(Clearwisdom.net)
Teacher said,
"Those who are attached to affection for family will definitely be burned, entangled, and tormented by it. Pulled by the threads of affection and plagued by them throughout their lives, they will find it too late to regret at the end of their lives." ("Cultivators' Avoidances" in Essentials from Further Advancement)
For a long time, I had been attached to the affection for my husband. I wasn't diligent enough with my cultivation. Therefore, I didn't realize this deeply rooted attachment, and the evil often took advantage of me because of this and created illusions to interfere with my doing the three things that Teacher asked us to do. This created some negative results that kept some of my friends and family members from correctly understanding Dafa and being saved. When I dug out this attachment, I came to realize that my enlightenment quality was so poor. I didn't completely believe in Teacher and the Fa. Teacher has been benevolently protecting me and I've stumbled my way through. I failed some of the tests and really learned my lessons!
When the evil started to persecute Dafa in 1999, along with other fellow practitioners, I stepped forward to clarify the truth to people. However, I didn't pay enough attention to studying the Fa with a peaceful heart and mind. At the end of 2000, my husband had an affair and we separated. After a lot of Fa study and with the help from my fellow practitioners, I looked inside and sent forth righteous thoughts to eliminate the evil and completely denied the old forces' arrangements. I was determined to walk the path that Teacher arranged for me. Dafa's compassion helped my husband realize his mistake. He came back to me and our children. This lesson should have helped me get rid of my attachments. However, it created some other attachments for me. For example, I became fearful and I started to second-guess my husband. Three months ago on my daughter's birthday, my husband's cell phone rang. He was sleeping at the time, so I brought his cell phone to him and then hid behind the door trying to find out whether it was a phone call from some girl. My husband finished the call and came out. I tried to run into the bathroom so he wouldn't know I was spying on him. However, there was water on the bathroom floor and I slipped and fell on my back. It was a hard fall and my head hit the floor. I knew in my heart that I was OK, since I am a Dafa practitioner. My daughter ran in to check on me. I sat up. My husband hurried into the bathroom as well and they helped me stand up. My head hurt for a few days. It was pretty scary when I think about it now. My husband said, "You might have badly injured your head if you were not a Dafa practitioner." I was completely fine. However, I immediately came to realize that the evil took advantage of my attachment and that cultivation is a very serious matter.
The Fa-rectification is close to the end. However, I still have so many everyday people's attachments and I sometimes forget my mission of saving sentient beings. Because my understandings of the Fa principles were unclear and my acknowledgment of the old forces' arrangements, the interference became stronger and I was often driven by the illusions that the evil created. For example, my husband began to indulge himself in entertainment and he would not come back home, which interfered with my doing the three things. In this way, the evil achieved their goal of destroying sentient beings. I should completely eliminate the evil, save the sentient beings, and safeguard the Fa. When I realized my attachment, my husband no longer went out day and night, as he realized it was not right. I know in my heart that it is because of the Fa's compassionate salvation of him.
