(Clearwisdom.net) For quite some time now, I have been slack in my cultivation. As a result, I have become a prisoner of my own indolence. I tried sending forth righteous thoughts, but it did not have much effect. I know this is not what my true self would want, yet I still have not overcome it. My past diligence has been replaced by the attachment to laziness. Although I feel anxious to get out of this state, my righteous thoughts are not strong enough. Indulging in my situation only amplifies my attachments. After having cultivated for 10 years, I feel unqualified to be called a Dafa disciple in the Fa-rectification period, and I'm ashamed to face Teacher. The old forces use every opportunity and any means to destroy Dafa disciples. The state I am in is very dangerous.
I often ask myself, "Why am I slacking off? What's the root cause?" A year after I first obtained the Fa, Teacher eliminated a great amount of karma for me. The process of eliminating illness karma was truly a test of life and death. It is only because of Teacher's immense compassion that I passed the test, regained my health and have this opportunity to write this experience sharing article. At that moment, I made up my mind to cultivate until the end. With this resolute and firm determination, I passed test after test. Although there have been times when I have stumbled on my cultivation path, I never imagined that I would slack off.
In the past, I unconditionally followed Teacher's Fa. I passed every test due to my steadfast belief in Teacher and Dafa. Nowadays, although I still study the Fa, I don't study with my whole heart. I do the exercises, but not as diligently as before. I have also slackened off in clarifying the truth and sending forth righteous thoughts, using the excuse that I am "following the course of nature." Looking at it on the surface, this is due to my attachment to comfort. Deep down, however, it's because my belief in Teacher and Dafa is no longer as pure. I hold onto Godhood with one hand and human things with the other hand. Dragging my feet in cultivation, I only hinder Teacher's Fa-rectification. As a result of not doing well on my part, this not only hampers my own improvement but also has a negative impact on other practitioners. Thus, Teacher delays the Fa-rectification process again and again because of practitioners like myself.
If we don't believe in Teacher and the Fa wholeheartedly and cultivate within the Fa, are we still considered Dafa practitioners? Then, aren't we following the old forces' path instead of the path arranged by Teacher? Isn't this destroying ourselves and the sentient beings? If we can't fulfill our prehistoric vow, isn't that a crime against Dafa? This is very dangerous! It is like having one foot in the air. If one continues on, one will only fall into an abyss! It's not too late to wake up. Teacher is still giving us opportunities to improve. However, time is of the essence. We should not take Teacher's benevolence for granted. Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles":
"I hope everyone will do better and better at the end. Be sure not to become lax. You must not slack off, and you must not become apathetic."
Teacher clearly expounds on the Fa, but why can't we following his teachings? We all know that our righteous thoughts come from Dafa and Teacher. Only after we have righteous belief can we have righteous thoughts and righteous actions. Only then can we have a firm mind that can conquer anything. If we're resolute in our belief in Teacher and Dafa, we can pass any tribulation. Dafa and cultivation is serious. During this precious last leg of the journey, let's do our best to meet the requirement of the Fa, continue to cultivate diligently, encourage each other to do well and go home with Teacher!
I would like to encourage practitioners to study "Teaching the Fa at the Western U.S. International Fa Conference" so that we can become clear on the problems in our cultivation and understand Dafa's requirements.
