(Clearwisdom.net) I left my home before October 1, when the local police were monitoring and arresting practitioners. I sensed something was wrong. Just after I had fully charged my cell phone, a "low battery" warning came on. I asked myself, "What is Master trying to tell me?" Because of my business, I had not studied the Fa very well. After cultivating for two years, I still did not fully know the meaning of looking inside myself. Plus, I cultivated alone when I was in Beijing and only occasionally went back to my hometown and shared with local practitioners, so I had not developed a very deep understanding. I did not know how to use righteous thoughts to negate the old forces' arrangements. With Master's compassionate hints, I left home at night.
When I started sharing with practitioners who were also homeless I discovered my own gap that separated me from them. With Master's guidance I suddenly understood what it is to look into oneself and how to be tolerant when other practitioners' find our attachments. I recited Master's articles eagerly. My mind really stayed calm. The meanings of the Fa also appeared to me continuously.
I began cultivating very late. My Fa study was based on a poor foundation and I had lots of attachments. Things always came up all of a sudden and I could not set my mind at rest at my business. Usually I took care of my business and my husband did not. Now I realize that the reason why he did not take part in the business is because I was being so impulsive. Fellow practitioners reminded me that for my own safety, not to make phone calls. I still persisted, willfully and impulsively. I made three calls. After studying the Fa, I think these three calls are a reflection of my attachment to vanity, self-interest and qing at my present level.
On the first call, the party on the other side said hastily, "Your brother has just been released. The police did not allow him to close his eyes for 24 hours. They told him to stay in the vehicle and search for you." When I finished the call I thought deeply, "This call is to make me let go of the attachment to qing. I will not be moved." Although I denied the arrangements and I did not agree with the arrangements, I was still not sure how to fully deny them.
Several days later I placed another call. Just before that Master was giving me a hint not to do so. I have two cell phone SIM cards. The first one showed "not available" when I put it into the cell phone. After I put the second one into the cell phone, the call did not go through. But I still did not give up. When a practitioner said that she would go to call somebody I went with her. I called several times, but could not get through. But because of my attachment, on the last try, it reached the other side. A person said, "What is it? What do you want to say?" The manner of speaking was so rigid. Because none of my employees would speak to me that way, I suddenly realized there must be something wrong. I hung up. Later a practitioner came and said, "The police have searched your company and your home." Actually when we are doing something wrong, Master will always try to remind us. But because of our attachments, we often don't realize it until after something happens.
I then was overcome with anxiety. I even said, "I won't practice anymore." I quickly corrected myself. How could I be defeated just because of these hardships? This also exposed that I was not steadfast toward Master and Dafa. I decided to study the Fa more and strengthen my resolve to cultivate. When I read, "Teaching the Fa at the 2002 Fa Conference in Philadelphia, U.S.A." it says,
"They're all being good people, they're being the best people in the world--they're good people that surpass everyday people..."
Of course! We had been searching for how to be good people in our everyday lives. How could we give up so easily after finding the true direction for life? I looked at Master's picture and said repeatedly, "Master, I was wrong! Please forgive me!" Soon after that I published a Solemn Statement on the Internet [to make null and void my wrong thought before (giving up practice)]. I would not let the evil succeed. I want to be a Fa-rectification Dafa disciple.
When I made the third call, the other side said, "Your company has been closed." I was confused. However, I was more rational than the last two times. Although I was also sad, it was clear to me that this happened because I hadn't let go of my attachments thoroughly. I thought, "It doesn't matter what kind of hardships come. I will get over all of it and let go of my attachments."
I thought I was denying the arrangements. I thought not to be moved means passing the test. I even thought, "What will the next test be? I will let go of it too!" But when I recited a paragraph of "Teaching the Fa at the 2004 Chicago Conference,"
"When you encounter ordeals during your cultivation, you have got to cultivate yourself and look at yourself--that doesn't mean acknowledging the ordeals arranged by the old forces and trying to do well amidst the ordeals they've arranged, that's not the case. We negate even the very emergence of the old forces and everything that they've arranged; we don't even acknowledge their existence. We're fundamentally negating all of their things, and all of, and only, the things you do while negating and getting rid of them is mighty-virtue."
I suddenly understood. I should not cultivate following their arrangements!
We have Master and we have the Fa. If Dafa disciples are doing things based on the Fa, there is not a tribulation that we can't pass! Master has said in Zhuan Falun,
"If anyone can harm you, he or she would be able to harm me. Put simply, that person would be able to harm this universe."
I said, "Master, now I understand. I just need to study the Fa and stay calm. I will devote myself to Dafa and Master. I am a Dafa disciple of the Fa-rectification Period. I will endeavor to deserve this great title. I will study the Fa well to make myself more solid. I will rescue all the beings that I should rescue. I will eliminate all the dark minions, rotten demons and the Communist evil specter that are trying to interfere with Dafa and Dafa disciples. I will be worthy of Master's compassionate salvation.
Actually, this test really made me understand how important it is to let go of my attachments and old notions. If one can adjust one's mind and rise up to a new level of his understanding in the Fa, every problem will be solved. Now my company is fine. The property is not closed down either. I know this is all because, with Master's compassionate guidance, I gradually rose up to a new level. Though I have been out of my home for two months, I must return because that is my own home. How can I leave it only because there are some "mosquitoes and flies?"
In this great moment when the new universe is replacing the old one we can be Dafa disciples of the Fa-rectification Period. What a precious opportunity! We are helping Master to rectify the Fa. In this special moment of history, we are keeping our pre-historical promises. Under Master's great compassion, we should be more diligent to do the three things well.
