(Clearwisdom.net) Recently, I encountered severe sickness karma. It mainly manifested itself as sciatica, and I had difficulty walking or sleeping. It strongly interfered with my job, as well as Fa study.
In the beginning, I thought it was simply the usual process of eliminating karma, and that it would pass after a few days. After a few days of rest, I felt a little better during the May 1st holiday. Although it still hurt, I was able to walk normally. However, because I did not hold firmly to my righteous thoughts and did not handle some matters well, as a result of my attachment to male-female relationships, the next day, the tribulation intensified to the point that I could no longer sleep normally.
I could no longer endure it, so I asked an overseas practitioner. The practitioner called me the next day and pointed out what was persecuting me: it wasn't sickness karma. I suddenly remembered that in the beginning, my condition would improve when I sent forth righteous thoughts. However, my human notions were strong, and I did not follow Teacher's words to let go of everyday people's notions. As a result, I used a medical plaster to reduce the pain caused by the sickness karma. I did not begin to practice Dafa until the end of 2004 or the beginning of 2005. It's only been half a year since I started to practice diligently. Moreover, I've constantly been in a state of personal cultivation and clarifying the truth because of the situation in Mainland China. I lacked experience sharing with other practitioners; therefore, I was unclear on many Fa principles. Practitioners told me at the present time, the old forces are being eliminated, and the main interferences is from the evil spirit of the CCP. They told me to read the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party more often. I only read the Nine Commentaries once, so I started re-reading it to eliminate all factors of the evil CCP spirit.
The next morning, my state of sickness karma did not improve, and I went to the hospital because I couldn't bear it any longer. I did not follow everything Teacher arranged for me, and I abandoned this tribulation. I felt really uncomfortable, and I did not know whether the hospital would provide any results. However, when I arrived at the hospital, everything was far from my expectations. Everything became normal after arriving at the hospital without any medical care or medicine, and it happened within a few hours. The doctor asked me to have a CT scan, and I didn't because it was really expensive. Then they x-rayed my body, but the doctor suddenly found out the software for the x-ray machine had some problems. Thus, it took a long time before the results came out. During the process, the doctor told me to close my legs, but my legs were so painful that I couldn't move them at all. However, as soon as I stepped out of the room, I immediately felt better, as if my legs were getting stretched. I realized that I shouldn't be there. The doctor who was looking after me did not see any problem from my x-rays, so I left the hospital immediately. I did not take the medicine the doctor prescribed for me, and my situation improved a great deal the next day. After two more days, I was fully recovered.
The day after I left the hospital, I was worried that the sickness karma would recur, so I stayed home for a day without going to work. In the afternoon, I fell asleep. I had a dream that I was wearing old, worn out underwear with a ripped crotch, as well as women's socks, and was eating food on a small chair. All the food was yellow in color. After I woke up, I realized that Teacher was pointing out that I have a big loophole (the underwear ripped at the crotch, was a symbol of a big loophole) and I am too attached in the areas of qing and lust. After my realization, my body distinctively felt much better.
From this experience of sickness karma, I had some understandings that I wish to share with fellow practitioners.
First of all, the evil spirit of the CCP persecutes Dafa practitioners on the whole, and its methods are not necessarily the usual methods that people see, such as taking people to labor camps or jails. Practitioners who are at home, if you cannot maintain a righteous mind, the spirit in other dimension will persecute you nonetheless.
Secondly, cultivation is a serious matter. When you have a loophole, although you can deny it with your righteous thoughts, you must eliminate your own attachments in order to truly solve the problem.
Thirdly, I saw on Minghui that a lot of practitioners were experiencing similar sickness karma around May 1. Seemingly, the evil was rampant during that time. Thus, I wanted to write out my own experience and share with other practitioners, so that practitioners encountering similar problems are able to hold firmly to their righteous thoughts and deny the persecution.
Lastly, practitioners who are still attached to lust and qing, please treasure this chance Teacher gave us. Let go of the human heart; it is the root of cultivation. Recently, my mind would often reflect Teacher's words: "Those who are attached to lust are no different from wicked people. While reciting the scriptures, they even cast furtive glances; they are far from the Dao and are wicked, everyday people." (Essentials for Further Advancement)
I constantly use these words to rectify every single thought. I spent more than a year before I could truly control my inclination to lust, and recently I felt that I truly improved in this area. More than a year ago, my conduct was dreadful, and I also felt very helpless because I could not let go of this attachment. Teacher would constantly help me and encourage me by showing me grand and beautiful scenes of the universe when I had strong determination and will. Within my cultivation, I enlightened to the fact that to truly let go of the attachment to lust, one needs more than a strong determination to avoid these bad things. Of course this is also part of it. Dafa cultivation is among everyday people, and letting go of this attachment completely with your heart unmoved is the most basic. Being attached to lust or the fear of being attached are both attachments. The true state a cultivator should achieve is to be unmoved and not have these filthy attachments on one's mind.
The above are personal understandings; please kindly point out anything incorrect.
