(Clearwisdom.net) At the end of February 2005, I suddenly experienced a large amount of blood in my stool. It happened at least once a day, sometimes twice. Similar conditions have occurred once, three years ago. At that time, the discharge was mostly blackish, red thick blood. Afterwards, my body would feel very relaxed. The condition lasted for less than a week. I knew it had been the cleansing of bad things in my body; and I even felt glad. But this time the conditions were different. The blood was fresh and red, and was discharged in large amounts. Once I was using a bedpan and noticed that the blood continued to flow. It seemed like a blood vessel had broken.
I had never had any hemorrhoid-related illnesses or similar issues, so how could these conditions occur? My first realization was that I must have some big loopholes that the old forces took advantage of. This phenomenon lasted for about 20 days. I made the best use of time in those twenty days to practice the exercises, study the Fa, and send forth righteous thoughts. However, the discharging of blood still continued. Each time afterwards, other than feeling some discomfort around the waist, my body did not feel any other discomfort.
Some of my human thoughts were beginning to surface, but I would clearly realize that they were forms of interference. Ever since I started practicing Falun Dafa in 1998, a lot of experiences have helped me gain a stronger faith in Dafa. I knew that the old forces had taken advantage of me, and I had to overcome them! Below is my understanding and experience.
Through looking inside myself, I found that in these few years I had a very strong attachment to lust. Although in the past I had a strong desire to get rid of these filthy thoughts, they still come and go repeatedly. Sometimes I could do better, other times not. I have seen Master's lectures many times, and I knew that I had filthy thoughts, thoughts that a cultivator must get rid of. But sometimes I just did not pass the test. When conversing with fellow practitioners, I constantly avoided discussing my heavily-concealed attachment to lust. I wanted to cover it up and was afraid of people saying that I cultivated poorly. So, my problem persisted. Every time after I failed the test, I would feel very pained. On more than one occasion I would slap myself on the face, but I just did not do well.
In the course of experience sharing, fellow practitioners told me kindly that I have attachments to food and drink. I loved eating hot peppers too much, and any meal without hot peppers was not appetizing to me. I also loved drinking tea too much--I almost could not drink plain water. In addition, I also liked to eat meat and had some other relatively intense attachments. These I was able to realize by myself, but had always thought that they were not a big issue and that there was no need to pay much attention to them. Furthermore, I thought that overcoming these was no problem, so those attachments became more serious. I even liked to show off as a tea connoisseur in front of fellow practitioners. Although the problem does not seem to be that big, letting it go unchecked was unacceptable. Once I realized this, I began to overcome these attachments, but at the same time I did not develop a fear of eating hot peppers or drinking tea, either.
Upon finding these attachments, I became more at peace than before when studying the Fa, doing the exercises and sending forth righteous thoughts. And of course, I clarified the truth whenever there was a chance.
Through Fa study I realized the following: What the old forces arranged at low levels cannot restrict us. It may be that the old forces arranged my having blood in the stool to make me think that my body should be affected and I had contracted some major disease. This is similar to the illegal persecution of fellow practitioners in prison, and the incident mentioned in Zhuan Falun where the blindfolded subject listened to the dripping of tap water and thought it was his blood dripping. When some fellow practitioners get into car accidents, why is it that some escape unscathed, some receive minor injuries, and some have serious consequences? These are all caused by one's own mental point of view. One's mindset at that moment determines the outcome. I realized that first I must not acknowledge this interference, since the old forces had wanted me to feel that I was not well. I am Master's disciple, and everything goes by what Master says! Even though the old forces had made a nest in my loophole, I could still overcome this tribulation quickly. I said, "I do not acknowledge your arrangements! I can break through the evil arrangements by the old forces."
It may be that in certain cases the sickness symptoms do lessen or go away, but what should we do if the manifestations of sickness do not lessen? I see it this way: As a Dafa disciple, one must steadfastly believe in Master and believe in Dafa. Because experiences over the years already sufficiently prove that as long as we believe in Master and the Fa, anything can be accomplished. Every veteran disciple has had profound experiences in this regard. If one's body is overtaken by very serious conditions of sickness and it lasts for quite a long time, then that must mean one has some obvious loophole that is being taken advantage of by the old forces. Otherwise, the old forces will not dare to carry out the persecution. We must let go of attachments and look inside ourselves for shortcomings. We should also share experiences with fellow practitioners and hear out their opinions. If these things can be done, then I think the old forces' persecution can be very quickly broken through. Once I found my problem, I immediately sent forth righteous thoughts to eradicate the evil, and I firmly corrected myself. I found that on the second night, very little blood was discharged. On the third day, everything was fine.
I have only the greatest gratitude for Master. I again profoundly experienced that a steadfast belief in Master, a steadfast belief in Dafa and holding steadfast righteous thoughts are of the utmost importance.
March 23, 2005
