(Clearwisdom.net) I decided to write an experience sharing paper for the 2006 DC Fahui (experience sharing conference) after attending the 2006 Canada Fahui in Toronto. As is always the case after attending a Fahui, I felt strongly re-motivated about my cultivation and came to understand how I could do the three things better.
As Falun Dafa practitioners, we know that our bodies are being purified and our lives are being re-arranged. Everybody has a specially designed path with various trials and tribulations along the way to provide opportunities for cultivation, upgrading xinxing and eliminating karma. Our paths are all different and can even be very different from practitioner to practitioner. From Master's article "Path":
"The path each person is to take is different, because each person's foundation is different, the sizes of their various attachments are different, the characteristics of their beings are different, their jobs among everyday people are different, their family environments are different, and so on. These factors determine that each person's path of cultivation is different, that how they get rid of their attachments is different, and that the sizes of their tests are different."
I will now discuss how my path has evolved over the past three years.
I moved to Los Angeles from New York in May 2003 to take a position in the Capital Markets group of one of the largest mortgage companies in the US. Working in a Capital Markets group on a trading floor provided me with many opportunities to temper myself and upgrade xinxing.
A trading floor is a place where traders of securities (in our case, pools of mortgages, bonds backed by mortgages, treasury bonds, etc.) and salespeople who cover banks, insurance companies, hedge funds, etc. do business. It is a very fast-paced, competitive and stressful environment. I worked as a trader; I had already done so for three years prior to arriving in Los Angeles.
In this male-dominated environment, people are very materialistic and the main topics of non-work-related conversation revolve around sports, cars, drinking and women. Foul language is heard continually throughout the day. I thought to myself that this is going to be quite a significant challenge for me to show Dafa's positive image and to clarify the facts of the persecution here. I also felt that it was perhaps my mission to do so since I didn't know of any other practitioners who worked in this kind of an environment and the fact that everybody's path is unique.
I also knew there was a great deal of interference at work here. I adopted a cautious approach to try to look for ways in which I could bring up the subject of Falun Dafa and the persecution easily. It is a subject that is very different from what is on everybody's mind and given the limited interaction I had with my colleagues, other than dealing with them for work, obtaining a chance to really talk to them about Dafa would be rare. But I also had faith in Master and knew that he would make the arrangements, as clarifying the facts and talking about Dafa has to be done in an appropriate context and with a very righteous frame of mind. I also wanted to show my colleagues through my conduct and demeanor that I should be thought of in a positive light so that my message will be that much more credible. I also carried a "Stop the Persecution of Falun Gong" pin on my briefcase to initiate curiosity. I would always send forth righteous thoughts on the way to work or listen to Master Li's lecture CDs.
While my immediate supervisor took a very negative view of Dafa due to his being influenced by the propaganda from his time working at a Chinese bank, my other colleagues were intrigued and curious to know a little more. I also started giving them copies of The Epoch Times, which I started distributing in January 2004. I told them how I had attended rallies, peaceful protests at the Chinese Consulate in L.A. on the weekends, participated in clarifying the truth about the persecution. I told my colleagues about the evils committed by the CCP and that one cannot believe what they say. By being somewhat well-versed in the CCP's history through reading the Nine Commentaries on the Communist Party, I could provide them with examples about what the CCP has done to China and the need for Americans to be aware of what's really going on there. One day, my supervisor actually asked me about the Nine Commentaries since he had heard a reference to it on a news program. The following day I gave him the book and spoke a little bit about it with him. The fact that he accepted it indicated that his adversarial stance towards Falun Dafa had softened somewhat.
During one of our weekly meetings, the chief operating officer, who was very interested in Buddhism and regularly made trips to a monastery in India, brought up the topic of meditation. He was curious to know if the traders would be interested in the benefits of meditation. I could hear many of them whispering remarks mocking the suggestion. The suggestion really was something out of the blue but also something the other traders just couldn't warm up to even when suggested by the chief operating officer. I went to talk to the chief operating officer a couple of days later about meditation and gave him my copy of the book Falun Gong as an introduction to Falun Gong. He read it in its entirety and very much enjoyed it. He explained to me that he was interested in all kinds of Buddhist-related material. As long as he had a positive view of Falun Dafa, I felt that that's a good start.
Throughout my time in L.A., I was very much bogged down by my workload and I tried to figure out how I could do a better job of the three things in the Fa-Rectification period. Clearly, my work situation was a form of interference that I was not handling particularly well. So I had to look within to see if I was clinging to attachments or if there were gaps in my cultivation that were causing me to lead this lifestyle.
Ever since I was a young teenager, I've known what my career goals were and what I had to do to achieve them. But could my ongoing pursuit of career goals be an attachment? Was it detracting from other aspects of life? Success in mortgage trading can be very financially rewarding. All of my superiors were quite wealthy. And for my colleagues, working 12, 13, 14+ hour days is well worth the sacrifice for the chance to strike it rich. But I did not want to pursue the goal of having the kind of money like my superiors. That kind of behavior would not be consistent with the Fa. And the pursuit of money was one thing creating imbalances in my life and it was not enabling me to do well the three things in the Fa-rectification Period. So was it necessary to continue this way given all that was going through my mind? I felt not. I came to the conclusion that it was time to take a new direction in life. It would be a step into the unknown but I had faith in Master and from my lowly level, I could only conclude that there were certain things that I still needed to enlighten to in order to progress in cultivation. I felt I needed to have a better balance in my life with work, Dafa and other aspects of life.
I also had to give up the attachment to self, to pride in what my job was or being of a certain social standing. I believe one of my attachments is to be in a safe, secure situation with few uncertainties. I made a step into the unknown when I decided to leave L.A. and it forced me to directly confront some of these attachments. I now have to deal with the task of re-inventing myself and being in a very different situation from my peers. But I welcome this new challenge eagerly. This is yet another twist in my cultivation path.
From "Teaching the Fa at the Conference in Vancouver, Canada, in 2003":
"Master is compassionate and he'll definitely arrange for you what's the best".
As long as we are able to realize what our attachments are and take actions to eliminate them, as drastic as those actions may be, we can make progress in cultivation and be able to do the three things even better.
I also wanted to briefly share some understandings I've come to during the Fa-rectification period. As we validate the Fa, we must exemplify the Fa's qualities. We must be benevolent and compassionate. We cannot be moved by emotions and desires. We should not come across as zealots but rather show the world what good people we are as practitioners of Falun Dafa.
Fa study is something that we must all do exceedingly well. By studying the Fa, one of my understandings is that at a very basic level, we increase our chances of having the Fa's guidance when we need it most. A practitioner recently asked me, "How do we know we've made progress in cultivation?" I thought, when making split second decisions or even more major decisions, do we have all the principles of the Fa at our fingertips? In our everyday lives, are we able to think righteously? Can we honestly say that we now handled a certain situation differently (and better from a Fa perspective) than we would have as an ordinary person? I think if we can answer affirmatively those questions, then we've made progress in cultivation.
Fa study has to be a top priority for all cultivators as it is one of the three things Master asked us to do. To this end, I felt that I could accommodate a group Fa study in my place in Los Angeles. We began in April 2005 and every Tuesday night we'd read a chapter and then discuss it and share our experiences. From week to week, we'd have anywhere from two to seven practitioners attending (myself included). If nobody was able to make it, I'd make sure I'd keep up the routine. I strongly believed that consistency and regularity were important as well as establishing a place in West L.A. where people could come for Fa study. Occasionally, a new person would be referred to me and this would be a great way to talk to them about Dafa.
Having my place for Fa study every Tuesday night gave a few practitioners who hadn't participated in a large group Fa study the chance to get involved in a small, comfortable setting. I think it is surprising how many potential Fa-rectification disciples are out there that just need to be reached out to. One lady who regularly attended remarked that she had never really participated in group Fa Study before and that she was grateful that I was able to hold it at my place. This enabled her to get more involved with the activities that the L.A. group was undertaking during the Fa-rectification period and thus enabled her and all of us to share and cultivate together and better do what Master asked of us.
I recall one night, a fellow practitioner said that she had been contacted by a man who was visiting from Philadelphia. He was very interested in Falun Dafa but that she had no time to go over it with him. So she suggested he go to my place and I welcomed him, a little unsure what to expect but still with an open, compassionate mind. He was a middle-aged man who planned on taking the bus back to Philadelphia after we were done. We spoke about Falun Dafa briefly and he indicated that he wanted to buy the book, Zhuan Falun. So I suggested we read Lecture One, alternating paragraphs like we would do for Fa study. It was just he and I and we read the entire lecture without stopping, as if we had read it many times before. The practitioner who had suggested that he come to my place returned and took him back to the bus station. She had some concerns about taking a total stranger to the bus station but I said that there was nothing to worry about. It was a unique experience to have been able to study the Fa with a total stranger who had never read Zhuan Falun before. I've always had an attachment to doing things within my comfort zone. Welcoming a total stranger into my home, somebody who wasn't even a practitioner, to spend a weeknight studying the Fa, was totally unheard of for me. Such an act confronted my attachment of preferring to do things that are within my comfort zone. But I realized that I had just gotten over this attachment and potentially helped somebody obtain the Fa.
To share a brief example on how I think I've gotten rid of an attachment and progressed according to the Fa, let me share an experience about soccer. I've always loved playing soccer and watching soccer. I still play in an organized league today and I remember watching soccer dating back to the 1982 World Cup, 24 years ago. So it's always been a part of my life. It is very easy to become overly attached to a team's fortunes and there's also a competitive aspect involved when playing. Master actually referred to the demon nature of soccer fans. While I have been able to tone down my competitive mentality when playing, I also have been able to detach myself from the fortunes of my favorite soccer team. I feel that I'm able to follow what is going on objectively without being emotionally attached, as if neutral to the outcome. I don't feel bad if my team loses and I'm able to move on and get on with my life. These may sound like trivial things to many people but I think it is a huge improvement for me.
Thank you Master and fellow practitioners.
Please correct any misunderstandings in my interpretation of the Fa and the three things that we must do well.
