(Clearwisdom.net) Dear Master and Fellow practitioners!
We as a group have not had the opportunity to share cultivation experiences in a setting like this for some time. It is a special occasion. Not only is it an opportunity for us to share, but it is also an opportunity for us to learn from one another. The experience of writing a cultivation sharing paper is also a special gift. I have always benefited a great deal when I write an experience sharing. In the course of writing, prominent attachments or attachments I have been in denial of would surface, and it can even be a little daunting because what we have been reluctant to let go of confronts us squarely.
This is actually my second to third re-writing. The first draft, I admit, glossed over many things I have neglected for a long time. Not that it was intentional. Master, with his immense compassion and knowing, pointed these shortcomings out to me squarely through other practitioners. So there's no escaping it. Realizing the gaping loopholes I have been neglecting, my heart sank.
In a cultivation environment, some practitioners seem to have cultivated well, some appear average, some have certain flaws, some no longer practice and some who seemed to have done well ended up encountering tribulations. How then can one be sure if a practitioner is really doing well, is truly diligent or has hidden loopholes? Over the years I have seen various practitioners encounter different tribulations, and I sometimes compare myself to see where I might stand or if I have fallen short, or have hidden loopholes. How then could I ensure that I was walking a correct path?
I started to practice in 1997 and I have been prone to thought karma from the very beginning. In cultivation over the years, this thought karma has diminished so that it is now no longer a concern. But because of my early propensity for thought karma and its interference, I've learned from the very beginning, that to be steadfast in the Fa is to immerse myself in the Fa. At that time it was before Fa-rectification, and I preoccupied myself with two main things -- immersing myself in Dafa work and enlightening to gain a deeper understanding of the Fa through Fa study. The enlightening and proper understanding of the Fa I felt provided me the grounding I needed in order to maintain a steadfastness and righteous belief in Master. Without it, I found myself on very shaky ground. Master said,
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
Over the years, due to my own overzealousness when it came to Dafa work, I did get quite busy at times so my studying the Fa and exercising took a setback. There were times when I went without study for so long that I felt I was on shaky ground and my righteous belief in Master was wavering. Getting back to Fa study has always helped. But this actually was the beginning of a serious setback of maintaining my diligence as a practitioner.
In my truth clarification, I do see certain gradual improvements and progress over the years. In the beginning I was reluctant to do certain Fa-rectification work. But with steadfast righteous thoughts I am able to break through and carry out the work that is necessary. Often I will meet obstacles that will test my patience and righteous conviction. I have on occasions failed here and there and gotten frustrated and worked up, or fallen flat on my face which really forced me to re-examine what shortcomings I have. After making improvements and upgrading my xinxing, things gradually became smoother. And I am amazed at how often things seem to fall in place one after another.
Take for instance one of my paper route days; sometimes unexpected things would happen that could throw everything off. If I stayed calm and unaffected, things would start falling back in place. At the end of the day I would finish at exactly the time that I normally finish, and at times not a minute more and not a minute less.
In a recent event I had to create poster displays for the World Transplant Conference. I had a product in mind, but didn't really know how to accomplish the end result. Nor did I build a prototype to make sure it worked before I went ahead with it. I only knew how to begin but didn't know the solution to the intermediate step or the end result of the project. It required me to think things over and over. Through trial and error I accomplished the first stage and a solution would be revealed on how to go about things for the next stage. Amidst all this I had to tend to various other projects, but things seemed to fall together if I stayed calm. Intuitively, I know Master often guides me. The final product was a display that was free-standing without having to be strapped or weighted down to resist the wind. Practitioners commented that they were amazed at how these displays would just swing to and fro in the wind, while other displays had to be chased down.
I was also asked to give a speech on the "CCP's History of Killing" at a rally. I didn't have time to prepare and didn't know how to go about it. I just printed out a bunch of stuff. I sat myself down a half hour before the rally and reviewed everything. In ten minutes an approach popped into my head, and a sense of righteousness and conviction welled up inside. I gave the speech "off the cuff" and I felt what I was given were just the right ingredients that enabled me to give a powerful speech, the best I ever did. I could see that even the people across the street were paying attention.
Sometimes after a long spell in which I didn't study the Fa, once I started reading again, a flood of understanding would come up, filling the vacuum that was left by my insufficient Fa study. This enabled me to maintain my righteous belief in Master. Often I would need to write things for Fa-rectification and I would enlighten to so many things in my writing. I was amazed. When I picked up the book to read again I would see all these understandings in the book that I didn't notice before. So despite my lagging behind a little in my Fa study when I got busy with Dafa work, I was able to keep up my righteous belief in Dafa. This I believe was Master's compassion in helping me to stay on course. And I believe, above all, that we have to have a staunch belief in Master, otherwise we cannot be ensured of staying on the right path.
As more time passed, I fell back into complacency. When I got busy I was prone to skip reading and practicing the exercises. Gradually I started to give in to the attachment of comfort: feeling that I needed more sleep and stay in bed longer, or watch a little TV with my roommates so as to conform to ordinary people, as much as possible, and not to appear non-sociable and self-centered. The fact is I've given into the temptations of relaxing a little bit rather than getting myself up to go and study the Fa or exercise.
Teacher said,
"Some people cannot bear the pain in sitting with the legs like that, and they want to give up by putting the legs down. Some people cannot bear it anymore after sitting a little longer. Once the legs are put down, one's practice is in vain. Once the legs are in pain, one will do some warm-ups before resuming the sitting position. We find that this serves no use whatsoever." ("Lecture Four" in Zhuan Falun)
In my understanding, procrastination, hesitancy, laziness and so on are like putting ones legs down. It's been as though I'm taking breaks, and resume when I've relaxed a little bit - it will however serve no use whatsoever. That karma is still around and I have not gotten rid of it. How can an enlightened being be in such a state?
Actually, the miracles I described in my Dafa work are not a big deal either and are the manifestation of the power of Dafa in our Fa-rectification work and cultivation; they manifest as a result of my righteous thoughts and righteous actions as a Fa-rectification disciple. It should not be used as an indicator to how I am doing.
In "Teaching the Fa in San Francisco in 2005," Master related a little bit about how sentient beings in other dimensions might elevate themselves in their cultivation and work:
"When you are able to create good things, it is because you are a good person or because you have done something good. Conversely, only when gods see that you are a good person will they grant you wisdom and allow you to create things." ("Teaching the Fa in San Francisco, 2005 (Lecture and Q&A)")
This is the solution for the loophole of lack of diligence as a Fa-rectification period Dafa disciple. This is not a light thing. Master has provided us with the best path there ever could be and the possibility of the highest position we can reach. Not taking this precious opportunity we are granted is, in my mind, the most stupid thing.
I am not referring to the attainment status that we can reach in the future, but the level of compassion and xinxing we can now cultivate; the enlightening to the Great Law of the cosmos, and the capacity that we would need as great protectors of the new cosmos that Master has installed for us. In looking back, I can see areas where I could have done better if I had studied the Fa more and improved my xinxing. These are lost opportunities and it was all due to my lack of due diligence. How high and pure our cultivation reaches will determine how much mighty virtue we will bring to the new cosmos.
At the same time, the more diligent we are the more improvements we can make, and the more impact we will have in saving sentient beings during the Fa-rectification period. What we say, what we do, and what we think all have a powerful impact in saving sentient beings. This can only be accomplished if we stick diligently to the "thee things" we have to do.
I regret lapsing into this big loophole. One practitioner reminded me, "If you fall down get up immediately." Yes, I have gotten up. Let's treasure this solemn and sacred opportunity that Master has given all of us. Let's work as one body.
Thank you everyone and please point out any shortcoming that you can see.
10/5/2006
