Shared at the 2003 European Falun Dafa Conference
(Clearwisdom.net) When I was asked to write an experience sharing paper, I thought at first that I had nothing to say, but after having talked with a practitioner, I thought it over and compared my state of being now with how I was at the beginning. I realized that - while feeling I had not made much effort - I had in fact changed considerably. Of course I can still make mistakes, as I have still much to learn. Please correct me if you see something inappropriate.
In order to clarify the truth to the people and appeal for help from kind hearted people, we walked to Bern. It was wonderful! Of course we had sore feet and stiff muscles as we are not walkers, but we thought about the practitioners in China and everything became easy. We were very pleased to do this walk and from the outset I felt that Master was with us, above us, like a shield. We continued on our way while doing Fa Zheng Nian (sending forth righteous thoughts) as often as possible and I really had the impression that we were like a shining light chasing away the shadows - it was magnificent!
Master has asked us to reach out to the Chinese people. I don't speak Chinese, so what could I do? I learned how to introduce myself in Chinese and to say "Falun Dafa Hao". (Falun Dafa is good.) Then, as I was working every morning and did not want to telephone people in the evening, I went down to the basement so as not to disturb my family, and I called China. I was quickly disillusioned. There were three reactions at the end of the other line: astonished silence, and I hung up after repeating my message several times; people laughing and calling others to come and listen, and everyone laughing together. I felt it was not good for them and hung up. Rarely did the person speak to me, as I did not understand what he was saying, it was like talking to a wall.
I then decided to write a letter. I had it translated into Chinese, then copied it by hand because I wanted people to see that it really was written by a westerner. It took me a quarter of an hour to do one line. Upon completion of the letter something unusual happened. I have always considered China a country of suffering, a very complicated civilization, and I was not drawn to that country. But after having written the letter it was as if a little of China had entered into me and I thought of China as my own country, with nostalgia for having left it and for having left beloved beings there. How strange! I sent this letter by e-mail after scanning it in.
I should like to speak to you also on another matter. All my life I have fought against anger. It is said that while we are angry, we do things to hurt those we love. When it is over there remains only regret and suffering. When I began practicing Falun Gong in 1998, I had already made some progress and was able to control myself so as not to strike out at people or things. The anger nevertheless remained intense.
I have a son, born in 1992. He does not understand that a child must obey and respect his parents and adults; he thinks that adults should do what they want and buy what they want. We have not yet succeeded in reasoning with him. I have always given a lot of importance to freedom. It was hard for me to set limits for him because this was also setting limits for myself and it was very disagreeable. However, I realized that I was hiding behind this word, to protect my comfort. I became aware of a "root" attachment, the fear of this. This fear hinders me like heavy chains that I carry with the excess kilos on my physical body and with the impression that I do nothing but waste my time in trivial matters. I did not know how to get rid of this attachment, and it felt like an impassable mountain. I asked Master to show me how to do it. The reply I received was to read the book Zhuan Falun.
When I find myself in a situation reflecting this attachment, I tell myself to think about it: is it good for the Great Law if I do it? If so, I should do it whether I like it or not, and things will improve. This attachment was hidden behind words like freedom and respect for others. To be truly free is to be able to do what is necessary without the hindrance of any attachment; to respect others is not to leave people in their "comfortable" state but to try to be true, kind and patient so that they may feel the effect of these values in their heart, and perhaps wish to develop these values for themselves, all of which will bring them a better future. I have only just discovered this of course and have still much work to do on this subject.
I would like to show my gratitude to our Teacher. I am certain that, thanks to Teacher, the future universe will be still more magnificent than any other universe from the past.
