Shared at 2003 European Falun Dafa Conference

(Clearwisdom.net) I am thankful for the many practitioners' articles that I have read which have helped me be steadfast in my path of cultivation. I hope this article will also be encouraging and help you in your journey as a Fa-Rectification disciple.

I have often felt that I am constantly trying to "catch up," to no avail, and always somehow behind. I would evaluate myself and wonder if I was making any progress at all. My thoughts were turned to myself. Then I had a dream that helped me realize what it is to be "in the Fa" and how we are all "one body:"

I was in the middle of an incredibly vast and very still lake of special water that was not wet. I felt alone and desperate, thinking that I might drown. I looked into the distance, hoping that a small boat would come my way or that a life vest would be thrown in my direction. I was full of anxiety, locked into stubbornly thinking that I must be saved in a certain way. Although I did not have much trouble floating, I still felt desperate, thinking of how I should try to get a boat. To my left, the distance between myself and the shore was so far that the people there were merely dots on the horizon. Straight ahead of me I could see, far far away, a practitioner whom I have always felt was much more diligent than myself and whom often encouraged me to look inside myself. I saw this practitioner standing above the water, much at ease and talking to someone. While seeing such calmness, something shifted in me. I realized the absurdity of waiting for a boat or a piece of driftwood to hang on to.

I knew I had to go there. I simply had to be there! With this one thought of determination, in less than a split second, I instantly found myself standing next to the practitioner who was clarifying the truth to a news agency in front of a TV camera crew. In my heart I felt ready to do the same, to embody truth, compassion, forbearance and clarify the truth to as many people as I could.

This dream helped me understand more fully how one thought can make all the difference. It also helped me realize how important it is to be with other practitioners so that one does not fall back to being an everyday person. Maybe in my dream if I had not seen the other practitioner in such a calm and well-cultivated state, I would still be swimming helplessly looking for a life vest. Instead of going along with the arrangements of the old forces, I was beginning to clarify the truth.

I started doing the exercises in the mornings together with two other practitioners in a park where many Chinese tourists frequently visit. One day the other practitioners had to leave earlier than usual. Letting go of my fear of being left alone, I decided to stay in the park to do the fifth exercise. I felt delight in being determined. As I meditated I was able to enter ding for a short while and felt very tranquil.

After about 25 minutes I heard a crowd of Chinese tourists arguing with each other. In between their loud talking I heard them say several times "Falun Gong,".... "Falun Gong." Then, just when the music was fading, I heard them walking towards me. I placed my hands in heshi and slowly opened my eyes, seeing the feet of the Chinese tourists forming a semi-circle in front of me. When I opened my eyes completely, I saw them staring at me, astounded. I was happy to see them, as though they had been my long forgotten relatives. In contrast, they looked at me as though they questioned my existence, as though I was a strange and rare species that had been extinct long ago which suddenly had been re-discovered. I became surprised by how shocked they were. I said the few words I know in Chinese, "Ni hao" (hello). Some of them answered back questioningly "Ni hao?!"

Then I took some Chinese language flyers from my bag and handed them out to each of them. After they talked to me in Chinese and realized that I could only speak a few words in Chinese. One man angrily said in English "Where are you from?!" "I'm from America," I answered. Although my heart was pounding stronger than usual, I felt calm. Then he stated sternly, "I am from Beijing!" He stared at me as though I had insulted him just because I practice Falun Dafa. It was peculiar how I felt -- very, very small but at the same time very gigantic. Then a woman pointed at my yellow scarf and asked, "How did you learn that?" I explained that I had learned the exercises from a friend and that I learned from reading Zhuan Falun, which has been translated into more than 10 languages. She seemed surprised and curious. Then another angry man yelled something at me in Chinese, pointing at the flyer. Then he threw it at me. I felt very sad for him. As I picked up the flyer from the ground, I explained that Falun Dafa is freely practiced in more than 60 countries around the world. Some of them seemed to think that I was lying, while others were simply shocked and rather curious. Then they walked away. As I stood up from the lotus position, the curious woman together with an elderly man walked back towards me. The old man was smiling as he held out his hand holding the flyer. The woman warmly said, "He wants to give it back to you." I smiled back as I felt the warmth around us during such a cold winter day. I thanked Teacher.

This experience repeated itself in my mind several times. I had witnessed firsthand how deceived the Chinese tourists were. I wanted them to know the truth! I felt that just my presence as a practitioner was just the beginning for them to realize that they had been poisoned by so many lies. I thought of all of the practitioners in China steadfastly cultivating Dafa surrounded by such an environment and felt the strong connection with them: Practitioners in the East and in the West rectifying the Fa, guided by our Master.

Looking back at my previous attachments, after this experience I was not afraid anymore of potentially damaging the Fa. On the contrary, I felt the urgency to be more diligent, to assimilate to "Zhen-Shan-Ren," to clarify the truth, and send righteous thoughts, as best as I can. With this thought my heart was at peace. I could distinguish my true self and protect Zhen-Shan-Ren.