(Clearwisdom.net)
One day, around December of 2000, a friend who had spoken to me a few times about Falun Dafa lent me a copy of Zhuan Falun. Out of curiosity, I accepted the book. After reading through the book, I began to understand more about the principles of the universe and their relationship to cultivation. I had visited some local monasteries before and listened to the Buddhist lectures, but something seemed to be missing. Buddhism stipulates that it takes a person many lifetimes to reach Consummation, whereas Zhuan Falun presents cultivation with a different approach, which was very attractive to me. I lost no time in getting my friend to show me the exercise movements.
For the first two years after taking up Falun Dafa, I had paid little attention to Fa study. Because my understanding of the principles was limited, my behaviors soon betrayed me. The first obvious sign was my lack of persistence with the exercises. I was nervous about letting others know that I practice Falun Dafa, even my husband. Hence, I normally did the exercises during the day just before my husband came home. I knew that it wasn't right, but I could not overcome my fear. As I lacked trust in Teacher and did not fully comprehend his teachings, I often asked myself the question, "Is all of this really true?" This led to my inability to use a genuine practitioner's attitude to handle issues, making fearful comments such as, "What will happen if..." Once after coming home from distributing Dafa materials, my heart was still pounding heavily. It took me a long time to settle down. As I had also been slow in upgrading myself, I often became very upset when conflicts arose.
Thinking that a new approach would help, I spent more time distributing Dafa materials and clarifying the truth to people, but the results were far from fruitful. It did not take me long to realize that my limited understanding of the Fa principles was the problem. Once, my father and sisters confronted me with questions, and I was totally dumbfounded. At another time, I was trapped in a conflict and unable to resolve the situation. My divine nature was suppressed.
When I finally got to the root of the problem, I put more effort into Fa study. A year later, I made a breakthrough. Through regular Fa study, I have become more clearheaded. My thoughts are clear when I clarify the truth to people, and I can often explain an issue from different perspectives.
After that, handling conflicts was no longer a big problem for me. When I keep myself calm, in most cases the conflict simply disappears. Clarifying truth to people who were rude no longer riled me up. I can remain calm and handle most situations well. My nephew and my sister, who have relied on drugs to help her sleep for years, are now taking up Falun Dafa as well.
Through continual Fa study, I have changed from a half-hearted practitioner to a fully committed Dafa disciple. My anxiety has now completely disappeared. When clarifying the truth to someone, I look for the best way to talk that person and concentrate on how to make it clearer. In the past, I was always nervous that I might say something that would create a bad effect.
Four years of practice has changed me completely. Physically and spiritually, I have been uplifted. It is still a long journey, but I definitely feel the difference when comparing myself to how I once was. Now, I look at life differently. I am thankful to Teacher and to my friend who introduced Falun Dafa to me, giving me the opportunity to become a Dafa practitioner that I am proud to be. A fellow practitioner once said, "How do we repay Teacher? How do we show our appreciation? Perhaps persistence in our practice is the way."
