(Clearwisdom.net)
I am a Falun Dafa practitioner. When I was first introduced to the practice, I carried the heart of seeking a cure for my illness. However, after listening to Teacher's first lecture, my attitude towards life completely changed. Teacher immediately clarified my many years' search for the truth of life and from then on, I changed. The principle of "Truth, Compassion, Forbearance" has become my guide in life.
Before I took up Falun Dafa, I had not been very healthy and often fell sick. After practicing Falun Dafa, my whole body underwent tremendous changes--my many recurring ailments disappeared, my body weight stabilized, my cheeks became rosy, and many more wonderful changes happened as well. From then on, I often shared with friends and relatives my experiences and let them know of the marvels of this wonderful practice.
On July 20, 1999, this wonderful practice, which has given millions people a new life, was banned overnight by China's government and practicing publicly and privately became illegal. My immediate family members, colleagues and friends right away started to pressure me to give up Falun Dafa. However, in my heart, I knew this was the only universal principle in existence and that it wass incorruptible. Keeping this righteous thought in mind, I went through hardships and cleared hurdle after hurdle.
All of my siblings and their family members practice Falun Dafa. After the persecution started, every one of us was affected to varying degrees. Of the five members in my eldest sister's family, three of them were each sentenced to three years forced labor for practicing Falun Dafa. One was forced to stay away from home to avoid arrest. As for my sister herself, she has undergone brainwashing three times. Te third time, she submitted under intimidation, which later also caused her to lose her life. My brother was sentenced to 10 years of forced labor, and his wife was imprisoned three times. Her righteous thoughts helped her escape. Despite the tremendous tribulation, my righteous thoughts have remained firm and I have not been scared by the evil forces. On the contrary, my confidence in Teacher grows greater. I know all of those who practice Falun Dafa are good people. We have not done anything wrong. It is the Chinese government that has twisted the facts and accused the wrong people. One day the truth will be revealed.
Since then, I switched from self-cultivation, and devoted my entire time to clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings. With my complete trust in Teacher and under his guidance, I have carried out my work safely for the last few years. I spread the truth wherever I go--in the market, over the dining table, at gatherings, or on a train, and to whoever I meet--relatives, friends, and neighbors. With them, I share the beauty of Dafa and the universal principle of "Truth, Compassion Forbearance." There have been tears, sweat ,and sorrow on this chosen path. There have been many moving incidents as well as dangerous encounters. But, under Teacher's protection, we managed to overcome every one of them.
I would like to share with you a recent experience. Not very long ago, I had the symptom of falling seriously ill. My back was hurt terribly. Because I had been devoting little time into Fa study and practicing the exercises, and resorting more to comfort and leisure, my cultivation was not improving. The moment a hurdle arrived, I fell back to how a normal person would analyze the situation: "I have been practicing Falun Dafa for a long time. Such a problem should not happen to me." My thoughts started to waver, and at that very moment, all my human behavior came out.
Instead of looking into myself from the perspective of the Fa, I phoned up a fellow practitioner and asked for help with stronger righteous thoughts, hoping that my problem would go away quickly. The fact is, I was relying on others to help me. I was not prepared to put up with the pain and suffering from being sick.
A few days later, when I settled down to think over the cultivation path I have been through, I suddenly came to the realization that all along I had been treating clarifying the truth and saving sentient beings as cultivation practice itself. Thinking that I had been keeping up with the three things reasonably well and knowing that other fellow practitioners had often complimented me on my diligence, I was content and enjoyed showing off. My concentration on Fa study dropped and so did my frequency in practicing the exercises. When I should have been upgrading my xinxing, I used Fa validation as an excuse to block the hurdle meant for me to clear. The realization brought me back to more focused Fa study and more frequent exercise practice and righteous thoughts. Gradually, I felt my righteous thoughts become stronger, and I have let go of my many previous attachments of comfort seeking, fear of hardship, etc. When we put our own thoughts aside and put our trust in the Fa and Teacher, I feel we can get over the hurdles set out for us. The interesting thing is, when this thought appeared, I suddenly enlightened to the meaning of Teacher's words:
"Whatever you experience during your cultivation--whether good or bad--is good, for it comes about only because you are cultivating." ("To the Chicago Fa Conference")
When I was hoping that the hurdle would go away quickly, was I not treating good as bad? Isn't it that the harder it is to bear, the greater its ability to expose our attachments and the faster our karma will disappear? Of course, while looking into ourselves, we must refute the arrangements of the old forces. We must not acknowledge their tests.
I would like to share my thoughts with fellow practitioners: While doing the work of Dafa validation and saving sentient beings, we should not forget our own cultivation. I hope every one of us can look into and upgrade ourselves whenever we encounter hurdles. When we have plugged the loopholes to prevent the old forces from taking advantage of us, we are walking the path Teacher has set out for us.
To all our fellow practitioners who are validating Dafa: Regardless of how busy we are, take some time everyday to study the Fa and practice the exercises--there are no strings attached to our assimilation to Dafa. Let us diligently advance, get rid of our final attachments, help save as many sentient beings as we can, and realize our prehistoric goal. Finally, let our lives manifest their glory during this period of Fa rectification.