(Clearwisdom.net)
One of the articles published on Clearwisdom.net on December 10 2003 was entitled "Understanding Jiang Zemin's Persecution as the Most Wicked Ever in History." It contained different understandings on this topic. Here I would like to share my understanding from the perspective of analyzing the nature of the persecution. My article will also serve as an appeal against the persecution policies of Jiang Zemin.
In 2000, I went to Tiananmen Square for a second time to appeal to higher authorities regarding the persecution of Falun Gong. Some patrol officers from the "610" office arrested me. They took me back to my hometown, forced me into a brainwashing class, and closely monitored me twenty-four hours a day. We didn't have any personal freedom. They locked us up and forced us to watch video programs defaming Falun Dafa and Teacher. We also had to listen speeches by those collaborators who used to practice Dafa yet later renounced their belief under pressure and now actively help persecute true Falun Dafa practitioners. They were cursing Dafa. They also pressured our families to make us to give up practicing Dafa. I hadn't studied the Falun Dafa teachings very well and also wasn't mentally prepared for the extent of the cruel persecution. I hesitated. Eventually I wrote the "guarantee letters" to renounce my belief. I thought I would regain freedom after I declared that I was giving up practicing Dafa. I thought it would end the tortures that I suffered at the hands of the police. I totally forgot the principles that Teacher taught, which resulted in a loss that can't be made up.
After I came back from the brainwashing class, the local Community Committee monitored me every day. They also came to my home frequently to harass and pressure me. During "sensitive" times (e.g. when the People's Congress or the Party has a meeting or when it's around July 20th, the date when Jiang personally launched the persecution of Falun Gong), the local "610" office even hired some unemployed workers to monitor me twenty-four hours every day. This created a lot of pressure and had a very bad impact on my relationship with my neighbors, who wanted to avoid me due to the police harassment. I came to realize that the police simply wouldn't stop persecuting good people, such as me. This experience made me see through their ulterior motives. Rereading Teacher's articles on the Fa-rectification period, I gradually became clear-minded. I felt extremely guilty about what I did. I let Teacher down. On Clearwisdom.net, I declared that my words and deeds under forced brainwashing were null and void. However, I was still deeply hurt. I spent every minute and every second in pain. It was mental torture. I realized how evil Jiang's persecution of Dafa was because it slowly destroys any goodness in people's hearts. What they did was to torture those who live their lives according to Truth, Compassion and Tolerance. However, the Jiang regime and its followers put on a kind face and claimed the brainwashing and the physical torture is meant to help Dafa practitioners. When they persecute Falun Dafa practitioners, they try to involve as many people as possible. They even harass the employers of the practitioners. In this way, they try to drive people away from Dafa using pressure and implication strategies. Now some people are even scared to death when they hear the words "Falun Gong." We can see how widely and deeply the lies that the Jiang regime has spread! Those lies fabricated in order to justify the persecution have deceived people and poisoned sentient beings. However, this kind of poison is difficult to see, which is why Jiang Zemin's persecution is the most wicked ever in history.
I read the news on the Internet that many fellow practitioners suffered rather inhumane torture and even lost their lives rather than renounce their belief. They used their wisdom and extraordinary abilities to suffocate and eliminate the evil and to validate Falun Dafa. Comparing their acts to what I did, I knew I had committed a serious crime against the Dafa. It was Teacher's boundless compassion that encouraged me. Teacher said in Touring North America to Teach the Fa,
"Indeed, as long as there's still one day when the persecution hasn't ended, that day is an opportunity. Use it well, do better, come back sooner, and don't miss any more opportunities. Don't dwell on your past mistakes -- if you've made mistakes, then do well from now on. Don't think about the thing that have happened. Think about how to do well from now on, and become truly responsible to yourself and to sentient beings."
I felt that in these words, Teacher held my hand and led me forward. I cried.
Teacher also said in Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference,
"Yes! You know, in the past it was hard to cultivate the Dao. When facing a test, as soon as someone had one sub-par thought, he would lose the chance forever to cultivate the Dao, and that was for sure. The old forces think that's how I look at it too. 'Okay, now that we've forced him to write some kind of document, you, Li Hongzhi, you can't keep him now since he betrayed you. You've done so much to save him, yet he betrayed you. You definitely can't keep him. And what's to be done if he can't be kept? Eliminate him.' That's how the old forces think, and that's how they've arranged things. But I haven't done things that way--I will save him. He didn't do well today, but aren't you old forces still persecuting people? I'll have him do things over tomorrow, and definitely have him do them well! (Applause) Hasn't what's happened proven that Dafa disciples have become more and more rational, become more and more clearheaded, and done better and better? Aren't they more and more determined?! (Applause) When you ultimately really do become determined, then all of what you did in the past can only be the cultivation process playing out. That's really how it is. Master is handling this matter with the greatest compassion. (Applause)"
Teacher's words opened my heart. I no longer felt lost. I will make good use of the last chance to walk each step righteously and well. With the purest heart, I will do well in those three things that Teacher told us to do. I will clarify the truth, expose and restrain the evil and save more sentient beings.