(Clearwisdom.net) A situation recently helped me gain a better understanding of some principles of the Fa. I want to share this experience with fellow practitioners.
This year I worked in my aunt's home. I was asked to mainly take care of my uncle, who was ill. He suffered from heart disease and a stroke, so my aunt wanted me to watch him and prevent him from smoking and drinking. Because of his illnesses, his intelligence was at a child's level. He was aware of everything, however he reacted to things slowly. I tried to quit the job several times using various excuses, but my aunt's husband wanted nobody else except me to take care of him. The rest of the family also tried to persuade me to stay there, and they were willing to satisfy any of my requirements.
When I tidied up the room, my uncle usually just sat there watching and listening. Immediately after I finished, he would go to check what I had done. If things were not placed exactly in their original position, he would give an angry stare and move them back where they belong. Because of such trifles, I often complained to my aunt. She always replied with smile, "Don't get bothered," while my uncle, who was sitting off to the side, smiled triumphantly.
From these incidents, I understood that I should look within myself since these things might have happened to help me get rid of certain attachments. I found that I had the attachment of self-esteem. A cultivator should be tolerant, but I felt I should reason things out, as others do here in the realm of human beings. These are principles that human beings need to follow. If he appeared unreasonable, I felt I should complain to my aunt and let her know what had happened. Otherwise, she might assume that I had done something wrong.
I suddenly realized that I was attached to the principles of the everyday human realm. I had used ordinary principles to reason with him, and I had even argued my point from some distorted logic. How could I forget to search within myself and cultivate myself? I am a Dafa practitioner, but I did not use the Buddha Fa to restrain myself. When handling things, I always followed ordinary principles and human notions. Not until then did I realize that, amid ordinary people and especially in a place where no one knew me, I was actually dropping down in my level. I showed no tolerance to anyone who offended or hurt me.
Over two days, the problem became increasingly worse and out of balance. What was the reason? I later found that it was because I was still bogged down in ordinary principles, from which I felt that my reactions were perfectly justified. I should have used a cultivator's compassion to handle the issue. Although I was clear about this in my mind, I still could not overcome it. I thought: "My good intentions did not get positive responses. I focused too much on others' business, and I showed too much useless concern." Although I was aware of these things in myself, I was not able to let go of these conflicts. Once I saw him, I became angry. I thought, "It was for your sake that I did not want you to drink. Why are you still unreasonable? Then you go ahead and drink. If drinking had made you sick, you would have learned the lesson."
Today I started to realize that the fundamental cause was that I had, again, taken ordinary principles as my standards. As a result, I could not find where I was wrong. So how could I admit my mistake and face the problems? Actually, the occurrence of these problems was not accidental. They served the purpose of reminding me, again and again, that I am a cultivator and should always put "Truth-Compassion-Tolerance" in my heart and follow the Fa when doing things. Master mentioned several times in the Fa that some of the practitioners, after listening to his lectures and going back home, would do whatever they want to do and would show no tolerance to anyone who offends them; and after a time, they would not see themselves as cultivators anymore. I was this kind of person. Once I went back to the ordinary society, I seldom used the Fa to guide myself. Instead, I used ordinary people's principles to guide me. So after a long while, the situation described above appeared.
In that situation, when I encountered a conflict and when I appeared to have no way to overcome the conflict. I always made the conflict worse to a certain degree, and then I endured it. When it exceeded my limit of tolerance, I would escape from it. Once I found that the basis of my understanding was wrong, I started to take action to change my problem. I walked to my uncle's room and said to him naturally, "Uncle, I was wrong yesterday. I made you angry. I apologize. It was my fault." Both my uncle and aunt smiled. I thought: "Even non-practitioners do not mind the trivial issues. How come I could not let it go?" I felt shamed.
I hope that this experience of mine can serve as a reminder to fellow practitioners who are still using ordinary principles and notions to evaluate things. The ordinary notion or feeling that it is justifiable to have one's own way is the mindset of ordinary people. Master said,
"As true practitioners, we should look at issues from a very high level instead of from the perspective of everyday people." ("Cultivation Insanity" in "Lecture Six" of Zhuan Falun, March 2000 translation version)
I came to understand that, although we can cultivate ourselves by maximally conforming to an ordinary society, we cannot use ordinary principles and human notions as the standard to guide ourselves or to be the rules for doing things. We should steadfastly follow "Truth-Compassion-Tolerance," the highest principle of the universe, to cultivate ourselves. Only this way can we improve.
