(Clearwisdom.net) I obtained the Fa four years ago, and I've been a student for all that time. The biggest obstacle I've faced in cultivation practice is not knowing how to handle the relationship between my education and Dafa. The fact is I haven't done well in school. I tend to procrastinate to the last minute before finishing my assignments and the quality of my work was less than perfect. I hadn't learned what I supposed to learn, and because I hadn't done well as a student, it affected the quality of my doing the three things a Dafa practitioner should do.
Master said in Zhuan Falun,
"Whether a person likes to do something or not, is happy or unhappy, loves or hates something, and everything in the entire human society comes from this sentimentality."
When I read this sentence, I realized that procrastinating in my schoolwork was the effect of my attachment to sentimentality [sentimentality is also referred to in Chinese as qing]. Because I didn't properly fulfill the duties of a good student, my ability to do well the three things a Dafa practitioner should do was also affected. Also, the less I studied the Fa, the worse my cultivation condition became, and it became a vicious circle.
Master also said,
"If this sentimentality is not relinquished, you will be unable to practice cultivation. If you are free from this sentimentality, nobody can affect you. An everyday person's mind will be unable to sway you..." (Zhuan Falun)
I realized that because I dreaded bearing hardships, being diligent and dealing with difficult problems, the evil forces had taken advantage of me and intensified my attachment, so I was stuck at the same level in cultivation and unable to advance. I was unable to do the three things well, and unable to save people, and this situation was causing losses for Dafa.
In the last sentence of the same paragraph, Master said,
"Of course, it is not easy to abandon this sentimentality right away. Cultivation practice is a long process and a process of gradually giving up one's attachments. Nonetheless, you must be strict with yourself." (Zhuan Falun)
Even though I realized where the interference came from and what my problems were, and I was trying to overcome them, I still found I was sometimes falling short. I also realized I still occasionally lacked confidence. Now I know that I can't relax my efforts and fail to be strict with myself just because I don't see improvement in the short term. I need to be strict and diligent over the long haul in order to improve and advance. I shouldn't doubt myself or think I'm failing just because I don't see improvement in a short period of time.
Master said in "A Reply to the Dafa Disciples of Peru,"
"Dafa disciples' cultivation is done among ordinary people, and this is something never done before in history. If you each travel well your respective paths there are bound to be difficulties, and going forward to meet those difficulties head-on is for the sake of validating Dafa, saving all beings, doing away with the old forces' arrangements, and countering the persecution. The cultivation done in the past never had these things, and Dafa disciples are the pioneers. That is why in cultivation sometimes you will do well, and sometimes you won't know what to do. When you encounter difficulties, sit down and study the Fa some more, and as long as you are righteous in thought and action, there will be no barrier that you can't pass through."
I understand that doing homework is an ordinary person's task, but if I don't do it well, it will affect my ability to fulfill my role in rectifying the Fa and saving sentient beings. As long as I'm not willing to do homework due to my attachments, the evil forces will take advantage of me, and I'll be walking the path they've arranged for me.
Practitioners have to cultivate well and also do their homework well (as well as all of their duties in ordinary society). This cultivation method has never occurred before in history. "Dafa disciples are the pioneers." I am going to start right now, being strict with myself at all times, and learning from my fellow practitioners so we can all improve together.
What I've expressed are my own understandings. Please kindly point out any shortcomings.
December 27, 2005