Walking Without Faltering

Greetings, Master. Greetings, fellow disciples.

When I first started on my path of cultivation, little did I know that I would be embarking on a grand mission. Yet that is exactly what I am doing today, being a Dafa disciple during the Fa rectification period. While bewildering at some times and exciting at others, I know that I am taking part in a magnificent feat.

1. Before cultivation

I was born and brought up in a traditional Asian Indian family. My parents and grandparents were kind-hearted people, and they raised me up in traditional values. From a young age, I used to suffer a lot, and began to doubt the existence of God. However, I was open to paranormal phenomena and meditation.

Just before starting my undergraduate studies, my grandfather passed away. I also went through much karma elimination. I started feeling sad and depressed and wondered whether life was worth living.

Soon after, a lot of my human attachments fell away, and life started to go smoothly. I experienced the 'Gong borrowing' state that Master talks about in the section 'Reverse Cultivation and Gong Borrowing' of Zhuan Falun,"...these people have never received genuine teaching, yet they suddenly get gong overnight."

Unfortunately, things happened just like Master says in 'Reverse Cultivation and Gong Borrowing' in Zhuan Falun: "He would think that he still had a long way to go in life, and he still wanted to make every effort to achieve some goals of ordinary people. So, once he developed supernormal abilities and some abilities, they would be used as a means to pursue his personal goals in ordinary human society. They would then not work and were prohibited from being used this way. The more he used them, the less his energy. Finally, he would end up with nothing." I was left wondering what had happened to the good things that I had been experiencing. I got more and more frustrated.

2. Hardships

I started reading spiritual texts, which got me thinking about what lay beyond life and death. Shortly afterwards, I experienced the qigong state. This was a turning point in my life. As Master describes in 'Cultivation Insanity' in Zhuan Falun, "What kind of mental state do you think he'll be in? What was once regarded as superstitious, absolutely impossible, and ridiculous when others talked about it is actually lying right before his eyes, and he is indeed in contact with it. This person's mind will then be unable to take it, as the mental pressure is simply too great." Everything was suddenly turned upside down. This experience would set me on a long and difficult path of cultivation.

I began to suffer from numerous hardships, which I now realize was to eliminate my karma and upgrade my xinxing. It was very painful and hard to endure back then, since I did not have the guidance of the Fa at that time.

I started to devote myself to spiritual texts, hoping to find something that would explain to me the mysteries of life. Meanwhile, I had secured an admission to a university in the US, the University of Florida for graduate studies. I believed that coming to the US would solve all my problems.

Unfortunately, my dreams were shattered very soon. After I came to the US, I realized that things were as bad as everywhere else, and I quickly sank into self-destructive despairing and disillusionment.

I started reading Buddhist texts, which offered me some solace. Unfortunately, I also started to read 'channeled' messages, which I came to later understand were low-level things.

3. Cultivating in Falun Gong

One day, I came across Falun Gong, by what then felt like a coincidence. I came across a group of practitioners handing out flyers. I was to find out later that that had been the first day they had handed out flyers in Gainesville. At that time I was interested in Yoga, and had heard good things about Falun Gong. Struck by the fact that it was being offered free of charge, and the three words 'Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance', I decided to try it out.

Looking back, I wonder how I made it at all. Practicing out in the open was acutely embarrassing for me. My arms and legs hurt, I couldn't sit even casually cross-legged for 15 minutes at a time, my thought karma and attachments were screaming at me to get up and out of there, and so many people were passing by! Today though, I am glad that I decided to stick it out.

I quickly read Falun Gong and Zhuan Falun. The spiritual principles in both the texts really struck me, though I found Zhuan Falun difficult to understand at the beginning. I gave up what I practiced before soon after -- everything that those voluminous religious texts covered, and more, was found in Zhuan Falun.

In around February, I started to send forth righteous thoughts. After reading Master's Fa-rectification lectures and ClearWisdom articles, I began to take this seriously. I also started to go for group study with practitioners in Orlando on weekends, which sped up my cultivation.

Through reading and re-reading Master's new articles and lectures, I came to understand the seriousness of Fa-Rectification and my role in it. At that time, I was still quite unsure about what to do, and I felt unworthy of playing a role. After reading Teacher's "Touring North America to Teach the Fa" however, I felt that I could no longer sit still and do nothing.

4. Taking part in Fa rectification

The first major step I had to take in Fa-rectification was handing out flyers. I was scared of so many things - taking time off work, other people seeing me, etc. However, things turned out well. My friends were very supportive, and I slowly lost my fear of handing out flyers in public. I was able to find a lot of attachments in myself, and was able to get rid of them.

I had used to chat online when I was younger. I realized that I had been through that in order to save sentient beings during the Fa-rectification period. During chatting, I always tried to polite, and tried to show them the good side of Falun Gong. A lot of Chinese people were initially upset, but would often change their minds as I clarified the facts. I was very happy whenever I saw those innocent sentient beings start to think for themselves, and thus hopefully establish a good future for their lives.

I also started talking to Chinese people face-to-face on campus. I would usually walk up to oriental people, and talk to them about Falun Gong. At first, I was unsure about this. I wondered if my doing so would have a negative impact on Dafa. However, Master encouraged me in this direction. Needless to say, when my righteous thoughts were strong, things worked out well. If the person I encountered was not a Chinese, I would clarify the truth to them too, and most of them were very supportive after hearing about Falun Gong and the persecution.

I also started mailing Mainland China directly. Whenever I saw addresses published on Clearwisdom, I would type out a letter on my computer, print it out and mail it to China. Especially after I read in Master's lecture Touring North America to Teach the Fa, "Don't underestimate your sending even one flyer or one booklet to China, making one phone call there, or sending one fax there or sending all sorts of information--the effect is quite significant, and its effect in frightening and eliminating the evil is huge, truly huge", I became more diligent in this aspect.

Very quickly, summer flew by. The Washington D.C. Conference was announced. I had financial problems then, and my parents had to spend a lot of money on my education. I was not sure it was the right thing for me to go. Unexpectedly, I got an invitation from my relatives living near New Jersey. I immediately made arrangements to go to the Washington Conference and visit my relatives after that. I was especially glad to have gone to this conference, since I saw Master for the first time, and meeting with so many Dafa disciples truly helped my cultivation.

Immediately after the Conference, I ran into Xinxing tribulations with my relatives. My family in India had expressed their interest in learning Falun Gong after reading the books I had sent them, but I was surprised to find that my relatives in the US were worried about my practicing Falun Gong.

I realized that the old forces had taken advantage of my omission of sentimentality. Also, I had not clarified the truth to my family members, and had only talked a little bit about Falun Gong and the activities I was taking part in. I worked hard on my omissions and started to clarify the truth to them. I asked my aunt to read Falun Gong. She read the book the next day in 3 hours, and told me on the phone that she really liked the book, and was impressed by its righteousness! After that, she was very supportive of Falun Gong.

6. Stepping forward with confidence

The Washington D.C. Conference helped my cultivation and enthusiasm for validating the Fa. I began to be more and more confident of stepping forward to validate the Fa. Before the Fall semester at our university started, we went to the International Center at our university to clarify the truth to the Chinese students who would come there to get their insurance papers. Many Chinese people were quite surprised to find an Indian and an American handing out flyers about Falun Gong. Later, a Chinese person told me that he had never expected to hear about Falun Gong from anyone other than Chinese people!

Soon after this, my Fall semester started. Thanks to Master's benevolent arrangements, I was able to find enough time to continue doing Fa-rectification work, alongside everyday work.

I had heard that the head evil would visit the US in October, and I felt that it was a crucial chance for righteousness to defeat evil. I took a week off college and work to go to Texas. I realized in Texas how strong the power of practitioners working as one body was. Due to the coordinated efforts of Dafa practitioners in clarifying the truth and sending righteous thoughts, there was strong support for Falun Gong. While in Texas, I experienced the evil environment at close hand, which in our dimension manifested as stormy weather and extreme cold. My enlightened side was very strong, and I was able to send strong righteous thoughts. I felt that the evil had been struck a mortal blow due to the combined efforts of Dafa practitioners.

After coming back, we had to prepare for Ms. Zhang's art exhibition at Gainesville. Master's benevolent arrangements ensured that everything went well. Many people who came to the art exhibition expressed a strong interest in Falun Gong. The politicians whom we approached were very supportive, and expressed outrage at what was going on in China. The media also covered the event positively.

Soon after Ms. Zhang's exhibition, I realized that I had neglected one very important aspect of my cultivation -- complying with everyday society. I had been careless in my everyday work, excusing myself with "Oh, Fa-Rectification is the only thing that matters, nothing else is important." Master says in 'Attachment of Zealotry' in Zhuan Falun, "The majority of people in our school will practice cultivation in ordinary human society, so you should not distance yourself from ordinary human society and you must practice cultivation with a clear mind." I suddenly came across articles on Clearwisdom that stressed on the need to be clean in daily life, and to do our job well. Master tells us in 'Lecture at the Australia Fa Conference', "To cultivate while conforming to everyday people's society to the maximum extent is not just a simple sentence, this is the Fa! It's interconnected from every angle and perspective." "If you can't achieve this, it means that you're not acting according to my words, to Master's requirements." I realized that lethargy was the root of the problem. I was sleeping for long hours everyday. I started to sleep less, and I was surprised to find I was still feeling fresh throughout the day. I realized that it was Falun Gong that was keeping me going. I thus started balancing my everyday work with work for Dafa.

During the Thanksgiving weekend, the Philadelphia Conference was held. I felt that I would not have enough time or enough money to attend the conference. Once I made up my mind, things worked out well, and I was able to listen to Master in person again.

I have recently been calling up China to clarify the truth. I came to realize from my phone calls how weak and frightened the evil is. Whenever I call up the vile evil people who persecute Dafa practitioners, I tell them that I am a Western Dafa disciple and that Falun Dafa is good. I often hear a distinct pause before they rush to disconnect, and I know the evil controlling the person has been terrified by those simple and righteous words. I felt the truth of Master's words in 'Hurry Up and Tell Them',

"As Dafa disciples tell people the facts,
It's like sharp swords shooting out together from their mouths,
Shredding apart the rotten demons' lies."

In conclusion, I would like to say that I often feel inadequate in representing Master and Dafa during the Fa-Rectification. However, our most benevolent and compassionate Master has given me a chance to be a Dafa disciple during the Fa-rectification period. As Master says in answering a student's question in 'Lecture at the Australia Fa Conference',

"Student: Ever since childhood I've felt self-pity. Is self-pity also an attachment that should be removed?

Teacher: Correct. Get rid of it, as today you're the luckiest being in the cosmos. You're a Dafa student, and even Gods in the heavens are envious of you, so what is there for you to feel self-pity about."

I truly feel that I am one of the luckiest beings in the cosmos. I hope that I can do better, as we all can, merge into one body, shatter the evil persecution, and validate Dafa.

Thank you, Master. Thank you, fellow disciples.

(Shared at the 2003 Florida Experience Sharing Conference)