(Clearwisdom.net)
I obtained the Fa in 2001. Many times when I first studied the Fa, tears flowed down my face. I knew this was the benevolent Dafa displaying itself to me.
Over the past three years I've done a lot of work to spread Dafa. I participated in different activities, distributed flyers, made appeals, and so on. However, I had a fundamental attachment that I did not realize, namely, I was very upset with the ordinary world's degenerate moral standard. Therefore, when I began to practice Falun Dafa, unwittingly I took with me an attachment--I used to always think about how upright and comfortable a cultivators' environment has to be (so as to escape from the ordinary world's degeneration)].
After studying the Fa for a considerable amount of time, I realized that this was a deviated mentality that I had developed in the ordinary world. I failed to understand the Fa from the Fa and failed to treat Dafa practitioners' cultivation environment as a sacred and pure land.
Moreover, when I failed to cultivate well in my personal cultivation, I also failed to clarify the truth well. I realized that when I did not understand the Fa-truths clearly, I would have an unclear state of mind. When I did not do well, the old forces would dare to interfere and put bad thoughts into my head.
They want to diminish our righteous thoughts. It is even more difficult to detect it if we are still attached to ordinary people's self-blame and feelings of guilt. In my cultivation I would feel regretful if I didn't do well. Even when I sat in meditation, I failed to calm my mind. When I became afraid and worried over my attachments, I got attached even more, which became a burden and formed a negative energy field that interfered with my righteous thoughts.
For those practitioners who feel that they have failed to do well in an area, I would like to say that we shouldn't develop new attachments because we have not done well. At a sacred moment like this, any attachment can be used to create illusions to obstruct the Fa-rectification.
"Some students show their attachments, but some students don't, they keep them inside and they're incredibly attached, and in the end they can't let them go on their own. The evil will make you more and more abnormal, and make you fall hard--so hard you'll never forget it for the rest of your life. That's how they do it, so don't get attached so much." (Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference)
Isn't this precisely my situation?
On the surface it seemed as if I was being diligent, yet actually I was carrying around this unneeded baggage and ordinary people's rigid ways of thinking, and I failed to calm my mind to eliminate ordinary people's attachments. When I thought it over rationally, I realized that I still had not done very well. I was trapped by ordinary people's trivial matters, and it was precisely because of my attachments that I was in a difficult situation.
I realized that perhaps, comparatively speaking, my cultivation had gone to the other extreme. If we don't consider ourselves as true cultivators, think that we don't even deserve to become true cultivators, or don't kick our bad habit of blaming ourselves or others, the old forces will be very happy to create thought karma or sickness karma and turn the most trivial matter into the most difficult problem. In addition, they will try to create illusions from this and make it look as if we have done very badly. This is a very dangerous situation, and anything we think of might turn into reality.
I think that other than our cultivation, we shouldn't make such a big deal out of interference. As Teacher said,
"...no matter who is interfering, it's all temporary, all illusions, not the main body, and it's all just like air flowing through" (Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference).
Undoubtedly, Teacher says that those who have not done well should redouble their efforts. However, I think some people have had a wrong understanding because of this, and have become overanxious, which has created unnecessary pressure on themselves. This redoubling of one's efforts is not ordinary human's making up for mistakes, regret, or self-blame.
Validating Dafa and saving sentient beings should not become a burden on our minds. Validating Dafa is a precious mission and the greatest honor. We need to take a fresh look at things from a correct point of view, cultivate in the Fa, and start all over so that we can do better.
On my college campus, I often run into people who want to understand the truth about Falun Dafa. My relatives and friends also want to listen. I also run into people like that on the train and bus. Those encounters don't happen by accident. One time, I dreamed of many people practicing the exercises on the big lawn in front of campus and I could hear clearly the song Pudu. Some people's hands were in the hand gesture of Jieyin [conjoined hands] and some were doing the fourth exercise. I couldn't help asking myself, "How long have they been waiting for me?"
A few weeks ago, I lost my monthly bus ticket. I looked all over for it, but still couldn't find it. Thus I had to purchase a new ticket every day, and that was extra trouble and also very expensive.
When I learned that fellow practitioners were going to hold a painting exhibition, I thought about letting my classmates know about this. Regardless of their having incorrect understandings of Dafa and regardless of who they were on the surface, all I wanted to do was to let them understand Dafa. I felt that the old forces were doing their best to stop me and I was doing my best to eliminate them. When I stood on the platform and informed everybody about this news, everything was resolved. I saw so many longing eyes. Yes, they are here to learn the truth about Dafa.
Since they study pharmacology, I didn't expect my classmates to go see the painting exhibition. I just wanted to use the opportunity to tell them a touching story about a Dafa practitioner. I knew they were listening quietly. I could feel that their "truthfulness" was gradually emerging from their hearts and they gradually came to understand everything. After I finished my announcement, I returned to my seat and opened a notebook. There lay my monthly bus ticket. I finally found it.
More and more I can feel Dafa's power.
A Story on Being Vigilant after Suffering a Loss.
A long time ago, there was a man who herded over a dozen sheep. One morning, he noticed that one sheep was missing from the sheep corral. The reason was because there was an opening on the door of the corral, so the sheep went out through the opening and ran away. A neighbor told him to fix the door quickly. The man said, "Since the sheep is already gone, what's the use of fixing the door?" The next day he discovered that another sheep was missing, for the sheep had escaped from the same opening. This time the man understood his neighbor's words and immediately repaired the door. After that, he never lost a sheep.
What this means is that, when we make mistakes, we must correct them immediately. It's not too late. We cannot let one sheep after another run away. I think to myself, ordinary people can understand this logic, not to mention our Dafa practitioners. It was Teacher who gives me hints. Could we not know what to do? As a matter of fact, Teacher has been guiding and encouraging us all the time.
Let's be more rational and clearheaded and not blemish this rare and precious path of Fa-rectification.
We cultivate and validate the Fa in order to save sentient beings. Through our cultivation in Dafa, if we are always able to follow the Fa whenever we act, we will be able to develop righteous thoughts naturally, and our righteous thoughts will sparkle brightly.