(Clearwisdom.net) I began to practice Falun Dafa on December 12, 1998. I am fortunate enough to have become a disciple during the Fa-rectification period. Enveloped by the Teacher's Buddha light, feeling Teacher's immense compassion, no human language can express my deepest gratitude to Teacher.
I was the owner of a successful business. I had a happy family with my husband and our child. But I was suffering from severe pains because of nervous system disorders. I was anxious all the time. When someone told me that Falun Gong could cure the disease, I began to try the practice, hoping it would cure my illnesses. When I first saw the book Zhuan Falun, I only glanced through several pages, and my celestial eye opened. I saw a smiling image of a divine being who, after a loud laugh, ascended to the sky. A man's voice told me: "Your celestial eye is open." But my enlightenment quality was low at that time, and I did not treasure the opportunity. I did not take Falun Gong seriously and moved on with my old life.
Six months later, a practitioner asked me, "You are having so many difficulties in business, why don't you practice Falun Gong?" I couldn't believe my ears. Could Falun Gong help in solving my difficulties? Well, let me give it a try. I began to learn Falun Gong with the wish that it would resolve difficulties in business. But Teacher did not discriminate against me because of my selfish and dirty motivation. I became a practitioner from then on. Very soon, I became a sincere believer of Falun Dafa.
When I sat down and read Zhuan Falun, I began to see the deep meanings in the book. Soon, during meditation, I could feel what Teacher said:
"you should feel wonderful and very comfortable as though you are sitting inside an egg shell; "
"There is another state in which as one sits for a while, one finds that the legs are gone, and cannot think where the legs went; the body is also gone; the arms are also gone; the hands are also gone--only the head is left. As one keeps practicing, one finds that the head is gone as well, leaving only one's own mind, a little thought that one is practicing here." (Zhuan Falun)
Legs are gone, hands are gone, body is gone, leaving only a slight thought. Gradually, my symptom of nervous system disorder was gone. I began to appreciate the wonderful feeling of a perfect health. I began to pay less attention to my reputation, personal gains and qing. The headaches in business were also vanishing. My family life became beautiful and peaceful. I thank Teacher for everything that's been given to me. I thank Dafa for a brand new me.
Unfortunately, six months after I became a practitioner, the evil Chinese Communist Party (CCP) began a bloody persecution against Falun Gong. Our group study and practice site were closed. The evil propaganda was polluting my mind. I began to have doubts about Teacher and Dafa. I hoped that all the CCP propaganda was wrong, but I could not overcome my doubts. I lay down in bed and cried uncontrollably: What happened? Who is telling the truth? What kind of person is my trusted Teacher? I cried for three days. I did not go to work and did not do any chores at home. My world was covered by a dark cloud.
What should I do? How do I live in the future? I had already learned the real meaning of life, but I have no idea how I should complete my journey. Regardless, I picked up a hand-copied copy of Zhuan Falun that I had completed half way and continued to copy. I am not a quitter, that's not my nature. I hesitantly picked up a pen. To my surprise, the minute I began to write, I felt a complete freedom, like a fish in the ocean. With great pleasure, I came back to Dafa. I stopped hesitating and became determined to be more diligent. I copied the book over and over again for a total nine times. After that, I also hand copied other books such as Essentials for Further Advancement, Lectures in the United States, and Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Singapore. I almost copied all Teacher's lectures. My realm was improving. I became a sincere cultivator.
Now, I realized that nothing could pull me out of Dafa. I will defend Dafa
with my life.
During this time, I saw many wonders through my celestial eye. Once my
primordial spirit came out of the first layer of the cosmos, I intimately felt
the disintegration of matter in the first layer cosmos, and the creation of
matter in the second layer cosmos. Just like Teacher said,
"... and particles of that level, too, pervade the immense cosmos. Beyond the expanse is a state of complete emptiness. And just how empty? If any substance in this system were to enter it, it would be the same as self-disintegration. That's because any substance within the range of this system has life, characteristic features, and thought. To enter into a microscopic emptiness of that kind would be as if the particle could no longer sustain thought and life. It would instantly disintegrate. In other words, anything that fell into it would disintegrate."
"Beyond that expanse of emptiness, however, there are actually yet other cosmic bodies of even larger expanses. But all the same, the lives in this realm can't possibly move a single step toward going there, since factors of an even more microscopic nature exist at more, and even still more, microscopic levels. Over in the even larger expanses, however, the concepts of matter and life are different in that cosmic body--the concept of matter no longer exists." (Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Switzerland)
I began to feel that my body was disintegrated, leaving only a slight sense of my primordial spirit. My speed toward the cosmos was unbelievable, and I could break through countless of layers of cosmos in a second. I heard a huge roaring sound. When I reached the second layer of cosmos, my body was re-integrated back together.
During my cultivation, I didn't experience many karma elimination tribulations. But once when I was hand-copying Teacher's book, I suddenly felt very weak. I was too busy to think about it. But my body felt an extreme pain; my temperature was beyond 42 degrees C [107.60F], the upper limit of the thermometer indication. I felt a sharp pain on my entire face, and especially the pain at my trigeminal nerve almost killed me. I knew it was a karma elimination process, but my fever would not stop. My entire family pushed me to see doctors. When I refused, my husband even said swear words about Dafa. I suffered a great deal. I began to look inside of myself and thought: I would rather die than to question Dafa!
The next morning, I struggled out of bed and went to the practice site. I felt terrible. But when I first began to do Exercise One, after Teacher's voice, "Maitreya Straightening His Back," my body felt like a giant sand hill, like sand being sifted. So this way, I completed three sets of exercises in 30 minutes, during this time my body was shaking and soaked with sweat. In 30 minutes, all my "symptoms" were gone. I knew that the sky-high karma caused by my misdeeds and crimes in past lives was being eliminated by our esteemed Teacher. My family members could not believe how quickly I recovered. From then on, they never object to my Falun Gong exercises any more.
Once after drinking alcohol, my primordial spirit left my body for several hours. After that I would never dare to treat lightly the alcohol restriction for cultivators. Once I was tested by a lust demon in my dream when I saw a man whom I used to admire, and he came to me completely naked. I also dreamed of my mother telling me to do something, but it was something cultivators could never do. I also saw a giant Bodhisattva leading a team of heavenly warriors; they were coming to me with big smiles... I have personally experienced all the scenarios described in Zhuan Falun.
In the Spring of 2000, a fellow practitioner (an elderly lady) took a great risk: she copied 100 flyers with 80 yuan of her money and distributed them in a free market. Her courage touched me deeply. I started a truth clarification materials production center to print flyers for nearby practitioners to read and distribute. At the time, materials production centers were very few and the supply of materials was much less than the demand. I upgraded the equipment constantly: from a small copier to a larger copier to a speed printer. I also learned basic Internet techniques. Although anti-blockade software was not widely available then, I could still easily connect to the Internet, perform downloads, forward and print. I also published articles on the Internet to expose the evil's conduct. Taking advantage of my facilities, I served as a coordinator in my area and several districts and other counties in the city.
Because my work in the truth-clarification materials production center was quite demanding, I did not ensure enough time to study the Fa. The evil began to make trouble from other dimensions. A fellow practitioner told the police about me after he was arrested, forcing me into hiding. Without a stable living condition, I traveled to the south. At the time, I realized that I shouldn't run away just to have a more comfortable living situation, but I had a strong fear, and even though I knew not to, I still moved out. The evil took advantage of my omissions and I was illegally arrested and taken to a detention center. For awhile, the evil forced me to walk along the path arranged by the old forces.
In the detention center, I refused to cooperate with the evil, I refused to "transform" and did not yell out their CCP and anti-Falun Gong slogans. They had me sleep on the concrete floor in the cold winter. But I fell asleep immediately. As cold as it was, I even sweated and felt warm. I knew it was Teacher who shouldered the pain for me. Later, the police drew a small circle and forced me to sit on a small stool in the circle. They also suspended my bank account so I could not spend my own money. I was not affected by all these troubles. Failing to intimidate me, they then took a softer approach. Someone cried in front of me when trying to persuade me to change, saying they wanted to "save" me. All these efforts failed.
I was finally allowed to go home. Fellow practitioners were happy for me. They organized a welcome party and invited me to talk about my experience. I sincerely appreciated the support from fellow practitioners. I also thought that I did pretty well. My heart to validate myself was expanding. The evil saw this and was ready to persecute me again. I realized that the problem was serious and I needed to increase my Fa-study immediately. I cleared my mind, began to study the Fa and cultivate myself among people in a way that conforms to today's society and people as much as possible. I put in my best effort to do the three things well. I felt that Teacher is with me all the time.
One day in August 2005, a practitioner in a nearby township asked for help to set up a home-based truth clarification materials production center. Several practitioners and I delivered a printer to his house. It was a rainy day with a heavy downpour. In order to get there before 12 o'clock, on time to send forth righteous thoughts, we took a shortcut. At a steep slope about 45 degrees, the road was very muddy. To make things worse, some workers were digging a ditch on the road. From what I saw, I knew it was tough for us to pass the road safely. At that moment, a fellow practitioner said, "Let's send forth righteous thoughts and ask Teacher to help us." We all agreed and decided to try. I put the car in gear, stepped on the pedal and the car did not move, why? Once more I stepped on the gas, but it still did not move! A fellow practitioner went out and was surprised at what he saw: the road below the tire was mostly gone, and if we had tried to drive there, the car would have overturned. The spectators down the hill were all too frightened to say anything. People on both sides of the street stopped their business and watched. Some cried, "Danger, back up immediately!"
I could not hold my tears for several hours after that moment. I saw Teacher bearing the heavy load for us. When we finally arrived at the fellow practitioner's home, it was 11:55, right on time to send forth righteous thoughts.
I have been a practitioner for six years. During the past six years, with Teacher's protection, I have experienced the following: cultivation, improvement, assisting Teacher to rectify the Fa, and saving sentient beings. I, an unhealthy and selfish person with big sins and karma, have become a Dafa disciple of the Fa-rectification period and a human on the way to Consummation. Without Teacher's protection and care, I could not have made any improvement in each realm. I have experienced tribulations and pain on the cultivation path, but I have also enjoyed much pleasure and happiness afterwards. I know deeply that I still have attachments, and many things I am not ready to let go of. I still have a big gap between me and the standard set by Dafa. I still don't deserve the honor of the highest title in the universe. In this special moment described by Teacher as "a brief cultivation period that passes in the blink of an eye" ("The Closer to the End, the More Diligent You Should Be"), I will continue my efforts to cultivate with renewed diligence and vitality, try to reduce detours, and avoid leaving any regrets in the future.
My level is limited. I would like to share this with fellow practitioners. Heshi.
October 15, 2005
