(Clearwisdom.net)
Getting Rid of Fear and Safeguarding Falun Dafa
Since childhood, I was often beaten for no apparent reason. After I got married, both my husband and mother-in-law also had hot tempers. For the last several decades, I became timid and helpless, with a disposition to compromise and overcautiousness. This deviated mentality enveloped me tightly and seriously hampered my cultivation and the validation of Dafa.
After July 20, 1999, when the evil persecution of Falun Gong started, dark clouds and a reign of terror covered all of Mainland China. Every time I saw the cruel torture of Dafa practitioners, I would tremble with fear; a fear like a poisonous snake, ingrained in my mind, gobbling up my righteous thoughts and righteous mind. The police and my work unit threatened me: "Those practitioners who went to Beijing were all arrested and detained for ten days or two weeks. If you go, you will be sentenced to eight or ten years in prison." At that time I didn't have a good understanding of the Fa and didn't know to negate the arrangement made by the old forces. This was the main reason preventing me from going to Tiananmen Square to validate Dafa.
On September 26, 2000, the Minghui/Clearwisdom website published an article, "Serious Teachings." It awakened me from my misunderstanding. How can a Dafa disciple, who doesn't listen to Teacher and not defend and validate Dafa, be called a Dafa disciple? On October 4, 2000, filled with determination, I left a note for my family and went with two other practitioners to Beijing to validate Dafa. This was the first time my unit had given me a vacation since July 20, 1999. I realized that Teacher knew I had righteous thoughts and thus set me free from their control and created a condition for me to validate Dafa.
Upon arriving at Beijing, we were told that many practitioners had been arrested when they went to Tiananmen Square to clarify the truth on October 1. Many practitioners were planning to go to Tiananmen Square at that time, but the evil had learned of it and had tightened up security. As we were sharing ideas with local practitioners, a fellow practitioner moved me a great deal when she said, "I will go to Tiananmen Square. I'll dress up beautifully. I will go in with smile and come out with smile as well." I realized how far behind my cultivation was when compared to other practitioners.
Although I didn't achieve the goal of validating Dafa, this trip helped me get rid of many of my attachments and break the bondage that held me in its thralls. It laid the foundation for me to go to Tiananmen Square to validate Dafa in the future, with the thought of "going in and coming out with smile." After arriving home, a 610 Office chief talked to me and said with emotion, "No wonder the higher authorities were afraid of your going to Beijing. You all changed after you went."
From this trip I realized that Teacher would help us let go of our attachments, even if they were as hard as granite. It didn't matter how many attachments we had, as long as we dared to face them without holding on to them, and follow what Teacher told us to do with righteous thoughts and a righteous mind.
I also realized that cultivation is very serious. As long as you have a single thought not within the Fa, you will be interfered with by the evil.
When your concept changes, wisdom will appear
I always envied those practitioners who could use the computer. I always felt that the computer was a product of high tech and that one would need to know English and special skills to be able to use a computer. I was extremely interested in the computer and wanted to use it to do Dafa work. But I didn't have an opportunity or the skills. In January 2004, I used the excuse of our child needing to learn to use the computer to persuade my husband to buy one. After opening the box, I was shocked. I didn't even know how to turn it on or off, not to mention operating it. I began to have doubts about my ability to learn how to use it.
With such misgivings, I went to see a practitioner who was familiar with computers. The fellow practitioner told me, "Learning how to use a computer is actually very easy. You are being hindered by your own notions. Be bold. You won't damage anything. At worst, we can just reinstall the operating system." I thought about it and realized that everything in the universe is created for Dafa; besides, I am a Dafa practitioner. The wisdom bestowed upon us by Teacher and Dafa is versatile. Teacher says in Zhuan Falun, "No matter how advanced a computer is, it is still no match for the human brain." How could a computer stop me? Besides, there is Teacher and the Fa, as well as fellow practitioners who know computers; what was I afraid of?
I thus found my child's computer book and started to learn it. In the beginning, things like disappearance of the toolbox, the wrong items being deleted, and so on, happened. It was really difficult for me, but I wasn't discouraged at all. I tried my best to figure out all I needed, and only when I was really stuck would I go to see a fellow practitioner for help. I knew that all fellow practitioners who worked with computers were very busy, so I tried my best not to bother them. Every time a fellow practitioner came over to help me with the computer, I would watch closely what he/she did. I was very attentive. I watched the practitioner installing the system and I thus would also learn to install it. When my computer wasn't functioning properly, I re-installed the system and software myself.
I quickly became familiar with the computer. I did typesetting, compiling, recording, printing, making pamphlets, and so on. Fellow practitioners were surprised at how quickly I had learned. Some said, "I tinkered with these things for ten years, but you learned them in just two to three months." I smiled and said, "It is because you weren't a cultivator then, but I am now." It's truly so. I accomplished these not because I was smart, but because of Teacher's help. It is because I embraced a pure heart: I only want to help Teacher to rectify the Fa and save sentient beings. It is the most sacred and the most honored thing that I am a Dafa practitioner in this life and can do a little thing for Dafa. Many countless lives in high levels are envious and want to participate but do not have the opportunity to carry out such boundless beneficent things. Why don't we do it?
Many miracles happened while I learned the use of a computer. Once, when I opened a electronic pamphlet, the monitor showed four page arrangements, horizontally and vertically. I was sitting there blankly: How am I going to compile this? As soon as I thought about it, the sideways arrangement of pages became up and down arrangement. I suddenly realized that Teacher was helping me. Once, when I saw that a fellow practitioner made a beautiful CD cover, I was so envious that I thought to myself: "When will I be able to do it?" Soon, the Minghui/Clearwisdom website had an article entitled, "How to Make a Beautiful CD Cover Easily." Such things happened frequently. I knew that Teacher was helping me and that also, it was the miracle of Dafa.
Teacher says:
"In the future there will then be many experts and scholars whose wisdom will be broadened through the Buddha Fa. They will become the new mankind's pioneers in different fields of learning. Yet it is not for you to become a pioneer that the Buddha Fa has given you wisdom. You have attained it because you are a cultivator. That is, you are first a cultivator and then an expert. Then, as a cultivator, you should make use of all feasible conditions to spread Dafa and validate Dafa as a correct and true science, rather than preaching or idealism--this is every cultivator's obligation." ("Validation" from Essentials For further Advancement)
