(Clearwisdom.net) In the past, I didn't have a clear understanding about sending forth righteous thoughts. Whenever I sent forth righteous thoughts, strong feelings of hatred, thoughts of revenge, and the competitive mentality would emerge. My mind was everywhere and I could not clam down. I then began to develop the attachment to time. I felt as though I did not have any righteous thoughts left, and thus my sending forth righteous thoughts had no effect. As a result, I gradually reduced the number of times I sent forth righteous thoughts. Even when practitioners all over the world sent forth righteous thoughts at the set times, I would only do it as a formality. I couldn't keep my hand in the lotus position. The evil was gradually pulling me down without my realizing it.
One day, I was illegally arrested. While subjected to torture, I continuously sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil that was persecuting me. However, it did not seem to have much effect. At that time, I kept on reciting the Fa and adjusting my mental state for sending forth righteous thoughts. However, the persecution was vicious: they poured a mixture of water and hot mustard into my nose, tried to force me to tell them the source of the Falun Gong materials, and asked me to identify certain people including the local coordinator. Still, I was determined to not cooperate and held on to one thought, "I should not do anything that a practitioner should not do."
When I clarified the truth to them, they would not listen. I felt enormous pressure and wondered when the torture would end. They threatened, "We'll keep doing this until you tell us." I could no longer endure the pain. My hands were cuffed behind my back with one hand pulled over my shoulder. Although it was already painful, they would suddenly pull the cuff downward, causing more pain. It felt like my joints were dislocated. At this point, I could not figure out what my attachments were or the loophole that caused others to identify me to the police.
As I kept asking Teacher for help, I continued to send forth righteous thoughts and recite the Fa. Because I memorized much of the Fa, I immediately remembered Teacher's articles, "Fa Cannot be Broken" and "Get Rid of the Last Attachment." I realized that my passively enduring the persecution was caused by my own fear. I must follow Teacher's teaching and do things well.
I then closed my eyes and calmed my mind as if nothing were happening to me. Immediately, all the tension in my body went away and I became relaxed. On the surface, my body seemed to be in an unconscious state, but my mind was very much aware. They said, "You want to pretend. We will see how long you can last. We have all the time in the world. Nobody would know if a Falun Gong practitioner died. It's nothing." They poked my nose and ears with a stick, but I did not move or feel any pain. They released the handcuffs. When they moved my arms up and down, I did not feel anything. One of their leaders told them to put me down. They finally released the shackles on my feet and body.
So with one righteous thought, the evil stopped persecuting me. I realized that Teacher was next to me and looking after me. As long as I could enlighten to it and not be moved in my heart, Teacher could help me overcome all tribulations.
During the time I was being persecuted, my fellow practitioners sent forth righteous thoughts, exposed the evil on the Internet, and made phone calls to clarify the truth. My three sisters, who are all practitioners, went to the police bureau, the police station, the 610 Office, the police sub-bureau, the community office, the criminal investigation unit, and the judiciary bureau to ask for my release. They sent forth righteous thoughts at home first, and then visited the offices to clarify the truth. Sometimes, they visited several places in a day. Later, one of the case officers went up to my wife and said, "I am begging you, tell the Falun Gong practitioners to stop calling me. I cannot pay for the phone bill any more. Besides, I did not arrest your husband or beat him. I know that all the Falun Gong practitioners are pretty good...." This police officer eventually learned the truth and stopped persecuting Falun Gong.
After twenty-one days, I finally returned home. Over ten days later, I had completely recovered physically. I am so grateful to Teacher.
I spent more time studying the Fa and looking within about why my righteous thoughts did not dissolve the evil and become god-like. Why did my hand kept collapsing when sending forth righteous thoughts? Of the three things Teacher asked us to do, is this one less important? Why couldn't I do it well? I was determined to sit up straight and keep my hand in the required position when sending forth righteous thoughts. If I could do it, the evil would be destroyed and the persecution of other practitioners would lessen. Once I had a clear understanding, I was able to adjust my state of mind and eliminate the bad stuff while sending forth righteous thoughts. With enough righteous thoughts, my hand no longer falls down or closes in when sending forth righteous thoughts.
Recently, I saw that some practitioners couldn't do the hand mudras or fell asleep while sending forth righteous thoughts. Some do not even realize it until after awhile. Some practitioners who work in the field are very tired. They fall asleep while sending forth righteous thoughts. By the time they wake up, the time has passed. One practitioner said he fell asleep as soon as his hands were in the Jieying position, and by the time he remembered to hold his palm erect, twenty minutes had already passed.
When we shared our experiences, they all understood the Fa, but still could not put it in action. When I saw this, I thought I should share my own experience. We should all look inside to see if there is any attachment we have not gotten rid of. Let's find our attachments and get rid of them. We cannot let Teacher keep worrying about us. How could we be worthy of the title Fa-rectification Dafa disciple? Please wake up! Otherwise, we will not be able to clear our own dimensions. It might also interfere with other practitioners.
