(Clearwisdom.net)
1. A Miserable Life, Killing Time in Total Despair
I was born in the countryside. Recalling my youth, I remembered that I had not seen a lotus before the age of 15, yet I could draw a picture of a lotus very accurately. It pleased me greatly whenever images of lotus flowers appeared in my mind. At that time, I did not know the name of the flower that appeared in my mind. Also, before I practiced Falun Gong, I frequently had dreams in which I could not find my home or would climb toward a high-up temple with great effort.
After I got married, nothing was easy. When my first child was born, I almost died during labor. During my second pregnancy, the baby died before its birth. I had three abortions and was in poor health. At the age of 29, a tumor was found in my uterus. Before the surgery, the doctors told me that I might not live. But I survived. From that time on my health deteriorated and I suffered from many illnesses, including inflammation and infection of the gall bladder, inflammation of the breasts, drooping of the eyelids, stomach problems and chronic headaches. I also suffered from a constant cold. Although I spent a lot of money, I got sicker and sicker. I was unable to do any heavy work and lost hope to live without suffering. To kill time, I played Majhong, poker, spent a lot of money, or watched bad videos. If people told me that I was in the wrong, I ignored it. Back then, my family was wealthy, my husband was nice and gave in to all my whims.
2. Practicing Falun Dafa, Harmony and Rewards by Surviving Hardships
I attained Falun Dafa in 1996 and experienced great joy. The words "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance" became imprinted into the depths of my mind. I burst into tears after reading only a few pages of Zhuan Falun. I shouted excitedly "Teacher." It's as if I finally saw the light in the tunnel and found my long lost relatives.
From that time on, I studied Falun Dafa daily until midnight. I followed the teachings diligently and did the exercises. I lived by the principles of "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance," and formed a solid foundation for my future cultivation. With my illnesses cured, I changed my bad habits and could do any hard work. I always thought of others first, forbore whatever difficulties I encountered and did everything diligently.
My mother-in-law had four sons and one daughter. During the last months of her life she suffered from scabies. They covered her entire body. She could not move or talk, and was bedridden. I served her food and water and cleaned up whenever she urinated or had a bowel movement. Her only daughter took care of her for three days and left. Her sons and daughter-in-laws came to see her a few times. My husband regarded it as a dirty job, and did not offer much help. I served my mother-in-law until she died. Someone told me that I became stupid after practicing Falun Dafa. Actually, I became a good person by following "Truthfulness-Compassion-Forbearance," and I treated people with compassion.
I could frequently see magnificent scenes in other dimensions, such as floating clouds, which turned into flowers after touching the ground and angels in the sky. I saw the window curtains in my home become transparent and a bouquet of flowers moving back and forth on it. When I extended my arm, the flowers fell into my palm. I saw moons in the sky and golden trees and flowers flying in the sky. I also saw a white and purple colored Chinese dragon among the beautiful clouds. Once when I sat on my bed, I saw a big Falun rotating in front of me, making a loud sound. Nothing could stop me from practicing Falun Dafa.
After I attained Falun Dafa, my mind and body were purified. I became very healthy. There were also many hardships, just as Teacher had told us in Zhuan Falun,
"For a lot of people, in the process of cultivating, when you do the cultivation exercises your spouse often gets really unhappy, and he'll fight with you as soon as you start to do the exercises. But if you do other things he won't bother you. Suppose you waste a lot of time playing Mah Jong. He won't be happy, but not as unhappy as when you're exercising. Your exercises don't cause him any trouble, and you're giving your body a workout, which doesn't interfere with him--it's great. But as soon as you start to do the exercises he'll throw things and fight. Some couples have fought almost to the point of divorce because one of them does cultivation exercises. A lot of them don't stop and think about why this happens. Afterwards, you ask him, 'Why are you so angry when I do my exercises?' He can't find a reason, he really can't find a reason. 'Yeah, I shouldn't be that angry.' But he just gets furious at that time. So what's really going on? When you're doing the cultivation exercises, karma has to be transformed--no loss, no gain. What are lost are bad things, and you have to pay."
I improved tremendously, but my husband's attitude changed drastically. Whenever I sat down to read the Falun Dafa books, he would demand that I do something else. He became very violent, rude, and unreasonable. He seemed like another person. One evening, after I finished my chores I sat down and read a Falun Dafa book. But, my husband insisted that I watch TV with him. I hesitated for a moment, and he threw me out of the house. It was a cold winter day. I found an empty cold room and stayed there. My husband did not allow me to come back home until after midnight. At another time, I worked for a whole day in my husband's brother's field. After getting home, I had a bad toothache and went to bed. After my husband came home, he slapped my face and said: "Go away if you want to die!" At another time, all of my bones hurt, and I vomited and had diarrhea. But I continued to work. For about two months, my husband simply did not come home. I did a lot of work for my husband's brother and brother-in-law, but instead of being grateful, they said I was stupid. Even then, I kept a happy countenance. I endured the pain with pure joy.
3. Lay down the Fear of Death, Firmly Believe in Falun Dafa and Teacher
Jiang's regime started persecuting Falun Dafa in July 1999. Village officers coerced all who practiced Falun Dafa to write guarantees to give up the practice. I refused to write it, but my husband wrote one. I went to the Village Committee and asked the Chinese Communist Party (CCP) Secretary: "Could you show me the guarantee my husband wrote?" The Secretary gave it to me, I tore it to shreds and said, "My husband can't do this for me, only what I write counts." So I wrote: "I will continue to practice Falun Dafa without hesitation. I will not change my mind." The Village Secretary said angrily, "You created a problem for the whole village!"
Since my husband had a good relationship with the secretary and wanted to join the CCP, and my son wanted to join the army, the secretary called my husband in for a discussion. As soon as my husband came back home, he slapped my face and tried to hit me with a chair. My father-in-law also cursed me for "blocking his son and grandson's future." My husband forced me to walk 10 kilometers uphill to my parents' home. He wanted my parents to persuade me to stop practicing Falun Dafa. My mother is also a Falun Dafa practitioner. She said nothing. But my father said, "If you do not write the guarantee, I will not recognize you as my daughter any longer." I said, "Father, if I do not practice Falun Gong, I would feel great sorrow. I am now beginning to be a good person, what's wrong with this?" My father could not say anything to such a reasonable argument. Therefore, my husband was seething and took me home the same night.
Sometimes when my husband has a reasonable moment he says, "Today no one in society is good, how can you be a good person? You'll suffer losses." I know it is very difficult for him, because fame and money carry the highest importance for him. But it's not difficult for practitioners. Falun Dafa's power is boundless.
In January 2000, I wanted to go to Beijing to appeal. Since there was no bus to Beijing, fellow practitioners and I decided to walk. After about 12 kilometers, one bus stopped and asked if we needed a ride. We got on the bus. Since no seats were available, we stood for an entire night. The second morning, we arrived at Tiananmen Square. One police officer asked me: "Do you think Falun Gong is evil?" I didn't reply. Then he asked another practitioner the same question. The fellow practitioner said, "No." So the policeman called a police car, arrested us and took us to the city's police department. We met many fellow practitioners there. Though we had not known each other, we felt like long-lost relatives, meeting after a long separation. We embraced each other with tears in our eyes. Police officers confiscated all of our money after a body search. They asked me what my husband did. I said that my husband was involved in the coal trade. They laughed, "We got another one who has money. Tonight we should have a big supper!" I thought: "What's the difference between these police officers and burglars?"
We were taken back to our hometown. Officers at home said angrily: "I wanted to cut you to pieces one by one!" They asked: "Who took the lead to go to Beijing?" I replied: "I did!" "Still practicing?" I said: "Yes!" We told them the facts about Falun Dafa, but they did not listen. Instead, they first beat us brutally with clubs, fire-tongs, and belts and then shocked us with electric batons. I fainted from the shocks. They poured water on me to wake me up and shocked me again. I fainted again and they poured water again on me. One could smell the burn wounds. I was not in pain, but I felt like floating in the air. When I woke up after some time, they asked again: "Do you still practice?" I had no energy to answer and nodded my head with difficulty.
In the night, we slept on beds with no bedding. We were shivering in the cold and unable to sleep. At that moment, I saw clearly in another dimension that Teacher covered each of us with two beautiful quilts, one was apricot yellow and the other was purple-blue. We instantly felt warm. I told fellow practitioners what I saw, they were moved.
The second day, they gave us a list of five items defaming Falun Dafa. They asked us to hand-copy them and said that after that we would be released. I tore up their list and wrote my own list. I wrote, "Falun Dafa is righteous. Believe in Teacher, and practice without hesitation." They did not read what I had written and released me. Several days later, they noticed it and told me: "You have not changed." They put pressure on my family: "She can be killed for practicing Falun Gong and you will all be implicated!" I told them, "I have no fears." My mother-in-law felt so threatened that her body trembled all day long. My father, brothers and sisters cursed me and asked me to write a guarantee. Even my son asked me to write one. The evil intended to use my sentiments for my family, but my firmness in Falun Dafa held fast.
My family members were very scared because of the pressure. Officers extorted a 5,000 yuan fine from my husband, plus another 300 yuan for so-called food fee. They also fined the Village Office 1,200 yuan. The Village Office asked my husband to lend them 500 yuan. Since my elder brother worked in the police department, they told me that they would fire him. I said, "I take full responsibility for whatever I do. You can't implicate anyone else." They were at the end of their wits. They shouted insanely: "You will die! We'll shock you to death! Or better yet, shoot you to death!" But my mind was tranquil. They coerced people to monitor me and harassed me at home frequently. Out of fear, my husband monitored me closely and frequently beat me up or cursed at me.
4. Fear No Hardships to Let People Know the Truth of Falun Dafa
The inhuman persecution could not stop my efforts in helping Teacher to save sentient beings. During the past years, I walked through cities and the countryside. By following Teacher's words, I tried my best to clarify the truth to every person who was poisoned by the Jiang regimes' propaganda. I feel that needed to save each person I can because I vowed to save them in prehistoric times.
In the beginning, we had no printed Falun Dafa truth-clarifying materials. Therefore, I wrote them daily by hand until midnight. Later, when we had access to printed materials, our work became much easier. They informed my husband that I spread and posted a lot of Falun Dafa materials. Therefore, my husband took me to his shop in town. Over there, practitioners have done a very good job. I distributed materials together with them. In one night, we walked dozens of kilometers on mountain roads to spread several thousand copies of truth clarifying materials to several villages. Many people learned that Falun Dafa is righteous.
Once several fellow practitioners went to the Tiananmen Square to display banners. The elder sister of a township head and the sister of the wife of the CCP secretary of the township political and judicial committee were among them. Officers said that it was me who encouraged them to go and forced me to leave my husband's grain shop, otherwise they would confiscate the shop. After going home, I did not stop clarifying the truth. With the protection of Teacher, I was saved many times. Once, my husband saw me with a bag of Falun Dafa materials. He threw a steel shovel at me and hit my waist. It hurt for several months. Another time, he held a kitchen knife in hand and rushed at me. I thought he should stop doing wrong things. The knife in his hand fell to the ground. My husband understands that Falun Dafa is good and that I am good. But, because of the insane persecution, the pressure and the loss of money, he has learned to hate me.
In March 2001, I wrote a letter describing the beauty of Falun Dafa and the persecution I suffered. My name and address was on the letter. The political and judicial committee secretary received my letter. He said, "You have a good memory. You still remember things that happened years ago. You want to fight with the communist party and sue us!"
The second day, they sent me to the police station the police said, "You'll be sentenced to prison." I said, "I have no fear." "Don't you care for your children?" I said, "My children will grow up. But as long as Falun Dafa is persecuted, I will not stop my efforts." Some laughed. Others' faces showed anger. In jail, I clarified the truth of Falun Dafa to policemen and criminals. Some of them practiced or recited Teacher's poems in Hong Yin with us. Some policemen understood practitioners. Several practitioners wondered if they should write the guarantees, so they would be released. I counseled them, "No, don't write it." Three of them wrote the guarantee. That night, in my dream, I saw one of them fall into a toilet. Then that person pulled the two others into the toilet.
Half a month later, I was released unconditionally. At home, I was sending forth righteous thoughts, even in my dreams. The evil beings were eliminated in groups. During the day I was full of energy.
As the Fa-rectification process progressed quickly, more and more people learned that Falun Dafa was being framed and practitioners are excellent people. More and more people started practicing Falun Dafa or protecting practitioners. My husband and family members support me now too. I am so happy for them.
In 2002, police officers from the county police station and officers from the township government came to my home to harass me. My husband's sister-in-law scolded them, "She is the best person in the world. Don't you try to extort more money!" She held a steel shovel in hand, which scared them. My husband was also ready to fight them. Officers who beat practitioners before now greet practitioners. They say practitioners are the most reliable people. They feel sorry for what they had done and admire practitioners.
During my path of cultivation, I fell many times, but managed to pick myself up with the compassionate protection of Teacher. Now in this final stage of Falun Dafa being widely accepted by the whole world, I'll do the three things as Teacher told us and do my best to save more people.
January 31, 2005
