(Clearwisdom.net) As a Falun Dafa practitioner, I think a fundamental thing is to truly believe. We must believe in Teacher and the Fa.
I read the precious book Zhuan Falun in 1996 and cannot express the joy I felt at that time. I felt like the happiest person on earth. I had finally learned the true meaning of life. I felt that I had come looking for the Fa, and my world view changed fundamentally.
I was previously shy when around lots of people, but after I started practicing Dafa I changed completely. I wanted to help everyone around me to practice Dafa and learn the true meaning of life. I believed in Teacher and the Fa from the depths of my heart, and nothing could make me waver.
I was fortunate enough to attend an art exhibit held in Changchun City in May 1997 that celebrated the fifth anniversary of Teacher's first introduction of the Fa to the public. I was moved by every single picture, by every practitioner's cultivation experience sharing article, and by every piece of artwork. It was a memorable experience, and I took lots of photographs.
I cannot forget what happened at the exhibit. The artworks and calligraphy were displayed in five different rooms. While standing in room No. 2, I saw a woman practitioner who could not walk being supported by two men practitioners. The exhibition was free. We could tell she was a Falun Gong practitioner only because she wore the Falun emblem. The volunteer in Room 2 asked her, "If you are a Falun Gong practitioner, how come you can't walk?" The woman practitioner told the two men practitioners to let go of her, and she started walking step by step before our eyes. She walked across the room and looked at Teacher's picture hanging on the wall. She made the heshi gesture in front of the picture and was in tears. Many practitioners in the room also cried and thanked Teacher for his benevolent salvation!
The woman's name was Li Yaqing, and she lived in Changchun City. She contracted postpartum wind tetany after giving birth to her third child, and her legs became paralyzed. She lived as a paraplegic for the next 18 years. She had started practicing Falun Dafa in January 1997. But after four months of cultivation, or it could be said that within several minutes at this art exhibit, this woman was able to stand up and walk normally.
Several Dafa practitioners who had met during this exhibit decided to go to Dalian City, because we heard that Teacher went there. We went by train and tried to follow in Teacher's footsteps. While on the train, I took out the photographs I had taken at the art exhibit. One woman sitting in front of us with her mother and daughter out of curiosity also looked at the pictures. The woman felt dizzy when she looked at the pictures. She became agitated and took Teacher's book on the table, shouting that "the things inside her body can't take it." A fellow practitioner realized she was being affected by some sort of possession. The practitioner told her about Dafa and said that possession is a very bad and serious thing, but through following the righteous Fa, all evil will be suppressed.
The woman had understood the truth by the time the train arrived at her station. She decided to practice Dafa, indicating she didn't want the spirit possession. She immediately vomited and felt better afterwards. She took all of Teacher's books and happily went home.
What she said before she left, however, was what touched me. She said, "The python left! It said to me before it took off, 'you don't have a conscience.' " I thought, "Is it the white snake [from a traditional folklore]? If so, what a pity."
I didn't realize the serious consequences that would result when this unrighteous thought flashed across my mind. In the evening, several of us practitioners squeezed into one room so we could talk to each other. I told them that I had decided to return to Changchun early the next morning to join a group Fa study. I no longer wanted to go sightseeing during the summer, as I wanted to study the Fa.
Right after I laid down, I saw a one-plank bridge before me. On the bridge was an old woman with an extremely vicious and frightening face. All of her white hair was standing straight up. She stretched out her arms with extremely long fingernails on her hands and suddenly jumped into my brain. I was startled and immediately sat up. I told other practitioners what I had just seen. They reminded me to look inside for my attachments.
I thought it over, "Am I attached to going back to Changchun tomorrow morning, like other practitioners say? Am I attached to that environment?" I used to be easily scared, but I gained courage after I started practicing Dafa, because I have Dafa in my heart and I know that Teacher is protecting me. I was not afraid to walk even the most dimly lit street. This time, however, I was somewhat afraid.
I couldn't figure out what was happening, and how the old woman was able to enter my brain. Fortunately, I had Teacher and Dafa, so I laid back down and asked Teacher, "Teacher, I'm afraid! Please, protect me!"
I fell asleep with that thought still in my mind. The next morning I was surprised to hear fellow practitioners talking about last night's deafening thunder. There were no less than six thunder claps, as if they exploded right in front of our window. A great fireball even entered our room. A golden Falun [law wheel] from a copy of Zhuan Falun that a practitioner had placed next to her pillow left the book and engulfed the fireball. Strangely, I didn't hear any thunder. I only knew that it had rained all night long.
I cannot express with words my belief and gratitude toward Teacher. I know that Teacher had protected me.
While on the return train trip to Changchun City, I sat back and closed my eyes to relax. Suddenly, I saw the same old woman who had entered my brain earlier. She was beneath a mountain so high that I could not see the top of it. She no longer looked vicious. Her facial skin drooped and her white hair was strewn about her face. I suddenly realized the meaning of the plea, "Teacher, protect me!" I could not hold back my tears! I finally realized my attachment. The python was able to take advantage of my acknowledgment in a single thought. [She felt sorry for the white snake being removed at that moment.] What a frightening thought! Nothing is impossible if we truly believe in Teacher and the Fa! We really have to persist with our righteous thoughts. If we have one bad thought, a battle between the righteous and evil would ensue, and Teacher would have to solve the problem for us. Teacher's hard work is beyond people's imagination.
After April 25, 1999 I made an unforgivable mistake toward Dafa. I sat outside my door and cried for a long time. I recalled every detail of my cultivation experience and thought, "I should be determined in my faith in Teacher and Dafa. Why did I hesitate then? Why did I doubt Teacher?" Another day I sat with another practitioner for a long time, who thought the same thing. Before we parted, we agreed that we would cultivate all the way until the end, whether or not the Fa was true. I didn't think much of it then, but I didn't realize this thought was doubting Dafa and lacking in righteous thought. In the following days I deeply felt the pressure of persecution. I lacked righteousness and instead resorted to an ordinary person's cunning.
One night I had a dream. I was running alongside a group of practitioners. Many Buddhas sat inside illuminated circles in the sky. We saw lots of people practicing Falun Gong when we ran past a village, but their movements were wrong. We stopped and corrected them and kept running forward. By this time, fewer practitioners were still running, but the path became wider and brighter. The many Buddhas were still sitting inside the lighted circles in the sky, right next to us.
Suddenly everything disappeared! Instead, huge rocks and waves rushed down on me. The waves were higher than mountains, and they rolled toward me. I closed my eyes and kept running forward. The rocks couldn't hit me and the waves couldn't reach me. They were merely illusions. Only two practitioners were beside me by now. One of them said, "Turn right!" I looked to my right and saw a small path, and I turned right without a second thought. I saw a person covered in spikes crawling toward me, but I didn't pay attention. I ran toward the end of the path and was shocked by what I saw. I had gone to hell! Why did I come here? I must return, and I shouldn't have made that right turn.
When I tried to go back, I saw countless gigantic, repulsive, poisonous bugs crawling toward me from all directions. They were all over the place. And if they touched someone, he would look like the person covered in spikes I saw crawling.
Suddenly I awoke from the dream. Where did I make the turn? I finally realized later on that I had developed doubts when the evildoers issued an arrest warrant for Teacher. I had doubted Teacher and Dafa. When I self-righteously proclaimed that I would practice until the end, whether Dafa is true or not, I didn't have the righteous belief by then and had made the wrong turn. I had made a mistake. What a filthy mentality! Benevolent and great Teacher had endured so much for me, much of which are tremendous tribulations that I can never imagine, and yet I had doubt. I truly let Teacher down.
How do we find righteous belief? We cannot achieve firm righteous belief in Teacher and in Dafa by merely talking about it. We must have a solid foundation of Fa study! We must study the Fa and constantly study the Fa.
Teacher said,
"When I taught the Fa I told you before about all the problems that might occur during this malicious and destructive examination. It is indeed difficult for those who haven't truly done cultivation to come through this. Now you can see why I've often told you to read the book more, right?! The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference" from Essentials for Further Advancement II)
My problem was precisely the lack of consistent Fa study. Everything I came in contact with among ordinary people was evil slander and propaganda. Those things are alive. If we let our guards down and believe them just a little, these false messages will take advantage of us, but if we study the Fa with determination and believe in Teacher and the Fa, then those things cannot influence us.
When my supervisor at work again asked me what I thought I decided not to beat around the bush any longer. I told them openly, in a solemn manner, that I will never abandon my belief, and that I will practice Dafa until the end. My superior said to me, "Then you should resign, because if we fire you, it'll be hard for you to find another job." I told him, "I won't quit my job. I love my job. It's up to you if you want to fire me, but I'll never resign."
After I left my work place, I felt the space between heaven and earth was high and wide again, and my heart that was depressed for a long time finally relaxed. When I went to work again, the supervisor said to me, "Forget it! I won't fire you! Whatever has happened, happened. Don't tell my superior that you still practice Falun Gong!" I was infinitely grateful that Teacher gave me opportunity after opportunity. Nothing can stop the power of righteous belief.
I cannot express with words my reverence for Teacher. I can only practice cultivation diligently to make up for the loss I had caused Dafa. I will take solid steps on the path of cultivation and do well with the things Fa rectification period Dafa disciples are supposed to do. I believe in Teacher and Dafa and cherish this opportunity of countless eras that will never return again.
