(Clearwisdom.net) "We'd say that a good or bad outcome comes from one thought. The difference in one thought leads to different results." (The Fourth Lecture in Zhuan Falun) When I reviewed my thoughts along my cultivation path, I realized that the evil factors have been watching me, trying to make use of every possible opportunity to impose the persecution on me. Meanwhile, Teacher has been by my side giving me hints and protecting me.
I clearly remember the first time I went to the local "610 Office" to clarify the truth to the staff. I thought, "I am not afraid of anything. I will follow Teacher's guidance until the end. Teacher, please don't leave me behind." It should be obvious that the true purpose of my action was to not be left behind rather than to validate the Fa. It was a selfish thought and showed my attachment to self. The result was that I was illegally taken into custody at the local police substation.
The first time I went to Tiananmen Square on behalf of Falun Dafa I thought, "Is this kind of behavior correct? Am I getting involved in politics?" I hesitated. With the help of fellow practitioners, I came to realize that such a thought was interference from the evil factors. Eventually I did what I had planned to do. However, when the malicious police started to beat and arrest us, I heard a practitioner claim that the police car was a "Fa boat" in another dimension. I therefore went to the police car thinking to myself, "Teacher, please don't leave me behind." The first time I distributed truth-clarification materials, I thought, "This is what Teacher asked Falun Dafa practitioners to do." I didn't understand that my purpose was to assist Teacher in saving sentient beings and that validating the Fa is a practitioner's highest priority. I was severely persecuted because of my heart of pursuit and selfishness and other attachments.
Later, with continuous Fa-study and sharing my understandings with fellow practitioners, I came to understand that it is our responsibility as Falun Dafa practitioners to validate the Fa and save sentient beings. It is not a job and we are not working for anybody. After that, I was able to deny the evil's arrangements and persecution when validating the Fa. I truly felt that Teacher was by my side. However, I didn't study the Fa enough. I began to have attachments of zealotry and showing off. I enjoyed others' praises. The evil factors soon took advantage of my omissions and started to persecute me. During the persecution, I tried to avoid suffering and couldn't help thinking, "In case I cause damage to the Fa because I'm unable to withstand the tortures, I probably would be better off if I didn't step forward to clarify the truth." Such a thought reflected my selfishness, and I was persecuted because of my selfishness and my attachment to self. The evil factors took it as their excuse to persecute me, because I didn't improve in the Fa. After fellow practitioners rescued me, I couldn't step forward any more, because I put my personal safety above all. Fortunately, fellow practitioners pointed this out to me. I realized that, in my heart, I was critical of other practitioners when they couldn't step forward instead of helping them out in the Fa to see it from their own standpoint. I came to understand that stepping out of everyday people's notions is the true stepping forward.
