As a Falun Dafa practitioner, the thoughts we have possess a certain energy and have the power to affect things in other dimensions. Thus, it is important to have righteous thoughts as much as possible, and as often as possible. There are some cases where our unrighteous thoughts born from attachments are so strong that they become fixed and form into notions, making them difficult to detect. We may not even notice them for a long time, and attempt to move forward in our cultivation without realizing that this aspect of our unrectified character is holding our overall progress back.
The attachment to "feeling inferior" is one such notion that I recently realized has permeated my being and has sought to control me from different angles, exerting pressure in other dimensions that was difficult to pinpoint. Its presence was felt, but its origin seemed difficult to identify, even when physical manifestations occurred, such as feeling tired or lazy. Here I would like to share some experiences and personal understandings at my current level on the attachment to feeling inferior.
In the world today, it has become normal to compete and struggle to stand out above others, to be unusual or rare, interesting or funny, fun to be around, witty and intelligent, and accomplished in academic work or professional endeavors. The result of these struggles is that it can become natural to fall into the trap of living up to the standards or expectations of others. As a cultivator, this essentially means living up to the standards of ordinary people. For example, with a prestigious job that demonstrates professional accomplishment and success and a paycheck that allows one to obtain material possessions for an opulent or comfortable lifestyle, one is considered to have accomplished certain things that make them more socially acceptable. Being unemployed or working at a job that is low-paying or labor intensive vs. academically or professionally challenging can carry a certain stigma, especially within well-educated or professional social circles and families. Thus one is faced with the discouraging task of living up to the standards and ideals of others.
In fact, these relationships themselves are karmic arrangements that--for non-practitioners--are arranged to play out during their lifetimes in a specific way. Whether somebody criticizes or praises you, is supportive or undermining of your path in life, and your personal goals and level of accomplishment are all arranged based on karmic retribution and predestined relationship.
As cultivators of Falun Dafa, the path of our lives was arranged anew when we obtained the Fa and began to cultivate, putting us outside of these original arrangements. The approval or disapproval inherent in the opinions or views of others, including family members and close friends, has changed. They now exist as tests and tribulations that are opportunities to upgrade our Xinxing (heart or mind nature), refine our hearts, and strive forward on our path of Fa-rectification cultivation. It is important that as members of whatever part of society we live in, we make positive contributions through our upright conduct and steadfast faith as Falun Dafa practitioners on the path that Master has arranged for us. But we should not pursue the sense of accomplishment and personal satisfaction that ordinary people gain from having done something well in work or at home on their pre-arranged path of life.
Take the example of our attitude toward doing Dafa work to clarify the truth and save sentient beings. Even in this sacred task we allow our actions to be affected by the attachment of thinking we are not good enough, or less than others. A typical way this manifests is in practitioners being "busy" and having so many projects and responsibilities that they find it difficult to complete any of their tasks well, or to complete them at all. So how does feeling inferior play into this type of behavior? Maybe a practitioner is asked to help on a large-scale project that will take a lot of their time. But after agreeing to participate and contribute they also take on various other tasks and projects, getting pulled in this direction and that direction, making it difficult to follow through on anything. If the practitioner feels that they need to be involved with many things and doing many things in order to be worthy of being a Dafa disciple, then perhaps they are being led by the notion that the worth of their being is measured in the volume of Dafa work they do. Yet if we take on many things to cover up and hide the notion of self-worth and the attachment of longing for approval from others for a job well done, then it can become very difficult to do things with a pure heart and right thoughts.
The attachment of feeling inferior is a distracting and destructive force that eats away at the inner core of our heart and makes it difficult to strive forward diligently on the noble path of Fa-rectification. Thinking one is less than others can also aggravate other attachments such as competitiveness and jealousy. Becoming obsessed with what one has not done well in the past leads to being trapped within an infinite sphere of disillusionment, making the path of cultivation seemingly impossible or insurmountable. It is from within this sphere of self-loathing and self-criticism that countless loopholes are opened up, creating the potential for long-term tribulations. One regrets not waking up early to practice the exercises and makes criticizing comments during the day about sleeping too late and missing the opportunity. Perhaps they then end up wasting time that could have been spent clarifying the truth or sending righteous thoughts. Perhaps they create more karma for themselves by treating their own selves in a way that does not comply with a practitioner's standard of compassion. The opportunity to eliminate the attachment of feeling inferior is missed, and the next morning the incident repeats itself. If cases like this continue to cycle onward, the black matter accumulated from the unrighteous thoughts of the practitioner will create even more difficulty. Where there was once a hill, now there is a mountain.
The thoughts that cultivators of a righteous way emanate have very strong energy. The gong of Falun Dafa disciples can fix things in a certain place, as our thoughts are material existence emanating from our own selves. What we think knowingly and consciously comes from our true self, therefore we should strive to cultivate the thoughts of our knowing self to be as pure, compassionate, dignified, and upright as possible. This begins with our thoughts towards our own self. If a negative thought toward our self emanates from our minds, is that our true being? Our original existence that we are returning to in the process of cultivation was created in the space of the universe and was assimilated to the nature of the universe, "Zhen-Shan-Ren," when it was created. Therefore what we know of as our true self from our cultivation in Dafa should tell us that unrighteous thoughts of self-criticism, self-loathing, and judgment are factors of the old cosmos and not part of our true being.
In regards to the attachment of feeling inferior, I feel that as cultivators of Falun Dafa we should openly address this problem in ourselves if we find that we still have this attachment. If we look inside when we encounter difficulties in making solid progress in cultivation, and find that the attachment of feeling inferior exists, we should eliminate it thoroughly with our most righteous thoughts. We should let go of our past mistakes without fear of reprisal and commit ourselves anew to the noble path of Fa-rectification, saying without hesitation from our true hearts, "I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. I cultivate in the righteous Way. I will let go of my past mistakes and strive forward to surpass the arrangements of the old cosmos."
I wrote this article to share some personal understandings at my current level and to encourage my fellow practitioners who may have been struggling with letting go of the attachment to feeling inferior. If there is anything incorrect, please kindly point it out.
Category: Journeys of Cultivation