(Clearwisdom.net) I am a Falun Dafa practitioner who began the practice in 1998. Upon reviewing the eight years of my cultivation journey, I had always felt that I have walked my path very well. During this period of time, only through studying Teacher's lecture, "Teaching the Fa in the City of Los Angeles" did I suddenly awaken and found that I had already gone awry. If it were not for the merciful reminders from Teacher, the consequence would be too dreadful to contemplate. Now, I would like to share my experience to expose those attachments that I have not completely let go.
I had gone to Beijing twice to uphold Falun Dafa. On the first trip, I was just like the person Teacher mentioned in his lecture who would "stroll around and then head back" ("Teaching the Fa at the Washington, D.C. International Fa Conference") without achieving the goal. After coming back, my son accused me of wasting my time. I did not take his words to heart or look inward because I could only see the fact that practitioners had not done anything wrong by trying to be good people.
For several years, although I have always been doing the three things, upon taking a look back, I saw that what I have done did not truly meet the standard of doing the three things well. One sign of this is that whenever my son and daughter-in-law say anything critical, my temper flares up immediately. Even when I clarified the truth to them, I would get frustrated and think, "Why don't you listen to such a good Fa? I am doing this completely for your benefit, how come you can't tell what's good and what's bad?" I was not treating them as sentient beings that needed me to save them. When I encountered difficulties, I did not always consider others first, but often only thought about how unfairly others treated me. When a conflict arose, I often failed to think about what mentality I must get rid of from my heart. When I did not do well, I would regret that my own attachments had not been removed. In other words, throughout the course of my cultivation path, I would think of how "I" can do better, which is actually a very deeply hidden selfish mentality.
When I had discussions with fellow practitioners and heard them pointing out my attachments, I would not calm down and study the Fa earnestly to try to rectify myself within the Fa.
Cultivation practice is serious, only by studying the Fa with a peaceful mind can one rectify every single thought within the Fa.
"The Fa can break all attachments, the Fa can destroy all evil, the Fa can shatter all lies, and the Fa can strengthen righteous thoughts." ("Drive Out Interference")
August 05, 2006
