hope in you. The cultivation of you all is saving the sentient beings in every single gigantic cosmic colossal firmament." "That gigantic cosmic body is below you, it's almost like your body, because that's how gigantic you are. There are countless sentient beings and countless cosmic firmaments inside there. Your cultivation determines whether those gigantic groups of beings are good or bad, and whether they can be kept or not!" (Touring North America to Teach the Fa)
We must be responsible to the Fa, to our fellow practitioners, and to the countless sentient beings of our worlds.
