Greetings Master
Greetings Fellow Practitioners
It had taken me some time to have the courage to write to Clearwisdom.net. I
should have written my experiences very much earlier. However, I have not done
well in maintaining my righteous thoughts in this particular issue. I have
recently understood that it is every Dafa practitioner's duty to share our
personal cultivation experiences.
The other reason that I could not bring myself to write about my cultivation
experiences was because I was extremely ashamed of my past, which I have now
realized is an attachment.
Before my cultivation journey, I was a member of a secret society. I had always
had extreme views in life. I always thought that being in a secret society
maintained a so-called righteousness. In addition, my temper might have gotten
me killed on the streets. Ironically, I was aware of heaven, hell and karma.
I was damaging society with my behavior, yet I had been properly educated and
had always been religious. I was brought up as a Buddhist. I prayed almost every
day for certain directions in life, luck, money, safety, and the things that
everyday people want.
Little did I know that Master decided to scoop me out from hell when my mother
passed me Zhuan Falun in the year 2002.
As it was a warped response by a normal person, I asked my mother if it was the
so-called [...] (slanderous words Jiang regime uses) that China banned. She calmly asked me to read
through Zhuan Falun and see for
myself, which I did.
I was extremely blessed that I had not been poisoned too deeply by the
propaganda spread by the Chinese government. I did not reject Zhuan Falun.
On the contrary, I was fascinated with Zhuan Falun. I decided to read It
every night if I could. On some occasions, I read until my eyes could not stay
focused. I think it was approximately 3 a.m.
After reading Zhuan Falun over and over for a few times, I came to
understand that I did not want to lead a barbaric and sinful life any longer. I
also came to understand that I was not heading towards hell; I was already in
Hell.
I decided to leave the secret society completely. There were not any hassles in
my doing so, unlike for others whom had experienced complications in such a
decision. I believed Master had benevolently resolved the particular issue to
prepare me for my cultivation journey.
Not too long after that, a friend of mine was assassinated and some others went
to jail. I came to understand that I could have suffered the same fate if it
wasn't for Master, who showered a wretched person like me with His compassion by
allowing me the chance to obtain the Fa.
Yet, I still was not diligent. I was quite ignorant. The reason, I believe, was
not being serious in Fa study.
At the end of 2003, I experienced some interference, so shocking to myself,
that I came to enlighten to the fact that cultivation is really an extremely
serious issue, not child's play, as Master has cautioned us.
Right then, I had two options. One option was to continue cultivating as
diligently as possible. The second option was to give up cultivation and be an
everyday person.
My true conscience chose the first option.
Following this, I attended an experience sharing conference in Singapore. Again,
I came to realize that Master had indeed arranged my stay with another veteran
practitioner who shared with me regarding the three things that Master taught
practitioners to do: to study the Fa, send righteous thoughts, and clarify the
truth.
I came back to Malaysia completely cured from the need for sleeping pills and
anti-anxiety pills, to which I had been addicted for quite some time.
From then on, my cultivation did not have as much interference as before.
However, I still have my shortcomings. I recognize my slow maturity in
cultivation.
One of my attachments was that I was worried that I could not consummate when
the Fa rectifies the human world. It became a burden to me for months to come.
At the same time, whenever I doubted my own cultivation progress, Master showed
me Falun, having them manifest in various sets of photographs that I took.
Later, I came to understand that I shall do whatever I may, to fulfill my 3
duties daily, regardless of whether I belong to the current group of Fa-rectification
period Dafa disciples, or the next group. The ultimate decision is with Master,
and only Master shall place me wherever I belong. As was mentioned by Master
recently -
"It's a case of reaping what you sow."
(In Fa-Rectification Your Thoughts Have to be Righteous, Not Human)
I seem to recall that cultivation was extremely tedious in the beginning. I
was occasionally in conflict with many of my human notions
Now, though, I have lost quite a huge amount of the stress and anger I used
to experience, especially when I drive.
I use to have bad asthma. The severe sickness karma has now disappeared. Since I
have only been serious in cultivation from last December, I understand that the
reactions I may continue to sometimes experience may be trials. I also came to
understand that it is not interference if it does not affect my validating the
Fa.
I was once very distraught over the fact that I cannot communicate in Mandarin
to clarify the truth. Later, I came to understand that my communication in
English also serves a purpose in clarifying the truth to the English speaking
community, as Malaysia is a multi-cultural country. Master mentioned that
nothing happens in isolation. I now understand that my English speaking
background is not a coincidence, either.
Driving down the road recently, my brakes did not work. Neither I nor my car was
scratched. I came to understand that Master had again saved me. On the other
hand, it was also a hint that I should not drive too fast.
Thank you Master, for everything. As a matter of fact, I believe that my
gratitude can never be adequately expressed with the words of our human realm.
However much I may continue to cultivate and serve Dafa, it will be my pleasure
to do so. I can truly say that I understand now, at my level, what it means when
Master thought us that Lao Zi said
"If one hears the Tao in the morning, one can die without regret in the evening."
Of course, I also came to enlighten that it is of utmost importance that
practitioners of the
current Fa-rectification period should not leave this human realm before the Fa
rectifies
the human world. There's too much to do, yet too little time, and we must not go
to extremes.
The above is my understanding. If there is anything inappropriate, please
correct me.