Shared at 2005 Australia Falun Dafa Conference
(Clearwisdom.net) Greetings to Master Li!
Greetings to fellow practitioners!
I am glad to have this chance to share my cultivation experience here.
1. Tests on My Cultivation Path
After I came to Canada to study in1998, my classmate introduced me to Dafa, but I developed some complacency, as I had been bothered by cheating and mistrust in the human world. I seemed to find another excuse to avoid the everyday conflicts.
Such a mentality caused a longstanding weakness in my cultivation. Particularly after July 1999, we started the Fa-rectification period without a solid foundation in individual cultivation. As a student, my time was more flexible than others, so I took part of the responsibility to clarify the truth to the government and western society. At that time, not many people had heard about Falun Gong and we started everything from scratch and asked for people's help.
At the same time, my school study was very busy. I felt the choice between my personal career and Dafa work was selfless at that level, to let go my personal career and interests and sacrifice a lot of time to make up for the void in Dafa work. But the requirement of Dafa won't stay at one level forever. Once I let go personal interests another test soon followed.
Pressure at school became more intense and I could not finish my thesis. My schoolmates and professors started to have a negative impression of me, that because of practicing Dafa, I didn't study well and couldn't finish writing my paper. My family also had misunderstandings about Dafa. At that time, I really felt bitter in my mind, not just for the pressure and misunderstandings, but more for my own limitation in cultivation, which caused losses to Dafa and prevented the people around me from understanding the truth and being saved. During those days, I felt like I was living under a big mountain and could not even breathe easily. How could I pass this mountain-like test? I kept asking myself if I could still continue cultivating and if I could still firmly believe in Dafa, even if it meant losing everything. I told myself that even if I lost everything, including my life, I would not give up cultivation. I calmed down to study the Fa and cleanse myself.
I started to realize that there were many attachments behind my previous "selfish sacrifice" for Dafa: the attachment to consummation, and a fear of losing the opportunity to establish my mighty virtue. Master Li told us to be good persons in any environment, including work. Have I harmonized Dafa in my own environment? Though a cultivator should let go everyday people's fame and interests, don't we want to achieve the selfless and egoless realm in cultivation? Now, could I do my job well, not for my interests, but for sentient beings around me? After enlightening to this, I started to balance the time between schoolwork and time to cultivate and clarify the truth. Afterwards, the situations improved and I smoothly passed my PHD qualification exam, but I still didn't achieve a fundamental breakthrough.
I enlightened that I could not break through my current situation with my own power, and that the answer lied within Dafa. My Fa study state was stuck in a bottleneck for a long time. I studied 1-2 lectures per day and sometimes the reading became so familiar that I read without fully realizing what I was reading, and also felt sleepy sometimes. Also, I didn't have the state of enlightening to new understandings of Fa principles while reading Dafa.
I realized that my current problem was mainly due to the limited state of my Fa study, until one day I read a Minghui article about reciting Dafa, and the Chinese practitioner's happiness and sacred experience to recite Dafa enlightened me a lot. In the past I heard other practitioners' stories of reciting Dafa, but after trying for some time I felt it was too difficult and stopped. This time, I decided to fundamentally change my Fa study situation and was determined to persist in reciting Dafa no matter what difficulty I ran into. Hence, I started to recite Zhuan Falun.
Due to my limited time, at first I could only recite a few paragraphs in a couple of hours, and was also severely interfered by thought karma, making me feel not able to cultivate without so many bad thoughts.
After overcoming interference in the early stage, I could gradually feel the beauty of studying the Fa with a calm mind, and reciting Dafa by heart. Those sentences that I used to read through quickly now appeared new and showed new words when I recited them quietly. In order to increase the Fa study time, I used any spare time I had to quietly recite Dafa or listen to Fa lectures so as to dissolve the whole of my life into Dafa, including the time while riding my bike to and from school, walking, doing housework, standing in line, etc. Besides the time I needed to eat, sleep and work, I used the rest of my time to do the three things that Master Li told us to do. When I was not clarifying the truth, I would concentrate on reciting and studying Dafa or sending forth righteous thoughts. I felt so wonderful by melting into Dafa and had a compassionate mind-state every day, and also had strong righteous thoughts and wisdom when clarifying the truth.
With this breakthrough in Fa study, the tribulations in everyday life were no longer a barrier. I started to make big progress in my thesis and finished the other 2 papers in less than half a year, and my supervisor also felt impressed by the logic and fluent writing in my third paper. Other students also felt amazed by how one complicated question could be solved with a simple method. My families also saw the wisdom and miracle that Dafa created in me, that I could finish the PhD study and thesis writing in half of the time of my fellow students. Then I smoothly passed the defense of my thesis and obtained my PhD degree.
After passing the test in school, the test of a job soon followed. As I preferred working in the university, and North American universities were short of vacancies due to the recession, I started to apply to universities around the world and suddenly received an offer from a university in Sydney. I was faced with the choice of where to go.
2. The Choice I Had to Make
I obtained Dafa and participated in Fa-rectification in Canada, and have had a deep predestined relationship with Canadian practitioners, and also benefited a lot from that environment with many veteran practitioners and a tradition of long-term group study. Now, to give up all these and go to a new environment to start again, cultivation seemed to become uncertain. After learning I might be leaving Canada and going to Australia to work, most of the feedback I heard was disagreement: Is it worthwhile to go so far away to start from scratch at this last stage of Fa-rectification? Will those projects that you participated in be affected? At that same time, I also heard much feedback about Australia: a complicated environment, spies, conflicts among practitioners, etc. Thinking about leaving Canada, I wondered when I could come back to listen to Master's Fa lectures. Also, starting in a new complicated environment, will this affect my cultivation and participating in Fa-rectification work? Will this be the old forces' arrangement or a pre-destined relationship with sentient beings in that new land? It was difficult making a decision. Especially after the economy recovered in North America, more and more job opportunities came to me and it would not be hard for me to find a job in North America with a finance major. I was stuck in a dilemma of how to choose.
At this time of hesitation, I attended the 2004 Chicago Fa conference, and one sentence of Master seemed to answer my puzzle,
"A stone is a stone no matter where you place it, and a piece of gold is a piece of gold no matter where you place it."("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference")
Yes, if I could not cultivate well in a different environment, am I still a stone? Can I get by in cultivating in an easy cultivation environment? If the new environment has a complicated situation, it needs more righteous power and support. If it is easy to cultivate in a good environment, won't Master want to save the rest of the world and the sentient beings there?
One day when I read Master's poetry, one poem touched my heart, "Tathagata:"
"He comes with the Truth, which gives him full control
And travels the four seas with a free and easy spirit
Spreading the Fa's principles throughout the secular world
Loaded full with sentient beings, his Fa Boat sets sail"
I suddenly felt the selfless mind-state of great enlightened beings, to be responsible for righteous factors in the cosmos and willing to sacrifice everything for others. I asked myself if I believe Master is taking care of every practitioner's path. Dare I let go of my concern and fear and leave my future to be arranged by Dafa and Master? Even if I could not do much in the new environment, it is still good if I can add one more righteous element and save one more being.
Though understanding the principle, the process to let go of oneself is not always so easy. The next step to immigrate and move was smooth, but my mind was not always so peaceful. From time to time, I would worry whether I would regret such a choice, or whether I could continue cultivating. At this time, I often remembered Master Li's words in "Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Switzerland" which shocked me deeply,
"I can give up to the greatest extent possible everything of mine, and that is why I can resolve all of it."
I think if I could let go of my concern for personal gain and loss, including the attachment to consummation, I have nothing to be afraid of, or no barrier can stop me in cultivation. When my family and I set out from Canada to Australia and all the old experiences were left behind, I had a feeling of "revival" and felt that a new journey in cultivation would start.
3. Cultivating in a New Environment
The process of starting in the new environment was easier than I imagined. Australian practitioners are more simple and sincere than I heard. Though I also ran into various conflicts and problems, including the basic issues in cultivation, I am touched by practitioners' sincere hearts working for Dafa. During the process of clarifying the truth to everyday people, I am also deeply impressed by the kindness and justice of Australian people, and feel more closely Master's hope for this land and people here to be also saved.
When clarifying the truth to people from different walks of life, I could often experience Master's great arrangements and everyday people earnestly waiting to be saved. For example, when passing by a minister's office, the minister suddenly walked out and smiled at us. We went into an MP's office without an appointment and clarified the truth to MP's and their assistants for quite some time. When delivering the truth-clarifying materials to an MP's office and talking to the assistant, the MP suddenly came back to the office in the middle of our meeting and cheerfully talked to us for quite a long time. We had just missed one person when clarifying the truth, when she suddenly came out from another door. We ran across a big sale of envelopes when looking for envelopes for truth clarification packages, etc...
We ran into so many similar stories that it is hard to describe, but we can only feel by our hearts the miraculous power of Dafa. Such power could only be felt and manifested during the process of clarifying the truth and practical cultivation. As Master Li said in Zhuan Falun,
"For a practitioner, one's mind-intent dictates supernormal abilities to do things. For an everyday person, one's mind-intent directs the four limbs and the sensory organs to work."
I came to understand that whatever Dafa work we do, the main determining factors depend on the power of Dafa in other dimensions. When Dafa work has good effect, the fundamental reason is not how wise our methods in the human world are or how capable those practitioners are, but because we conform to the requirements of Dafa, and our mind-state meets the standard. Master and gods in other dimensions give us a hand, so the power of Dafa is naturally manifested in the human world. When some Dafa work doesn't have good results, it is not because Dafa doesn't have that power, but that our mind-states and realms don't meet the requirement of Fa, so the power of Dafa is restricted by our limitation.
In the past few months' Dafa activities, I saw good experiences and poor ones. I found that no matter whether it is a large-scale activity or face-to-face truth clarification, when practitioners from different groups don't have too many barriers and arguments, and practitioners can work together to participate in the events and support each other, the results were unexpectedly positive and the whole event was covered by a harmonious, compassionate field. But when some practitioners stuck to their own opinions or had barriers in their minds, the results were not satisfactory. As Master said,
"For Dafa disciples as a whole, in the process of validating the Fa, when you work together in concert, the Fa power is great. Whether you're doing things as a group or doing things individually, what you're doing is the same kind of thing, and that's what we mean by one entity. You're all clarifying the truth, sending righteous thoughts, and studying the Fa, so the specifics of the things you're doing are different but the division of roles is orderly, together there's a form, and separated there are particles." ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")
I came to the understanding that no matter whether promoting the Nine Commentaries or clarifying the truth of Falun Gong to the government, there is no shortcut. Everything is included if we can do the three things well. I feel that we have organized a lot of activities, but the main questions that we are faced with relate to the salvation of more sentient beings, and include the issue of whether we can study the Fa well, if we can form a harmonious group study environment and tradition to share frankly and compare our cultivation, if we can persist in clarifying the truth to as wide a variety of groups in society as possible, and if we can overcome the personal conflicts and project barriers and have better communication and coordination as one body, etc.
Sometimes, when seeing how some politicians sold out the Australian people and assisted the evil, I also felt frustrated and lost confidence in clarifying the truth to them. At this time, when studying the Fa I saw Master's hint,
"Wherever there's a problem, that is where you need to clarify the truth and save people. Don't take a detour when you run into difficulties. When you see something that does us harm, or when you see something blocking our validating the Fa, don't take a detour -- you should face it, and clarify the truth and save those beings." ("Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. Fa Conference 2002")
I came to the understanding that there is no shortcut in cultivation and clarifying the truth to save people. It is long-term work and a test for all practitioners, and we should not count on a few big activities to completely change the situation. It needs our persistent efforts without pursuit to clarify the truth and save people. Big activities cannot replace solid and comprehensive work to clarify the truth, and many sharings cannot replace the cultivation process in clarifying the truth.
Only when all practitioners take action and help the majority of Australian people understand the truth, so that more and more people will condemn the persecution and support Dafa, can the government's attitude be rectified. Gods judge people by their actions, not by what they think or say. If say, we clarify the truth to a wide variety of people in society and help a lot more people understand the truth, so that several hundred thousand people sign petitions to the government, several hundred NGO's write letters to support us and dozens of MP's condemn the persecution, what impact it will have on the government and is there any extra room for a few politicians to continue assisting the evil? When people understand the truth, their hearts are rectified and the unrighteous factors and evil won't have the field to exist.
I also had a poor experience due to my attachments. For example, after a local school didn't remove our Falun Dafa club from its web site despite pressure from the CCP, I wrote reports to our web sites about this incident with complacency and exaggeration of the facts. The evil increased the pressure on the school so that this school removed Dafa club from its web site with the excuse of misrepresentation in media reports. Though the problem got partially solved through clarifying the truth, it left me with a hard lesson. Cultivation is so serious that any omission might lead to loopholes for the evil to use to cause damage to sentient beings.
I also ran into quite a few xinxing tests. For example, I heard some rumors that two Canadian practitioners were deceived into joining a certain group of practitioners. At that time, I felt wronged as I didn't have the notion of group and section. I just tried to give support to as much Dafa work as I could. It was unexpected that we would incur complaints for this. I think that if most of practitioners' energies were spent on such "internal friction," how much extra energy would we to have clarify the truth and offer salvation to more everyday people? But later on, I searched inside and I also realized Master's intention, "I can't just let you work without reaching Consummation."(" A Person in Charge is Also a Cultivator," Essentials for Further Advancement) If everything we do runs smoothly with voices of praise, do we still have a chance to cultivate and improve? It is a test to see if our hearts are moved during the conflict and if we can continue doing the things that we should do, and at the same time tolerate different opinions with great compassion, and try our best to support Dafa work in all other projects.
Recently, due to different understandings about "Quitting the CCP organization," I ran into another xinxing conflict. Though I tried to cooperate with other practitioners to promote the Nine Commentaries and quitting the CCP, I still felt uncomfortable in my mind without any clear reason, and could not cooperate and support it with my full strength, until one day when I was in sitting meditation with an uneasy feeling in my mind. I suddenly remembered the story that Master told during a Fa lecture, about how Shakyamuni's disciples collected their bowls to beg for food, and also comparing how your bowl is golden and my bowl is jade...The first time I heard this story, I felt that those monks' attachments were funny. Today I suddenly realized that my attachment to formality was as funny as those monks attachment to their bowls. I also had a hidden attachment to prove myself and show off my good work, so I could not completely let go myself and cooperate with other practitioners with different opinions. Whether it was a jade bowl or a golden bowl, they are all tools to "get food" for a pre-destined relationship. When I was attached to the formality, did I still remember its real purpose? Have I used that "bowl" to "travel widely for food" and connect pre-destined relationships for more sentient beings to be saved? If my attachment to the form of the bowl delays my efforts to save beings, what perfect form can make up for such big losses? With this enlightenment, the uneasy feeling in my mind suddenly melted and I no longer had a barrier cooperating with other practitioners.
Sometimes I also feel worried about an unsatisfactory situation. At such times, I would ask myself if I have put 100% of my heart and effort into validating Dafa and saving sentient beings. Have I made full use of every second and minute? I feel very ashamed of the gap between my state and the requirement of Dafa on me. In the past, I felt good about my cultivation state in a familiar environment. Today in this new environment, many previously unrealized attachments and shortcomings were exposed to me. I really appreciate Master's kind arrangement to help me improve and benefit in this new cultivation environment so that I can treat my cultivation and Fa-rectification more seriously.
Reflecting on the past 7 years of my cultivation path, nothing could pay back or describe my appreciation for Master's great compassion and support. The only thing I can think of is to redouble my efforts to save people and fulfill Master's wishes. In the last stage of Fa-rectification, I hope we can remind and support each other to do the three things well, cherish this unprecedented precious opportunity, and don't let down Master's salvation and the sentient beings who are waiting!
Thank you Master Li!
Thank you, fellow practitioners!
