(Clearwisdom.net) Before I started practicing Falun Gong, I was an introverted and cowardly person, and most of the time I would just grin and bear it in order to compromise for the general interest. I felt helpless in dealing with a lot of people or handling many matters. After I started to cultivate, although I changed a lot, I still could not eliminate this issue on a fundamental level. Actually, this is because I neither could firmly believe in Master and Dafa nor believe I had the powerful ability to change the environment around me. I could not firmly believe from the bottom of my heart that I was a cultivator progressing toward godhood. Whether handling large or small matters and conflicts, I always unconsciously played a role as an assistant to others. This has complied with the arrangements of the old forces, and I did not walk my own cultivation path well. This was apparent in my truth-clarification. The effect of my truth-clarification on those whom I was not familiar with was pretty good, but it was very hard to clarify the truth to my family and friends, and sometimes my efforts were in vain. Sometimes I even thought, "Let it be. I will pass on this one. Let me not be attached to sentimentality. I'll save others first and put this one aside for the moment." Actually it was the notion of being inferior and spiritless, and the feeling of having no alternative that blocked me.
Last night while I was half-sleep and half-awake, I had a dream in which I suddenly saw a male practitioner who had eaten something bad. His eyes were bugging out, and his intestines were exposed. It seemed that he was on the brink of death. When I saw this, I immediately started to send forth righteous thoughts. But soon I called another practitioner, saying, "Hurry up!" At this time, the practitioner who had been in danger yawned and said there was no need to call. Not until then did I find that he had already recovered. His face was flushed and ruddy, and he was even smiling.
I enlightened that this was Master's hint to me. Master has bestowed the divine power of Buddhahood on me. I have the ability to help fellow practitioners, and I have the ability to change everything around me. I just had the thought of sending forth righteous thoughts to help a fellow practitioner, and he immediately recovered. However, I didn't trust my own abilities and again went to ask for others' help. It was only when writing up to this point that I found that Master also used this dream to give me the hint to eliminate my attachments of relying on others, not trusting my own abilities, and my unwillingness to shoulder responsibilities.
I also found that the process of writing about this experience was also a process of finding one's attachments and eliminating them. At the beginning, I didn't know that the objective was for Master to give me a hint through this dream. While writing I realized it and wrote down the attachment, and have also eliminated it from the bottom of my heart. I was also not attached to whether my article would be published or not. I just wanted to write, and the process of writing it is just a process of making improvements. Fellow practitioners, please also take up your pens and write about your own cultivation experiences. Do not be concerned about the level of education you have received, just write about whatever you have in mind. When you truly break through the interference and write about it, you will find that the benefit is immense.
October 20, 2006
