(Clearwisdom.net) I am a new practitioner. I started to practice one year ago. I review often what I have learned and experienced during the past year. When the Minghui/Clearwisdom website made an announcement recently asking for articles, I wanted to write one, but my attachments repeatedly made me hesitate. Whenever I think of everything Master has endured in order to save me, I regret my hesitation. The fact is that the process of writing an article is also a process of cultivation and improvement. Therefore I decided that I have to take this opportunity to report to Master what I have gained and learned. This will encourage me to work more diligently, and allow other practitioners to point out where I fall short.

I waited a long time before I started to practice Falun Dafa. I previously learned two different kinds of qigong, mainly for the purpose of getting health benefits. At that time, qigong was very popular in China. Then I stepped into an evil practice by mistake, but after I recognized the problem I immediately withdrew from that practice. I encountered Falun Dafa during that period, but did not take it up. From my experience I learned very clearly that if a person wants to cultivate, he needs a teacher who is able to look after his/her students. Without the protection of a teacher it will not work. I looked forward to having a teacher who would lead me on the right path. At the end of last year, my predestined relationship became obvious. Master arranged for me to borrow the book Zhuan Falun, from someone, and my whole life has since changed.

Reading Zhuan Falun touched me deeply. I believe that it showed me my true wishes from deep inside of me. I indeed wanted to be a high level being with wisdom, so I decided to start the practice immediately. I experienced physical changes during the first month of reading the book. After a few days with diarrhea I was able to feel the Falun (law wheels) turning in my abdomen. I also saw many Falun turning above my head and on my body. The following words from Master were very true for me:

"True Dafa practitioners will undergo the same experiences by reading this book, and they will be able to obtain whatever they deserve all the same." ("Issue of Pursuit" in Zhuan Falun from 2000 translation version)

I swore that I would make myself worthy of Master's compassionate care, and I would practice with determination. During the times that I suffered the most or came across some dangers, Master would appear and protect me. When I passed a test, Master would disclose something beautiful from the future in order to encourage me to continue. I always felt Master's compassion toward me. I also saw how Master purified my body and cured my chronic illnesses.

Falun Dafa opened a completely new world. A whole year of practice made me understand that cultivation is very serious and that it is not "child's play." The way to heaven is a straight one, and we cannot even take a half-step in the wrong direction. Constantly studying the Fa is proof of moving forward in the right direction. My first impression of the Fa was that it was written in simple and plain words. While reading the book repeatedly, I often experience a sudden enlightenment or understanding when reading some specific words. That feeling is simply great. Dafa books have helped me to move forward systematically. They helped me to solve substantial problems during my cultivation, and made me feel that I cannot live without the books anymore. I developed certain understandings about the reasons for my poor health during practicing those other qigong exercises. Dafa helped me to clear up my wrong thoughts along with the dark shadows the thoughts created around me.

Knowing that the current cultivation period is for the Fa rectification, I spent a long time rectifying my attitude towards studying the Fa. I had to change from the way I used to study theories, and to maintain the mindset of "gaining naturally without pursuing." I realized that only when my mind was clear could I melt into Dafa. I feel that as long as I am willing to learn Dafa from the standpoint of a child learning his/her ABCs, learn it slowly and steadily, I will be able to learn it quickly and understand it as well.

The process of memorizing Lunyu was my first lesson. It should not be very hard for an educated person to memorize something. Yet it took me a long time to memorize it. I kept forgetting it; it was hard to learn. Little by little, I started to understand that it was only hard because I did not really understand it. The entire content of Dafa is in Lunyu, but it was impossible for me to understand it completely. Then I realized that all of my acquired knowledge and experience did not work for me in this case.

I can memorize and recite some paragraphs of Dafa, but it took me a longer time to really understand the meaning of the words and apply them into my life. Take, for instance, the article "Cautionary Advice" from Essentials for Further Advancement. I memorized it as follows:

"If you do not want to change your human state and rationally rise to a true understanding of Dafa, you will miss the opportunity." "If you do not change the human logic that you, as an ordinary human, have formed deep in your bones over thousands of years, you will be unable to break away from this superficial human shell and reach Consummation." ("Cautionary Advice" in Essentials for Further Advancement)

I did not understand what "rationally ris[ing] to a true understanding" does to the "superficial human shell?" I didn't understand it until I read Master's other articles and understood the general structure of the material world and the cosmos. At the same time, I also understood what Master said,

"The Fa has different levels. A cultivator's understanding of the Fa is his understanding of the Fa at his cultivation level. Different cultivators understand the Fa differently because they are at different levels. The Fa has different requirements for cultivators at different levels." ("Non-Omission" from Essentials for Further Advancement)

The key thing for practitioners is to improve their xinxing by letting go of all human attachments and desires. I only knew that the Buddha school cultivation is directed towards people's hearts. People need to let go of their attachments to fame, material interests and emotions, and endure a lot in cultivation. I experienced a test concerning fame and material interests before I became a Dafa practitioner. That feeling was really not very good, even though it was the result of my own choice. Ever since I started cultivation, I truly feel that it is difficult and hard. I am impressed by the fact that a cultivator has so many attachments to get rid of. I used to think that I was a kind person, but when I started to cultivate seriously, I ran into many issues. I felt terrible when I faced trouble, I even cried. All these things were new to me and had never occurred before learning the Fa. Therefore, I truly felt that Dafa is righteous, and could expose all bad thoughts. Such thoughts would gradually become noticeable to true cultivators; they could not stay hidden.

As a person, I tend to be cooperative instead of fighting, but when I am being controlled by my demonic side, I could even become argumentative with my grandchildren. Our relationship became intense because they did not respect me. My daughter criticized me for lowering myself down to a childish level. I felt extremely sad and could not put up with it. First, I did not talk to them, and then I defended myself thinking that I was rectifying what was not righteous. When I started to look within, I found that I had a mindset of self-righteousness, but I failed to recognize that self-righteousness is also a human notion a cultivator needs to get rid of.

Then I finally realized the reason for this problem was that I looked at myself as an ordinary person. I forgot that I was a cultivator and failed to have righteous thoughts. Practitioners are moving toward godhood; therefore, everything we do should be supernormal. What is supernormal? Actually it is not acting as normal people do, and not being attached to anything of ordinary people. When we encounter difficulties, we need to measure everything from the perspective of the Fa instead of using ordinary human measures. If we cannot behave as practitioners, then doesn't that mean we are ordinary persons? This is dangerous! I learned a lot from this situation. I also realized that in cultivation, nothing is trivial. Just like what Master said:

"As long as you still have everyday people's attachments, those are what demons can use, and when you're not paying attention they can be used at any moment."("Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Boston")

Master also said:

"If a person wants to be saved, he must transcend the fact that he is in and experiencing firsthand a tough environment where there is adversity, self interest, emotions and desires. Everything will involve a cultivator's self-interest, and anything can affect you as a person, your thoughts and emotions, your xinxing, and the things that you are attached to inside. If you manage to take a certain path and make certain choices, then you are extraordinary." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")

This case revealed my misunderstandings about Master's teaching, "rectify anything unrighteous." Such ability will develop during a practitioners' cultivation. It is the natural manifestation of the "energy field" derived from the high-energy matter. Just like Master said:

"If your thoughts are very righteous, when you walk down the street and go about your life in the city where you live, all of your surroundings will be cleansed. Your mere existence has the effect of saving sentient beings." ("Teaching the Fa at the 2004 International Fa Conference in New York")

When I started to practice, the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party had just been published. At that time, I was not clear about the situation of Fa rectification and the persecution of practitioners. I only cared about reading the book and doing the exercises, and did not actively learn about the truth. I browsed through the Minghui/Clearwisdom website and read Master's many articles, as well as facts and historical reviews. After reading everything, I was outraged because I had been deceived for a long time by the Chinese Communist Party's (CCP) lies, and now knew that practitioners are so great. I therefore respected Master and believed in the Fa even more. Since then, I started to live by the standard set for practitioners in the Fa rectification period and in my cultivation.

All of a sudden, my cultivation requirements increased to a much higher level. In order to improve during my cultivation and to pick up the pace of Fa rectification, I decided to catch up to others as soon as I could. However, I was worried that I may be left behind. I recalled what Master had pointed out:

"If you want to be a practitioner, it all depends on cultivating your heart and on you, yourself being enlightened since there are no role models. Fortunately, today we have made public this Dafa. In the past, if you wished to practice cultivation, nobody would teach you. This way, you can follow Dafa and perhaps you will do better. Whether you can practice cultivation or make it and what level you can reach all depend on you, yourself." (Zhuan Falun)

I decided that I would not think of anything else, and use most of my time every day to study the Fa, practice the exercises, eliminate all interferences and remove my human notions which prevent me from moving forward. In addition, I started to clarify the truth.

During this period, I realized that doing the three things well in the Fa rectification period is the most effective and straightforward way of cultivation. Because the environment is more difficult and complicated, a cultivator can improve his xinxing more profoundly. This means that a cultivator has to endure more, while continuing to do everything well. Upon understanding all of this, I paid more attention when studying the Fa, and eliminated my multitudinous human notions, which had accumulated in this world. Actually, concerning the issue of human notions, Master pointed out in the second sentence of Lunyu,

"humankind must fundamentally change its conventional thinking." (Zhuan Falun)

At first, I did not understand it. Later, Master talked about this issue many times. In "For Whom do You Exist?" (Essentials for Further Advancement) He specifically touches on the nature of these human notions. This touched me deeply, and my understanding was upgraded. Now I feel that I can actively eliminate human concepts.

Now I can understand why someone might be stubborn and give me a hard time, or get enraged and prevent me from talking. At times, when I disliked people after trying to clarify the truth to them (and failed), it was because they had been misled and were controlled by their evil side at that moment. Sometimes we just have to leave them alone. Moreover, I should not hate them or feel saddened. I should have "a heart of great Forbearance," and actively work to eliminate the demons behind them. Even if it does not work immediately, I should not just casually give up.

Regarding the fact that at first I did not want to read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, I realized that the evil Party's culture had poisoned me more severely than I had thought. At the same time, I discovered my human attachments. I was never interested in politics, I am afraid of bloody scenes, and therefore never watch violent movies. I do not want to expose myself to negative messages. I tend to gravitate toward a simple and peaceful life. All of these attachments directly prevented me from clarifying the truth. My attachment of fear caused me to lose many opportunities for clarifying the truth. I started to send forth righteous thoughts every time I needed it. I wanted to get rid of my largest notions--fear and my short temper. I will continue to work diligently, cultivate myself well, and nurture the grand compassion of a god.

Master keeps telling us that we should save the Chinese people. I truly believe that as long as I can keep strong righteous thoughts, not get moved under any circumstances, and keep doing what I should do, I will catch up with the pace of Fa rectification and become a true disciple.

February 10, 2006