(Clearwisdom.net) An incident a few days ago made a deep impression on me. I gained a new understanding of the Fa, which I would like to share with fellow practitioners. Please kindly put right anything I might have not understood correctly.
One evening during dinnertime, my husband brought up the subject of traditional Buddhism. (My husband is an atheist, but he enjoys reading books on Buddhism.) He said, "Buddhism does not mention supernormal abilities. Those which mention supernormal abilities are evil cults." My daughter is a Falun Dafa practitioner. Upon hearing her father's accusations, she started to argue with him. My husband became angry and started to curse. I thought, "Isn't she filled with antagonism? Why is a Dafa practitioner bickering with a non-cultivator?"
They kept raising their voices. I was worried that the neighbors might develop a bad impression of Falun Dafa. Therefore, I scolded my daughter and told her to stop fighting. But she wouldn't listen. I thought, "You are a Falun Dafa cultivator. Every day you talk about eliminating this attachment and that attachment, but what you actually do does not match what you say at all." I began to look down at my daughter. I showed my unfriendliness in my tone and in my eyes. I even asked her to leave. After she left our place, my husband kept complaining. "How dare a daughter talk to her father that way!" I tried to pacify my husband. "It's no big deal. Why did you have to make a big fuss?"
That night after midnight, I suddenly had a stomachache. My first thought was that it might be the chill. (According to Chinese traditional medicine, chill can result in stomachache.) My stomachache got worse. When I got up in the morning, I began to retch. I repeatedly vomited throughout the entire day. That evening my daughter came and noticed my condition, but she didn't say anything. I continued to suffer from stomachache and could not eat anything. My second thought was that I might be burning off karma.
On the following day, my daughter came and checked on me again. This time she told me, "Why don't you think about what happened? How could you possibly get ill without a reason? When you heard Dad attacking Dafa, you didn't do anything. Were you truly and completely impervious to all his criticism? Then why have you closed yourself off from any feedback to him? You got angry when I told you that you put too much salt in a dish. Think about your attitude. You acted like you were siding with the evil. At the minimum, you should send forth righteous thoughts to stop Dad from committing blasphemy against Dafa." I disagreed with my daughter's opinion immediately. I couldn't take any criticism, at least not immediately, even if it was the truth and the reprimand justified. Afterwards, I thought carefully about it and decided my daughter was right. Teacher must have given me a hint through my daughter.
What is a Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification period? It depends on whether she/he will protect Dafa at all times, validate the Fa, be altruistic and have a steadfast faith in Teacher and Dafa. This is very critical. Otherwise, a person cannot be called a genuine Dafa practitioner, no matter how much Fa she has studied or how much Falun Dafa truth-clarification work she has done.
I may have acted like I wasn't fighting, but I thought only of protecting myself. I may have acted peacefully, but I thought only of cultivating myself well. However, if I don't protect the Fa, how could I possibly exist if there were no Dafa? In addition, when I heard my husband attacking Dafa, I should have stopped him from committing blasphemy against Dafa if I had truly been unselfish. To stop a person from committing a crime against Dafa is genuine compassion. When I saw my daughter's inadequacies, did I look down on her or did I remind her to improve? Aren't these ways to measure if I am a genuine Dafa practitioner? But I failed based on all of these criteria. I placed my personal cultivation first and I failed to identify a demonic tribulation when it took place. I treated the tribulation as a natural phenomenon.
Teacher said,
"Whenever a tribulation comes, you do not see it with the side of your original nature but view it completely with your human side. Evil demons then capitalize on this point and inflict endless interference and damage, leaving students in long-term tribulations. " "If it continues endlessly and if there do not exist other problems in your xinxing or conduct, it must be that the evil demons are capitalizing on the weak spots caused by your lack of control. After all, a cultivator is not an ordinary human. So why doesn’t the side of you that is your original nature rectify the Fa? " ("Expounding on the Fa" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
I saw it with my human side and chose the old universe's principle to tolerate even when my husband was attacking Dafa. In other words, I did side with the evil and stepped on very dangerous ground.
Teacher said,
"You have humanly restrained your divine side; in other words, you have restrained the parts that have been successfully cultivated and have prevented them from doing Fa-rectification." ("Expounding on the Fa" in Essentials for Further Advancement)
After this incident, my husband called Dafa a cult two more times. I thought, "I am a Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. I must rectify all abnormalities." I solemnly told him, "Dafa is most righteous. It is the evil that attacks the most righteous." My husband was speechless and did not commit blasphemy against Dafa again. In the past, I was afraid of domestic conflicts out of selfishness. I was afraid of having my husband know it when I helped with truth-clarification work because I didn't want him to fight with me and I didn't want any of my neighbors to know we were fighting because of Dafa. Little did I know that it were precisely these human thoughts that caused these domestic conflicts. Attachments are the prerequisites of interference. Nowadays I try to maintain righteous thoughts at all times. I am doing the most righteous thing. No one has the power to interfere with my truth-clarification work. Because of this thought, the effect of my truth-clarification work has become better. My husband no longer interferes.
I used to have a feeling that I was enveloped with something like a fog or an invisible obstruction, which kept me from becoming pure, clean and clear. For a long time, I was unable to identify what it was. Now I know it was a shell of selfishness from the old universe that had enveloped me and obstructed me from melting into Dafa. That was the reason why I failed to understand the true implication of being a Dafa practitioner in the Fa-rectification period. Strictly speaking, I had taken advantage of Dafa for my personal gain. I studied the Fa more because I wanted to enlighten to more Fa. I had done the Three Things so that I wouldn't fall behind the Fa-rectification. I emphasized personal cultivation so much that searching inward had become an attachment. Even when it comes to doing truth-clarification work, I had been selfish. I used to think, "I should do those more important truth-clarification projects so that I would earn more mighty virtue." When I saw attachments in fellow practitioners, I seldom pointed them out. What filthy, selfish thoughts I had! Everything I did, I did it to attain Consummation. My foundation was selfish.
I must study the Fa more and assimilate to the Fa unconditionally. I must live by the Fa with every thought, every word and every action. I shall restrain and repel those selfish elements and validate Dafa with a clear and clean mind so that I will be able to save more sentient beings.
