(Clearwisdom.net) I obtained the Fa at the beginning of 1997. In 2000, I was illegally arrested and taken to a forced labor camp. After I was released from the camp, I was depressed for a while. I started practicing Falun Gong again and reentered the Fa-rectification path a little more than a year ago. I have had a lot of afterthoughts since I started practicing again. However, every time I advanced, I felt Teacher's compassion. I have always felt at ease, as if being reborn when I once again assimilated to the Fa and realized that I had taken a big step forward in my practice.
Remembering the past years, I see the attachment of fear as my strongest human notion, blocking me from validating the Fa. Once I could talk to people about the truth of Falun Gong from within the Fa, when I could calm down when distributing truth clarification materials, the scared selfish me forever disappeared.
Teacher said, "Yet for cultivators, fear or lack thereof proves [one's] humanity or divinity, and it is what differentiates cultivators from ordinary people. It is something that a cultivator must face, and the biggest human attachment that a cultivator must remove." ("Study the Fa Well, and Getting Rid of Attachments is Not Hard")
I wish to share with you how I let go of my fear and went forth to validate the Fa and tell the truth of Falun Dafa openly and nobly.
1. We Cannot Advance Even an Inch on Our Cultivation Path When We Hold the Attachment of Fear
During this stage of the Fa-rectification, every time Teacher has spoken, He has mentioned the Fa-rectification Dafa disciples' responsibility and mission. I remember when I made all kinds of excuses to cover my deeply rooted fear when comparing myself to the Fa.
I often recalled the non-stop scolding, the long-term brainwashing, and the hard labor I had to endure in the forced labor camp. The inhumane torture was always on my mind, stopping me from attaining a peaceful mind. I shuddered when I recalled the guards shocking practitioners for a long time with electric batons in their sensitive areas, causing severe blisters on their skin. The practitioners couldn't sleep in a normal position. One practitioner's forearm skin was severely burned and still festered after six months, with blood and pus oozing out. I often heard this practitioner's moaning at night due to the unbearable pain. The miserable screams of practitioners' being force-fed near the stairways still rings in my ears.
When I went out to distribute truth clarification materials, visions of a policeman stalking me, jumping out from nowhere, screaming at me, "What are you doing?" and grabbing my arm filled my head. For more than a month, I suffered like that daily. I was absorbed in my fear and full of conflict. Yet in my mind, I knew the truth and what Teacher had asked us to do. I was just so tightly wrapped in my fear that I could not recognize it. One day I had a dream and finally could deal with that fear.
In the dream, another person and I were hiking up a mountain. I also knew that I had an appointment I had to keep after hiking. When half way up the hill, we saw that many people had already reached the summit. Looking up, I saw a ladder hanging in the air, coming out of the clouds. It went all the way to the sky. I couldn't see the top of the ladder because of the clouds and the fog. Everyone began to climb up the ladder with backpacks on their backs. I was shocked, because everyone looked so determined and at ease. I asked one of them, "Why are you going up there? You are not wearing a climbing harness. Aren't you afraid that you will fall and kill yourself?" The person replied, "No! Only when we all go up there can we save our families." Then I asked another person and was given the same answer.
The dream was over, but the determined and fearless faces of the two men remained vividly in my memory. Even their words still rang in my ears. I was deeply moved and shocked. I knew it was Teacher's compassionate guidance. He was not giving up on me. Teacher leads us on our Fa-rectification path, the path where humans will become gods. It is just like climbing up a ladder. All Dafa practitioners are one body. The path is dangerous and full of hardship, but as long as we firmly believe in Teacher and let go of the attachment of death, we will improve as a whole and the sentient beings will thus be saved.
The words "...save our families" I heard in my dream were like a hammer. It was pounding on my heart. The powerful shock forced me to re-examine myself and face the deeply rooted attachments that I never dared to acknowledge. That was worse than any pain I ever could have imagined.
Teacher said, "For a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, personal liberation is not the goal of cultivation: when you came, saving sentient beings was your great aspiration, and that is the responsibility and mission history has bestowed upon you in Fa-rectification. Thus great numbers of beings are to be saved by you. Dafa disciples, don't forsake the magnificent responsibility that has been bestowed upon you in Fa-rectification, and even less should you disappoint those beings, as you are now their only hope for entering the future. For this reason, all Dafa disciples, students both new and veteran, should get to work and begin comprehensively clarifying the truth." ("Let Go of Human Attachments and Save the World's People")
"A Dafa disciple--a most magnificent, merciful being--is the most remarkable and most merciful in every environment of human society, and is beneficial to other beings. Isn't this how you should be when you clarify the truth?" ("Teaching the Fa at the Great Lakes Fa Conference in North America")
I read Teacher's recent lectures and was in tears. I felt the thick shell that covered me dissolving.
How selfish I was! Where was the compassion of a practitioner? How could my practice aim merely towards personal consummation? Was I still seeking to live easily and comfortably in this dimension with my fear? Could I just watch the poisoned sentient beings that would be weeded out at the moment when the full force of the Fa-rectification arrived? I had betrayed the great expectation that Teacher's and the cosmos' sentient beings had for me. I had violated my vows. It had taken me too long to wake up and understand.
The next day, I went out to distribute truth clarification materials holding the thought, "I came here to save sentient beings. I am ready to give up everything if I am caught again." I realized that the thinking I had held in my mind was totally wrong. I used to think that once I did not adhere to the Fa, I would be arrested and beaten up. The truth is that the evil does not dare persecute practitioners who have righteous thoughts and actions. But, I used to tremble when I distributed the materials.
I finally let go of my fundamental attachment of fear. I was extremely excited and understood fully that the block that prevented me from doing what I had promised to do centuries ago had collapsed. I looked up and the sky was bright. I felt relaxed and free, something I hadn't felt in the longest time. Everything was so simple! My suffering was nothing now that I looked back. It was my own notions that hindered me. I became tall and indestructible. My future path began to brighten!
2. Only When We Do the Three Things Well Can We Walk Every Step Steadfastly During the Fa-rectification
Teacher talked about the responsibilities of the Fa-rectification period Dafa practitioners:
"For a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple, personal liberation is not the goal of cultivation: when you came, saving sentient beings was your great aspiration, and that is the responsibility and mission history has bestowed upon you in Fa-rectification." ("Let Go of Human Attachments and Save the World's People")
"Of course, we don't acknowledge any of the things that the old forces arranged--I as your master don't acknowledge them, and Dafa disciples of course don't acknowledge them either. But after all, they did do what they wanted to do, so there's all the more reason for Dafa disciples to do even better and cultivate themselves well in the course of saving all beings. When you encounter ordeals during your cultivation, you have got to cultivate yourself and look at yourself--that doesn't mean acknowledging the ordeals arranged by the old forces and trying to do well amidst the ordeals they've arranged, that's not the case. We negate even the very emergence of the old forces and everything that they've arranged; we don't even acknowledge their existence. We're fundamentally negating all of their things, and all of, and only, the things you do while negating and getting rid of them is mighty-virtue. It's not that you're cultivating amidst the ordeals they created. Rather, you are to walk your own path well while not acknowledging them, not even acknowledging the elimination of their ordeals' manifestations. So looking at it from this angle, what we need to do is completely negate the old forces. Dafa disciples and I don't even acknowledge the manifestations of their last-ditch efforts." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference")
"This period of time will not last long, but it can forge the mighty virtue of magnificent Enlightened Beings, Buddhas, Daos, and Gods of different levels, and even Lords of different levels. It can also destroy overnight a cultivator who has reached a really high level but who has become less strict with himself. Disciples, be diligent! Everything that's the most magnificent and the most wonderful is developed in the process of your validating Dafa. Your vows will become testaments of your future." ("Fa-Rectification Dafa Disciples")
Reading these lectures helped me finally understand the responsibilities of being a Fa-rectification period Dafa practitioners. We shoulder the great mission of saving sentient beings and validating Dafa. This mission is what Teacher and the future cosmos asks of Fa rectification disciples. At the same time, we are fulfilling our prehistoric vows. Our cultivation and the basis of everything we do are no longer governed by the concept of personal cultivation. Everything we do should surround and harmonize the task Teacher set for us. All should be governed by the needs of the Fa-rectification period. The old forces will manipulate, interfere and attempt to destroy the Fa-rectification for their selfish purposes. Therefore, if we have any human notion or attachment, the old forces will strengthen and abuse these factors in order to "test" and persecute us.
Thinking back over the past several years, I now realize that, when I was tortured in a forced labor camp or couldn't stand up for Dafa out of fear, I was walking the path arranged by the old forces,.
Teacher said, "If you, as a student [of Dafa], do not follow Master's requirements, it is definitely no simple thing. The old forces have arranged for all Dafa disciples a set of their things, so if a Dafa disciple doesn't follow Master's requirements, he must be following the old forces' arrangements. The old forces are in essence gigantic trials and tribulations that accompany you at all times, focused on whether in Fa-rectification Dafa disciples are able to step forward." ("Be Clearheaded")
While Teacher asked us to completely negate the old forces' arrangement, he was in fact asking us to walk the path he arranged for us amidst negating the old forces' arrangement. We must maintain firm and pure righteous thoughts that are granted by Dafa. When we are solid in our trust in Teacher and Dafa we will save sentient beings, because we are within the Fa. So only when we do the Three Things well can we walk every step in the Fa rectification unwaveringly!
a. Study the Fa Well
Teacher said, "If you don't study this Great Law well your own Consummation won't be secured. What's more, all the important Dafa things you should do will be like ordinary people going about their business, with ordinary-person thoughts and with an ordinary person's basis, and then that's just ordinary people, at best that's just ordinary people doing good deeds for Dafa. Since you're Dafa disciples you can't dissociate yourselves from the Fa when you do things. You're still continually changing this most surface part that hasn't changed. That's why you can't go without studying the Fa. You must study the Fa well. In the process of studying the Fa you'll be able to keep clearing away bad elements in yourself, changing the last bit of stuff you have that hasn't yet been changed. Why did I always use to tell you so emphatically to study the Fa, study the Fa, and study the Fa well? Because it's of utmost importance." ("Teaching and Explaining the Fa at the Metropolitan New York Fa Conference")
From the very beginning of my practice, I knew the importance of studying the Fa. Soon after I obtained the Fa, I could memorize Zhuan Falun without any problem. To assure that I studied one chapter daily, I often memorized the words while reading. This way, my eyes, mouth, brain, ears, and heart were studying the Fa at the same time. I always told myself to get rid of all distracting thoughts while I memorized the Fa and tried my best to remain calm. Thus, I did well in studying the Fa. I felt myself in every dimension memorizing the Fa.
In the past year since I began to validate the Fa, I have been able to gain a more profound understanding when reading Zhuan Falun.
When I truly enlightened to the Fa principles and gave up my attachments and bad notions at any given level, I could fulfill Teacher's request of us well. Consequently, my understanding of the Fa principles further advanced while validating the Fa. I also improved in my Dafa work with the guidance of higher-level Fa principles. What I have learned is that we should use the Fa principles to break the layers that hinder us from moving forward and understanding the mysteries at different levels. This will help us so that we can transcend when we validate the Fa and assimilate to different manifestations of Truthfulness, Compassion, and Tolerance at different levels. I truly felt the full truth in every one of Teacher's words and I was validating the requirement of the Fa, the existence of Dafa, and being enlightened to the profound content of Dafa.
b. Sending Forth Righteous Thoughts
Teacher said, "Dafa disciples' sending forth righteous thoughts at this special historic period--in order to reduce the evil beings' persecution of Dafa, Dafa disciples, and the people of the world--has played a very critical role ... Dafa disciples are now sentient beings' only, sole hope for salvation. So, in order to do Fa-rectification more effectively, while you clarify the facts you have to take sending righteous thoughts very seriously, and in a timely manner purge the evil and your own problems so that you won't be taken advantage of by the evil." ("Righteous Thoughts")
At first, I didn't quite understand the importance of sending forth righteous thoughts and always doubted whether it would work. To avoid the old forces exploiting the gaps and bringing losses to Dafa work, I decided to send forth righteous thoughts at the four specified times each day plus three times every night. Recently I increased the frequency to every hour on the hour.
I realized that I had looked at this sacred task with human notions. Now, before I leave to distribute truth clarification materials, I send forth righteous thoughts. I now know that this directly reflects on the Dafa work I do.
c. Distributing Truth Clarification Materials
I keep sending righteous thoughts when distributing truth clarification materials. Before leaving, I cleanse the area where I am going to distribute the materials. While I am there, I am not afraid and always bear in mind that I am doing the most sacred thing. After I finish, I tried not to be too excited and pay too much attention to the amount I have distributed. I continue to maintain righteous thoughts, so every copy will have the greatest impact.
I look at the experience I gained and the lessons I learned from each trip and hope to improve each time. The task has been getting smoother day-by-day.
Teacher said, "But these things that you're doing won't be in vain, they're all magnificent and terrific." ("Explaining the Fa During the 2003 Lantern Festival at the U.S. West Fa Conference")
I feel I understood exactly what Teacher was telling us. I remember that when I distributed more materials in one area, every time I went back to that area, I could feel that the righteous energy field of Dafa was particularly strong there.
Teacher said, "In fact, during this time before Dafa's mighty Fa-rectification force arrives, they have effected changes in the state of this world. Also, everything that Dafa disciples have shown through their righteous thoughts and righteous actions has now created a field of Dafa in this material dimension of human beings, and this field has had an enormous, positive impact." ("Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference")
I believe that all of Teacher's encouraging words should be enough for us to become more steadfast and confident in what we do.
The above are some of the experiences and understanding that I gained during the year after I re-entered the Fa-rectification effort. Fa-rectification cultivation is solemn and sacred. Words can hardly describe it! I have not done enough. My contribution does not match what I will gain in my eternal future. No words can express how mighty and magnificent our Teacher is. With His immense Buddha-grace, He granted us the opportunity we have waited for over so many centuries. He allows us to take part in Fa-rectification cultivation, and bestowed on me the honor of being a Dafa practitioner who validates the Fa in this human world and saves sentient beings! There is no time to hesitate and nothing we can't let go when we have to fulfill our sacred vows to validate the Fa and save sentient beings. The mystery of the human dimension and the ordeals of the evil persecution can't perturb the future gods' firm righteous thoughts and their resolve to be diligent.
Let us follow Teacher's instructions with all due respect, cultivate ourselves well and walk every step firmly. We should cooperate better to further save sentient beings and better fulfill our prehistoric vows.
