(Clearwisdom.net) I obtained the Fa in 1995. In my path of cultivation, sometimes I am diligent, but sometimes I have not been. From reading Teacher's articles published since October 2005, I have a new understanding of the Fa. I can feel a big change in myself. It seems that only now, after so many years, have I found the right direction on the path of cultivation. The following is my sharing about my experience of cultivation in the recent period.
Some time in the past, my surrounding environment suddenly became hostile. At the same time, my cultivation also had big loopholes. For a whole month, I did not study the Fa or do the three things well. One of my family members talked with me and tried to warn me that I was in a very dangerous situation, that I could be arrested at any time. I didn't know how to respond because I had never heard anyone say that to me before. My first reaction was: "I won't listen, no matter what you say." My family member kept talking, but I did not take in a single word. I knew that it is not wrong to practice Falun Gong. Whatever people say, they won't change my opinion.
With this thought getting stronger, I found myself become calmer and more composed. I felt myself getting into the micro dimension. The notions and attachments that I had formed in my poor cultivation state were cleaned away. Living under the "dangerous situation," as my family member called it, I found that the benefits a person can obtain in society are unreal, like an illusion. Only Teacher and the Fa are indeed real, the real truth. When I had this understanding, my postnatal notions disappeared. I finally found my true self. My attitude toward my family member changed, and I no longer kept a deaf ear to him. Instead, I began to check myself on everything he said. I asked myself if I cultivated well in the aspect he questioned, and sometimes found that I still had a certain attachment. I understood that the evil was trying to scare me by using my family member's mouth and his words. Yet, the evil could not frighten me. Teacher used this situation to help me break through ordinary people's mentality.
Thank you, Teacher. I had a feeling of being reborn. When my family member suggested that I should hide somewhere to avoid being seized, I told him without hesitation that the perpetrators could not get me. I no longer looked at the current situation as evil persecuting me. My understanding is that our Teacher used the situation to help me to be diligent on the path of cultivation and be more clear-minded at the same time. It also depends on how you understand this. At the same time, I realized that I had not talked with my family about the persecution of Falun Gong in the past six years. The persecution was a topic I had tried to avoid. I had a notion that it was not easy to clarify the truth to your family members. Teacher used this situation to help me break through this barrier.
My family members are also the people that I should save. This thought changed my attitude toward him. I feel that it is my obligation to save him and tell him the facts of Falun Gong. When my family member saw that he could not change my mind, he stopped talking to me about it. Teacher said in "Teaching the Fa at the 2005 Canada Fa Conference":
"At that time, when the evil CCP's suppression and persecution were about to begin, I said something to you: I said that just by remaining unmoved you could handle all situations. (Enthusiastic applause) Of course, some students grasped what I said, while others took it to mean, don't do anything, don't take any action. (Teacher laughs) (Everyone laughs) Being "unmoved" refers to a person's steadfast righteous thoughts and righteous faith being unmoved. It wasn't about ignoring a Dafa disciple's responsibility of saving beings and not even taking the path of cultivating and improving yourselves through ordeals. How could that work?"
After reading it, I knew that I did not do anything wrong. It is as, "by remaining unmoved you could handle all situations."
Above is the result of the first talk between my family member and me. I had three phases of change during that time. At the beginning, I kept a deaf ear to him. Whatever he said, I would continue with what I was doing. During the second phase, I could listen to what he said, and mostly look inward to find where I had not cultivated well. It was purely self-cultivation. In the third phase, I broke through the barrier made by my notions and attachments, and realized that I should clarify the truth to him to save him. Through the progress of my cultivation, I clearly understand that a firm belief in Teacher is fundamentally important. Because of this firm belief, you can find your true self in any situation and will not be lost on the path of cultivation. Studying the "Fa" well will help you to see through the evil's tricks in the persecution, and you won't treat the persecution using human notions. You will be clear minded with righteous thoughts and be able to look at the persecution from the perspective of Fa rectification. When you do, the persecution is in fact nothing at all.
I thought that I did well on this thing because I did not follow the old force's arrangement. So, I expected that this kind of test should no longer come up again. But I was wrong. Very soon, my family started the second talk with me. What they said was the same as that of the last time, except this time their tone was harsher. How come this thing still happened? I looked into myself and found my loopholes. Though I did well in the last talk, I did not keep doing well after that. In other words, I knew how and what to do, but I did not really implement it in reality. Teacher said in "Solid Cultivation" (Hong Yin):
"Let each and every thing
be measured against the Fa.
Only then, with that,
is it actually cultivation."
Just thinking about something without taking action cannot accomplish anything. So, I started trying to talk with my family member about the truth of Falun Gong and the persecution. But the result was not good. I was emotional, and he was even more emotional. I found myself having nothing to say. I only know that Falun Dafa is good, but didn't know how to explain why Dafa is good. I sent forth righteous thoughts and looked inward. I recalled the Fa that Teacher gave regarding why the results were disappointing when clarifying the truth to family members. I calmed down first, and then talked with him peacefully. After I did so, he became calm also. I introduced Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party to him. From the second talk with my family, I realized that I truly should be diligent and solid on the cultivation, and take action whenever having an understanding and thought to do something.
After that, I started to take action to be diligent in cultivation. I did the three things daily, and I read all of Teacher's articles since July 20, 1999. Then a very interesting thing happened, and it also helped to trigger the third talk with my family. One day I said to Teacher in my heart, "Teacher, your student knows that a person's job in society is arranged by higher beings. I currently don't have a job. There must be something that I need to cultivate in myself. My hesitation is also an element that affects it. Now, I want to find a job. I sincerely ask for Teacher's help." Within five minutes after I said that, a previous classmate whom I had not seen for a long time called me asking if I wanted to work in Beijing. I told her that I needed to discuss it with my family member before I could give her my decision.
That night, I talked with my family about the job along with the truth of Falun Gong. I noticed three types of human thoughts during the talk: One is that people are longing for the end of the persecution, the collapse of Chinese Communist Party. The other is that, because we ourselves did not do well, we left the people with misunderstandings about us. For example, a long time ago there was a flyer saying that Jiang Zemin would die very soon. But, Jiang is still alive. It caused people to be disappointed and reluctant to accept the imminent collapse of the CCP and the truth of the persecution. The other is that the evil elements which have not being eliminated are controlling and affecting people. People who are under their influence behave irrationally, and even viciously. That day I tried to have them quit from all organizations of the CCP, but I was unsuccessful. I felt very sad for myself and for my inability to save people. I said to Teacher from my heart, "Teacher, I did not do well to clarify the truth. But, I must and will work harder on it."
The things that happened during those weeks were like those in all the previous years of my cultivation. All the aspects that I did not do well in the past were brought out, and I was given another chance to do well. I felt the seriousness of cultivation and its greatness, magnificence and glory. When my heart was on the Fa, I felt that Teacher was helping me every minute. I better and more clearly understood the Fa every minute. Later, a fellow practitioner told me that the night I told her I was going to Beijing, she heard a voice say "Teacher is happy" when she was preparing to send forth the righteous thoughts. Then she saw a few red Chinese words that said "Teacher is happy." When I heard this, tears ran down my face.
Through cultivation, I am changing. I know that I am determined in my cultivation. The way things change in the world is just an illusion. The most important thing is how we ourselves look at the changes. I remember Teacher's poem "The Big Stage" (Hong Yin Vol.2):
"Five thousand years of human civilization,
has China Proper as the stage.
Foolishly absorbed in what unfolds in the play,
the grotesque scenes seem beautiful.
Awakening, people look at one another,
and realize the stage was being set for the Fa.
Teacher, thank you for taking so much trouble to save me and for not giving up on a single student.
I also understand that we not only need to change our human notions, but also include the notions formed during the persecution. For example, "fear" and "danger" had become an instinctive reaction when I heard about something bad happening or when someone was arrested. The first thought was "danger, get out of the way" or thinking that the evil could take more action. Certainly, this is not saying that we don't need to pay attention to anything in the human world. That goes to the other extreme. This kind of instinctive, conditioned reaction doesn't exist in an environment without persecution. In the past, during the period of self cultivation, no one was afraid of carrying the book Zhuan Falun. We felt proud wearing the Falun emblem. In other words, this instinctive conditioned reaction (notions) should not exist. If practitioners have such notions, don't we strengthen the bad elements? Both "fear" and "danger" are alive and material. When you have these notions, you are giving it energy and providing a space for it to stay.
The above is what I experienced and my understanding from recent happenings around me. I feel that Teacher is lifting us quickly to higher levels. With a diligent heart, you will find that Teacher is helping you to improve in every moment. My understanding is limited to my current cultivation level. Please help to point out anything inappropriate.
January 29, 2006
