(Clearwisdom.net) My father was sick a while ago, so I went to his house to take care of him. Led by the sentimental attachment of affection among family members, I was busy with the housework all day and slacked off on studying the Falun Dafa books and sending righteous thoughts. The evil forces took advantage of this and my body experienced serious sickness-karma reactions. I was extremely nauseous and vomited repeatedly. In just a few days, I became so weak that I was unable to get up. I felt dazed and drowsy every day, and slept lethargically day and night.
After two nights, in a dream, I heard a voice say, "You'll be drowned." The surroundings were gloomy, and someone was walking back and forth under my bed. On the third day, in my dream someone said, "You are dying. Your life is ending." I felt as if many people were walking back and forth under my bed, and shouting: "Liu Fengyun is dying! Liu Fengyun is dying!" I thought I was really dying. However, another thought entered my mind, "The Fa-rectification has not finished yet, and I haven't completed my mission yet." I suddenly realized: "I can't die. My path is arranged by my Teacher. Any other arrangements mean nothing. I must follow my Teacher."
At this time, I remembered what Teacher told us in the lecture "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A."
"While you were in human society, lost in delusion, you might very well have signed some kind of pact with the old forces, like for example, 'During the Fa-rectification I will do such and such or take such and such path on a certain day.'" Teacher also said that, "A being's choice is up to him, even if he made some kind of vow in history. At critical moments it's still up to him what he wants to do." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A.")
As a Falun Dafa practitioner, I came to help Teacher to rectify the Fa and to save sentient beings. I did not come to be manipulated by the evil forces. I could not accept the persecution by the evil forces. I sat up to send righteous thoughts. I asked Teacher to help me to eliminate the evil forces that took advantage of my attachments and karma in order to persecute me, and to eliminate the dark minions of the old forces and the rotten spirits that disrupted the Fa. I began to listen to Teacher's lectures on audiotape.
Many practitioners came to see me and encouraged me to overcome the tribulations. They carried me to my own home. The interference was very strong on my way back home, as the evil forces made their last-ditch struggle. When I got home, practitioners not only took care of me, but also studied Fa and sent righteous thoughts with me to eliminate the interference. Many other practitioners helped to send righteous thoughts for me when they heard of my situation. All these things helped me to come through the tribulations. I recovered fairly quickly. Our merciful Teacher saved me again from the edge of death.
In the "Fa-Lecture During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference", Teacher told us,
"If a Dafa disciple acts righteously, then nothing dares to enter the surface part that hasn't been fully cultivated yet. For one thing, old beings don't dare to disrupt the old cosmos's Fa, and another thing is that you have Master and you have Law-guardian Gods. If the attachments at your human-surface side aren't removed, then Master and the Law-guardian Gods are put in a tough position. But if your righteous thoughts are strong, then Master and the Law-guardian Gods can do anything for you."
I studied the Fa, and looked inside myself. I found that I had slacked off in Fa-study in these days. I had rarely sent righteous thought or practiced the exercises. I was not truly assimilating to the Fa. I forgot that I was a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. At the same time, I still had the attachment of sentimentality. It was hidden so deeply that I was unable to perceive it sometimes. My husband had been imprisoned in the labor camp for more than two years for upholding his belief in Falun Dafa. I was told that he would be released during the New Year holiday. However, he was not released. I was very sad when I got the news. In the next few days, my body experienced sickness karma reactions. I didn't pay much attention to it, which caused the big tribulation this time. Thanks to Teacher's merciful protection, I was able to survive it.
Learning from the painful experience, I realized that I truly needed to dig out the deep reasons for why this happened. I could not continue to make this mistake. Only if we give up our concerns of fame, self-interest and sentimentality on a fundamental level, treat ourselves as true Fa-rectification period Dafa disciples, study the Fa well and assimilate to the Fa, can we completely negate the old forces' arrangement and walk the Fa-rectification paths arranged by Teacher. Through this lesson, I profoundly realized the seriousness of cultivating the righteous Fa. If we don't set strict requirements for ourselves, we are irresponsible to ourselves, irresponsible to the sentient beings and irresponsible to Dafa. It was the merciful Teacher who gave me my second, and now my third, life. I must do my best to be worthy of Teacher's merciful and arduous salvation.
The above is my personal understanding. Please kindly point out anything inappropriate.
